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Original poster

Why do some MNers seem unable to believe that some women WANT to stay at home with their children?

31 replies

lyrabelacqua · 21/05/2007 20:51

I've seen so many posts lately going on about how women are forced to take months/years out of their careers and therefore find it harder to break the glass ceiling etc, how we should all be back a our desks within minutes of giving birth, how we should have the option of giving away our maternity leave to another relative so we can go back to work quicker.
I for one actually chose to put my career on hold. I work one day a week and am very happy with that arrangement because i get to spend as much time as possible with my boys while they're little but keep my career ticking over so i can resume it properly when they are both at school full time.
There must be others like me who think spending time with their children is more important than their career.
I'd love to hear some positive SAHM stories. What's the best thing about it?

OP posts:
Bouquetsofdynomite · 21/05/2007 20:57

Yes but your thread title isn't asking for positive WAHM stories is it? It's picking a fight with those MNers.

kate100 · 21/05/2007 20:57

Getting to go and run around with the children and the puppy in the woods at the drop of a hat because it was sunny, DH was very

Bouquetsofdynomite · 21/05/2007 20:58

Oops meant SAHM stories

Sparkler1 · 21/05/2007 21:00

I took 7.5 years off work to bring up my two daughters. I wouldn't have changed it for the world. It wasn't easy - and I'll admit there were times when I screamed "get me out of here and give me something more than screaming kids, housework and dirty nappies etc". Now my dd's are both full time at school I'm working part time, enjoying it and occasionally getting days where I wish I was back at home with them as babies again. I had wonderful times with them and would have hated it if I had missed their different milestones and a childminder/relative etc would have witnessed them instead of me.

Original poster
lyrabelacqua · 21/05/2007 21:01

Bouquet, I presumed most people would read past the thread title. I don't want to pick a fight, just to see something positive written about SAHM for a change.

OP posts:
Bouquetsofdynomite · 21/05/2007 21:05

Was just having a stir given all the threads about freedom of opinion about tonight .
Am a happy SAHM myself (with a dd called Lyra funnily enough) being a natural idler - I do not like to rush. Not having to get myself to work allows our family life to potter along the way we like it.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 21/05/2007 21:07

ive said this before and i'll say it again.
it's all i ever wanted to do, how pants am i?!

LadyOfTheFlowers · 21/05/2007 21:08

i gave up a career in a bank as a manager.
best thing i ever did, second to actuallu having my kids of course!

Chirpygirl · 21/05/2007 21:14

I have taken a 5 year career break from my job to raise DD and the inside baby, whenever it feels like coming out.
I am lucky to have a job which allows me to do this but was always planning on giving up work and becoming a childminder once I got pregnant, am actually halfway there but have put a hold on it until the next one is born!

My mum worked from home and was always there so I wanted to do the same.

beeba · 21/05/2007 21:15

I love being a SAHM and I'd say that one of the best thins about it is that if dd has been up all night i don't have to worry about getting up in the morning and i can go back to bed when she does! Obviously that amongst not missing anything, being able to see her develop and just generally have lots of fun!

bizziebee · 21/05/2007 21:17

I thought i would be desparate to get back to work after having dd. Now I am back at work - and wish I was at home.

mistressmiggins · 21/05/2007 21:18

I would love to be a SAHM

my DD (nrly 3) and I had this discussion tonight at tea. I told her that I would love to be at home every day with DD & DS BUT I cant.
I work PT and my H left 18 mths ago so I am glad I have the job otherwise I dont know what I would be doing now moneywise....

I explained to DD that in 2 yrs time she has to go to school full time so going to nursery 3 days a week breaks her in.

she accepted it.
I would love to be SAHM but my H thought i was lazy just working 3 days so not working at all was never on the cards

TwoIfBySea · 21/05/2007 22:10

The best thing is that I feel I have done something important in the lives of my dts. (Before the hysterics that is not to say WOHM don't do anything important.)

I am glad I took the time out to enjoy their baby/toddler/little boy stages and wouldn't swap it for any dream job. This has been my dream job.

Dts1 said the other day how "Daddy gets pennies to buy us toys and mummy plays with us and makes us lovely dinners."

I felt so warm inside it was lovely.

Makes more of an impression than some non descript job doing nothing of any relevance.

Kevlarhead · 22/05/2007 00:46

I spent today in an office directly under a flourescent light, surrounded by idiots, watching the MS Windows clock tick away the minutes of my life and pondering the fact that while the company's share price has risen by 25% in the last three months, I've been there a year and (when you factor in inflation) I'm getting paid less than when I started.

Being a SAHD sounds pretty attractive right now...

CustardosFAG · 22/05/2007 01:08

i started work a few months after my son was born (i was 16 at the time ) i was a lone parent so i needed to work to pay rent etc i hated being away from my baby and missing out on most of his firsts

giggle
word
step
poo on potty

when he was 3 i met my partner 3 months later i was pregnant i gave up work it was a decision me and dp made together we both wanted our children to be brought up by us not someone else ive had two dd's since then and yes there are times i could strange them or myself but i wouldnt go back to work yet not even if i was offered a million pounds maybe that would make me lol but you get my point

CustardosFAG · 22/05/2007 01:10

i also say each to their as each person as different circumstances i have nothing against working mums

CustardosFAG · 22/05/2007 01:10

i also say each to their own as each person as different circumstances i have nothing against working mums

fortyplus · 22/05/2007 01:16

Conversation between my 2 when they were roughly 4 & 6...

'Daddy has an important job...'

'Yes, but Mummy has and important job, too'

'Yes - Daddy earns the money - Mummy spends it!'

MrsWho · 22/05/2007 20:54

mistressmiggins- me too

seamonster · 22/05/2007 21:03

I always wanted to be a SAHM too! Have never admitted it to any one EVER. Of course the idling the day away, getting up when you want to is a no-go when school comes but the holidays are all the more special for that. Even if I do feel like tearing my hair out 1/2 way through.... I will go back to work when me and no4 are good and ready.

Califrau · 22/05/2007 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

amicissima · 22/05/2007 21:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QueenofBleach · 22/05/2007 21:23

Love being a stay at home mum who renst out rroms to pay bills. Most afternoons in summer we are on the beach or at Grndmas pool or in garden. In winter walks logs fires and playing.

Twinklemegan · 22/05/2007 21:26

I always wanted to be a SAHM, sadly it wasn't to be and I'm a WOHM. It's not as bad as I thought as I do like my job and I manage to separate the two in my head fairly successfully, but I'm definitely a SAHM at heart.

blackandwhitecat · 22/05/2007 21:39

Just out of interest exactly who finds it hard to believe that some women want to stay at home with their children? Who has said we should all be back at our desks within minutes of giving birth?

Also wanted to point out that just because many mothers work outside the home this doesn't mean that they don't or can't spend days at the beach with their kids, run around in the woods and be their for their children's firsts. And you know what WOHMs do have maternity leave (which means they get to spend up to a year with their new baby whilst being paid for it).

After maternity leave I went back to work for 3 days a week and now my kids are in school I work school hours. As a teacher I get 13 weeks holiday a year which coincide give or take a day or two with my kids' schools (when they have a holiday and I don't they come to work with me). Now my kids are in school there is not one thing I can't do for my kids that a SAHM could do and no time that I am not with them when they are not in school. I didn't miss any of my kids firsts. Me and dp potty trained them. I breastfed dd1 for 6 months and dd2 for 13 months (I continued breastfeeding dd2 whilst working). I appreciate teaching is more flexible than a lot of jobs but please don't make assumptions that WOHMs are automatically missing out on family life. There are very few WOHMs who run back to work after the birth of their babies and then leave them all day every day. As my dp is also a teacher he has been there for the kids almost as much as I have. He picks them up from school when I can't. HE plays with them as much as I do and we share household tasks. SO in our house it's understood by the kids that both mummy and daddy work and look after them and sort out the house almost equally. In our family, dp is just as important as I am to our kids and not just as a breadwinner but as a dad who is physically able to look after them.