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Original poster

So upset and it's all my own fault.

87 replies

nutcracker · 08/09/2004 17:11

Some of you may know that i was supposed to be going back to college this september.
I started the course last sept but dropped out just before i should of taken my exams at the end of the first term.
My friend also left but she did take her exams.

We both decided that we wanted to go back and have had a hell of a time trying to get back in as this years course is full.

My friend has just rung to say that our old tutor has told her that because she did her exams and got the credits she can start in yr 2's class. This will mean that she only has to do one yr now instead of 2.

I rang and was told that because i didn't do the exam and didn't get the credit I have to do the it all again from the beginning even though it means that for the first term i will be doing work that i have already done and assignments that i have already done and passed, same goes for presentations, mini tests e.t.c.

I am soo annoyed and upset, i have been crying since she rang. It's my own fault but it's ruined everything.
I won't be able to do the course at all now as i will have to much of a rush to get from school to college in the morning on the bus and home in rush hour on a bus with ds i do not fancy at all.

My friend feels quitye guilty i think as i was crying at her down the phone but obviously I don't want her to feel bad as it's my fault not hers.

Am just soooo anyoed with myslef for being so stupid.

OP posts:
jampot · 09/09/2004 10:33

Nutty - what about doing an OU degree or some other distance learning course? Or are you able to sit the exams in October when many courses run re-sits?

clairabelle · 09/09/2004 10:37

I haven't read all the thread so apologies if I am repeating things. Don't wish to be harsh but I think you need to ask yourself do you really want to do this? Because tbh it sounds as though you are putting obstacles in your own way, thinking about standing in the bus queue etc. It may not be fair that your friend has got in and you haven't but that the way it is, you now need to move on with a positive plan. Have you thought about getting a job at your local hospital as a HCA and working through your NVQ levels as another way to get into nursing? Quite often they will then second you to do your training. Some care homes will also support you through NVQ's. I really don't want to lecture you but you need to get positive

Original poster
nutcracker · 09/09/2004 10:38

Well i did look into an OU course but can't really afford to take that route.

I did ask about doing the exam at another time e.t.c but she just said if i haven't got the credits then i have to do the whole thing all over again.

I haven't got much confidence as it is and something like this just manages to knock me backwards so easily.

Just can't see the point now. Don't know what to do next.

My friend doesn't really seem bothered by the fact that i'm not going to do the course at all either. I know it's silly but I think she may have only been friends with me so that she knew someone there. There is a girl we both know already on yr 2 so she will know her now.

OP posts:
clairabelle · 09/09/2004 10:42

nutty please please don't let this defeat you.

Original poster
nutcracker · 09/09/2004 10:43

Clairabelle - Yeah have thought of doing that loads of time but i can't afford too. My childcare bill would eat up all my wages and my tax credit would go down. We are struggling as it is now so i really don't think it's an option.

I know i sound like i'm putting obstacles in my way, but i have to think about things like that. I have been drenched to many times to think that i could still go and sit in a classroom all day then with soaking wet clothes.

Perhaps i wasn;t cut out for it anyway as i'm obviously not prepared to be stressed out for it.

OP posts:
clairabelle · 09/09/2004 10:44

could you work evenings? twilight shifts or weekends hence not using childcare , is your dp around then?

clairabelle · 09/09/2004 10:46

Two nights a week would give you a decent pay packet and if you could bear to stay up the next day you wouldn't need childcare.

Original poster
nutcracker · 09/09/2004 10:50

Dp sometimes has to work evenings and weekends so am not sure how that would work out.

I have thought about doing nights before, and i did apply to go on the bank staff but nights are quite popualr cos of the money and none came up, and if they did another member of staff covered them.

OP posts:
clairabelle · 09/09/2004 10:53

have you tried agencies?

Original poster
nutcracker · 09/09/2004 10:56

Rang a couple a while back b ut they wanted NVQ's.

I haven't told the college i'm not going yet just incase a miricle happens but i will have to tell them soon, and the nursery and after school club.

Have such a splitting head from all this.

OP posts:
Original poster
nutcracker · 09/09/2004 11:02

Have just emailed the Uni to see if there is a time limit on my Dc test pass.

Am almost sure i read somewhere that you had to apply within 5 yrs of getting the pass. I sat the test in July 2000.

OP posts:
Original poster
nutcracker · 09/09/2004 11:33

Have just searched the jobs at my local hospital but there is nothing that I can doo. They all want 12mths previous experiance.

I'm stumped now, can't think what else to do.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 09/09/2004 11:47

Nutty, I don't know why the time thing wasn't a problem when this friend was doing the same course as you. Wouldn't you have needed to rush about like a blue ar$ed fly then as well? Why is it so much different now she's not doing it with you?

WRT getting wet at the bus stop - get a waterproof coat. No very glam but a cagoule type coat from a camping shop will keep you dry. I had to do this for 5 years going to work before I left home.

You want to do it so do it. You can do it - think positively! Put the past behind you, you'll make new friends in the class and still have your other friend to help you with next year's course work if you get stuck.

SoupDragon · 09/09/2004 11:47

You got yourself a house - you can do ANYTHING!

Original poster
nutcracker · 09/09/2004 11:52

Hi soupy,

I wouldn't have had to rush around because i would have had a lift there and back with my friend.

I still think it's unfair that my friend is going to get away with only doing half the course. She will end up in uni before me when she hasn't done the whole course

I know i should pull myself together but just don't seem to be able to today, have spent most of the morning in tears.
Ds keeps whinging and i just feel thourougly fed up now.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 09/09/2004 11:57

You can do it, I believe in you! Look at how you fought for the house.

It may not be easy and it may not be fair that just because your friend left after the exam rather than before she's a year ahead but you can't change that. You may find someone else can give you a lift when you've met the others on your course. You fought to get a place on the course - please don't give up now.

You can do it - 101 MNers think it so it must be true

Original poster
nutcracker · 09/09/2004 11:58

Thanks Soupy, first time i've smiled today

OP posts:
misdee · 09/09/2004 11:59

how many days a week is the course? sorry, havent been paying attention.

Original poster
nutcracker · 09/09/2004 12:03

It's one Misdee. I know i'm a wimp really, whats one day of rushing around and getting wet.

O.k fine i'll admitt i wanted to do the course with my friend. When we did it before we had such a laugh and were soooo excited about going to uni together. Our kids would also be in the crech togwther.

Now it's not gonna happen and I hate it. I'll still be doing the 2yr whilst she's off at uni.

God i'm crying into my cuppa now.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 09/09/2004 12:03

How much will it change your life when you're qualified?

SoupDragon · 09/09/2004 12:04

How long is the Uni part of the course?

misdee · 09/09/2004 12:06

But you really want to do this course. its what you've been talking bout for ages. is your friend gonna be on the sam site as you will be?? Could you arrange to meet-up after the days course and have a coffee etc.
And your ds has got a palce in the nursery hasnt he? I know its scary starting over, and not knwoing anyone, but you'll find new friends, everyone is scared 1st days on courses.

coddychops · 09/09/2004 12:09

Nutty
this is miss here
now do you r course or ill give oyu a dtention every day for the nest year
by order

Original poster
nutcracker · 09/09/2004 12:10

The uni course is 3 yrs.

It woiuld make a great difference to my life and dp's and the kids.

I would feel like i actually had achieved something for once and we wouldn't have to worry about money.
Oh and obviously i would be doing a job that first jumped into my head 6 yrs ago.

When the thought of becoming a nurse occured to me 6 yrs ago I was gobsmacked and remember spending the rest of the day frowing.
Me a nurse, don't make me laugh, that takes hard work and dedication.
No matter how hard i tried the thought wouldn't leave my head a nd gradually i started to look into it, and got used to seeing peoples shocked looks when i told them it was what i wanted to do. They don't think i can do it either and i'm not surprised, I don't belive in myself why should they.

I know i'll regret it when if i don't do it, but I used up all my fight to get the house, i'm just not sure i have any more inme.

I'd love to prove people wrong, and show them just how determined i can be, but I just can't do it and i hate myself for that.

OP posts:
Original poster
nutcracker · 09/09/2004 12:11

LOL Coddy - I have to really concentrate to decifer your messages today.

OP posts:
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