Please advise a soon-to-be-single-parent You Lovely Wise MNers.....

[JeremyVile]

I seem to be going round in circles here so anyone with experience of this pleeeeease share your wisdom!
The situation is;
Dp and I have agreed to split after almost 7 years (ok, he hasn't technically agreed but hey).
We currently are still under the same roof - this house is owned by his parents.
I am SAHM.
Our finances have always been controlled by him (by mutual consent)and i dont have any savings/assets at all.

OK, so now i need to know what to do next.
I realise i will need to take some sort of benefits at first until i get things sorted and can then return to work, but which ones?
Im not sure what to do re somewhere to live, is it just the case that i find somewhere to rent, that will accept housing benefit? But do i need to apply for the HB first? Would i even be entitled to it?
AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH..........
I'm giving myself a headache even trying to work out which things i might need to think about
I just dont know where to start, I have not been in this situation before and the longer this goes on (partly due to me dragging my feet as im in some kind of mental fug about becoming a single parent)the harder i think its going to be as DP/XDP (?) is using the proximity to make me question myself and my motives for leaving (fair enough as all he wants is for us to remain a family), its already starting to get to me a bit, the guilt is kicking in but i do still know that this is the right thing for me and DS, its also the best thing for him in the end too (he just doesn't realise yet).
The bottom line is, i need to get this sorted but right now i cant see the wood for the trees.
Any advice/inspiration would so gratefully received.

Sorry you are going through this.

You need to go along to CAB for advice on your benefits, and it is also a good idea to make an appt with a solicitor.
You will be suprised how much extra help you are entitled to!

This is my scenario when I left.
I had to be close as possible to the boys school, no council houses or housing ass. houses available. So, I trawled the estate agents looking for a private house. Moved in here in March 7th. You need to have found a house/flat before you apply for housing benefit. In our borough you're lucky to get a council house as you need a zillion points. I'm happy up to now though and it's close to the school.
Have you been to see a lone parent advisor at your local job centre or job centre plus? They helped me re: benefits. I was in a total fog before all this.
I get IS which is £59.15 per week, £120 child benefit per month, £341 per month for child tax credits. My rent is mostly paid and I get council tax paid. Boys are on school dinners now and free dental, prescriptions etc... I have 2 boys

The only way you can apply for benefits whilst still living there is if you are totally living seperately, seperate cooking etc....

Ooh, i didn't know about the advisors at the jobcentre. Thats good, another one added to the list!
Its really lovely to hear a success story Ulysees...are you glad you did it, no regrets?

not a single regret. I was shit scared as have never lived alone, went form mam's to his. So if I can do it anyone can. I just pay my bills direct debit and have online banking. All my benefits, HB etc.. go straight into bank. I check it at least once a day and am still ok money wise. In fact I'm much better with money than ex.

I'd highly recommend lone parent advisors and they're good if you're going back to work too. Can get you on free courses etc..

Thats really good to hear.