WHAT WOULD YOU DO IN MY SITUATION WITH UNPROFESSIONAL HV?

[BaffledByBabyTights]

One of my friends works in the same surgery as my HV, and last week she got very very drunk and told me that the HV has been saying things about me to the other staff, saying 'she rams her intelligence down my throat' (I have no idea what she means by that - I certainly don't go around saying or thinking 'I'm clever'), and 'It's clear she doesn't like me', and the friend says she often discusses the characters of other parents and colleagues. I am very cross about it, and would love to make a formal complaint about her, but I cannot see how to do it without getting my friend into serious trouble for repeating it. So, oh wise mn-ers, what would YOU do??!!

oh fgs
she is off duty she can sayw hat she likes

surprisingly enough, Cod, I don't agree with you. Anyone else?

oh dear

I don't see what you can do either but how very nasty for you

I do love your name btw if that helps at all

Well your HV is breeching confidentiality by talking about you

But unfortunatly your friend is also breeching confideniality by talking about her colleague

Ideally you friend should make the complaint

its a tough one as you are cheesed off cos she has slagged you off but at the end of the day she is off duty and all proffesions slag off their customers clients ect
can you say you have never slagged someone off

i don't understand, do you work in the same place? how come your hv knows you well enough to diss you to your friend? mine wouldn't know me if she fell over me and she had me in there every week for about a hundred years.

surely they have a confidentiality agreement that she has broken
I dont know enough about how I would report here sorry

Are you a collegue of hers or a client I can see why she might moan about a collegue but no any one else, and to name names is disgusting behaviour not someone who should be put in a position of trust

she is meant to be a responsible health professional. that imeans respecting that info that comes to you in the course of your work is confidential.... but she's not spreading confidential info..... just sharing he (rude and unpleasant and probably wrong) opinion of you. she is a horrid (chippy) cow. i wouldnt make a formal complaint but i would be tempted to let her know that you are fully aware of her opoinions and take great exception. you can always change hv"s / surgery?

I would let it go unless your friend tells you that she is discussing medical details. Sure, she in unprofessional, but with your friend being involved you are in a tight spot. She is spouting off about what she thinks of you, not telling anyone secrets.

your mate should not have told you really as what good can it do other than piss you off
sorry not much help really

No, I'm not a PITA mum, I am new here, arrived with my third, and she is a HV in the army base here as DH is in the army and we are abroad - my friend works in the surgery too. There's only about 500 of us here. No, I cannot say I have never slagged anyone off, but I have never been in a position where I am the healthcare professional, and she was doing it while at work to my friend, who is a nurse there. Franny, thanks for saying you like my name - 10 weeks in and I'm still confused by them - the boys were much easier

Do you have to/want to see a HV especially? If so it might be worth changing - you can do that. It's not very professional of her to discuss her (probably very incorrect) perception of your character to other staff.
Has your friend got all the details right - has the HV actually said these things to her or has she overheard the HV talking to other staff? If that's the case she might not have heard all the details or have her facts correct.

NO, I don't want to see HV particularly, but as dd is so diddy she still has to have her jabs with her, and routine checks. To change would mean an hour round trip to the next army base, which I could do, but I would have to explain why I was unwilling to have her. The friend said the remarks were made to her personally.

Bolox to your friend i think.....she could be making it up.

What a cow of a friend to A) tell you something so horrid and possibly untrue
&
B) for trying to drop her coleague in it.

Cow friend

Unprofessional all round.

There is naff all you can do.

I think it your friend who has acted unprofessionally. If you friend is a clleague of your HV your HV has probably done nothing wrong, (though I don't know what position your feiend holds, if she is an admin person she would have access to yournotes anyway, if she is the cleanre its a different matter.

Your friend has totally breached confidentiality.

thanks guys. Got to go - baby squawks!!!!!

Ah, just seen your friend is a nurse, in which case, I am sorry, you may not agree with her opinion (of course) but the HV has done nothing wrong professionally.

yes firend silly to dish
i htink you rpobaly are a pita

if its your htird kid hwo the hell do you KNOW hte hv anwyay

is there any way of raising it directly with the HV without dropping your friend in it - pretending someone else overheard the HV's conversation? Because if so, I'd approach the HV calmly and say 'I gather you have been very rude about me. I don't appreciate it and I'd rather you stopped.' And then walk away.

Cod, why do people say you are kind?

hehe
well you are monaing on abotu her

Edam, I like your idea. Cod, because here HV comes to your house when you get posted to the area, and does the immunisations rather than the nurse.

You say moaning, I say canvassing for opinion.