Am very concerned about my neighbour's kids.

[concernedneighbour]

Am a regular but have changed my name. Today one of my neighbours kids came to our door, she was in tears. We let her in and she was covered in handmarks all over her arms, her mum had slapped her so hard there was visable hand marks. She kicked her out without a key and coat and told her to never come home. This isn't the first time this has happened. Social services are involved with the family but don't seem to see what is happening. I really want to report this, but the mum will know its us as we are the only ones that her daughter comes to see in the street.

yes she should be in school, but has hardly been in school for the past few months. SS and EWO are all involved with this family.

I don't think you have a choice about reporting what you saw.
If SS are already involved in this family then they may be able to look into it without mentioning yopur report specifically.

Yes, but see my earlier post. The school are aware of the situation. The OP can ask the school to get involved.

that is true, I will report it.

Call SS. I do appreciate the difficulty but by chucking her child out in the street she can hardly expect her actions to be ignored. A child in tears stuck out on the doorstep in a residential street is not going to be ignored - or I'd hope not anyway.

Please act.

in that case it shouldnt be too hard to get someone to listen! how many children end up in a&e or die each year because of abuse? and how many neighbours say that they heard things and suspected but didnt want to get involved.

sorry if i seem harsh but this is a no-brainer!

Sounds like the poor girl is really slipping through the net if SS and EWO are already involved. Maybe your report of the marks on her body could make a real difference.

Agree with edam. They could have lots suspicions but no actual evidence - that happens in my team all too often and our hands are tied. PLEASE call SS

Do you worry that calling ss will get the child into trouble? Are you on speaking terms with the mother? if so could you offer to look after her dd for an hour, try to say it with no judgement in your voice - that her daughter came round this morning and you are happy to have her round, but just wanted to check it was ok with her? it might help.
The idea is 'being the change you want to see in the world' (Gandhi). this would depend on whether you are able to spend a little time with the daughter or other children, so it gets their needs met by giving them time and space away from the mother. the mother gets a rest from the children, which may hopefully mean she gets to calm down and she sees a good role model (you) to influence her behaviour.
not ideal as it means you are carrying some of the burden,
why was her daughter not at school?

Yes - SS can help her with respite if that is the issue. You can't make those judgements there's too much at stake.

Going back to your reasons for not phoning, what's the worst this mother could do? Do you have plenty of other people living in your street that would support you?

am on speaking term with the family, the 14 year comes round quite a bit, the younger ones pop round and play with my kids. I am concerned because we got involved with a family before and were run out of the street.. we had to move for our safety

It was clearly a cry for help from the girl. I grew up with an alcoholic mother who was also a manic depressive although I suffered awful neglect I really wish my mother had been able to get some sort of support and help as obviously she was struggling. Unfortunately she passed away due to her drinking and never got that help. By making a call you could be helping to sort out not only any mistreatment of the children but also helping the mother. She may not thank you for it in the short term but hopefully some years down the line it will make a difference? My story is an extreme example, but what if?

no, I don't want to go into the reasons, but we had to be to moved, which is why I am worried about reporting this. I know someone who works with SS and she has been here when the girl has been here and heard what happens, she did report that info.

How unfortunate that you should be put in this position twice. Have you phoned yet? Go and do it now and come back to us.

Don't feel forced to do anything.

Sorry guys I see the serious of the situation but if the op has been moved once because of a similar experience I can see why she is hesitant to do so again.

(mellowma) xx

Really feel for you given your previous experience. But I'm afraid you really don't have a choice. You saw the marks.

I really agree.
She came to you in distress, as an adult she feels she can trust and feel safe with. This is a clear cry for help, and you will be failing her to not report it.
Social services rely on testimony from people external to the family sometimes, as sadly they cannot always trut the childs word.

If they do or do not find out it was you who reported it is irrelevant.

moodyma - I agree

speccy - they are clearly not 'normal' - surely that is the point.