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Original poster

Why do people act shocked 'cos I want my DD and DS to share a room?

27 replies

Twiglett · 06/08/2004 23:15

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OP posts:
MummyToSteven · 06/08/2004 23:17

think people are being a bit precious - many children in the world would think themselves very fortunate to have only 2 in a room. Until puberty can't see any objections personally.

mieow · 06/08/2004 23:22

My son is 6 and shares a room with his 4 year old sister. He did have his own room but wanted to share with his sister so I moved DD2 into the box room and he shares with his sister now. I have no problem with it and noone I have spoken to has either. I have thought about putting DD2 back into the room and moving DS out into his own room but he really doesn't want his own room.

expatkat · 06/08/2004 23:24

I can't believe people are shocked! It sounds like such a sensible thing to do. Why do people always seem to have an opinion about things that don't concern them. . .

Or maybe they're shocked that you actually have the SPACE for each to have his/her own room, but you're "cramming" them into 1 room. Maybe that's the source of surprise, not the gender thing (?) Don't know how/why anyone could object. . .

Beetroot · 06/08/2004 23:24

This reply has been deleted

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unicorn · 06/08/2004 23:53

I don't think there's any problem when they are this little- but you may be surprised - in a few years your ds may grow up quite a bit..
A friend of mine has a ds who is now 9- and moved him last year from the room with his younger sister.
His conversations and his play was developing at a different rate from his little sister.

So nice as it maybe now- I think you just have to be prepared for their differing development rates- and yes I think gender does come into it..

tinytoes · 06/08/2004 23:58

someone told me that it was illegal after a certain age
id be suprised if this were true but it could be

MummyToSteven · 07/08/2004 00:00

i think there has been a thread on this - it isn't illegal, but general guidance for council houses is that siblings over 12 (?) of different sexes shouldn't have to share a room

MeanBean · 07/08/2004 11:21

Because we live in England where everyone is mad.

Sorry, not constructive, but honestly, what is wrong with people? Until puberty, it's not an issue unless you have a seriously dysfunctional family - so unless people are trying to imply that your family is seriously dysfunctional, they should get over it!

Tommy · 07/08/2004 11:35

I shared with my 2 brothers and had a great laugh most of the time until puberty (older brother had moved out by then)when my little brother used to find my "feminine hygiene" stuff and play with them - that's when I got shirty and told Mum I wanted a room of my own!
It's not wrong at all - if you think about it, it's only in the last generation or so that people have had only 2 children (on average) and have been lucky enough to have houses that had enough bedrooms for everyone to have one each. I'm one of 6 and we certainly didn't have a 7 bedroomed house!

WideWebWitch · 07/08/2004 11:38

Well quite MeanBean. Ignore them Twiglett. Or tell them to fuck off...

katierocket · 07/08/2004 11:47

I used to share with my sister and I loved it.
I think it's nice. Don't know why people would be shocked

twogorgeousboys · 07/08/2004 11:52

I think its a fab idea if he wants to, and when he's older and wants his own space, then he can have that too! Why on earth are people shocked ?
Tell 'em to bog off.

wilbur · 07/08/2004 11:56

Ds and dd currently share a room and they love it. We're about to move to a place where they could have a room each, but I bet ds demands that dd stay with him, for the time being anyway. Also, my best friend shared with her younger bro until she was about 16 and her older bro left home - they just had a shelf unit demarking their "space" and it worked fine.

Angeliz · 07/08/2004 12:44

I don't know what i'm having , but whatever sex the new baby is it's going in dd's room when it's 6 months or so. DD can't wait (although we'll see whn it's born), and i can't see the problem.
We have a spare room but i think it's a part of childhood sharing a room and whispering while your mam shouts from downstairs that you'd better be asleep!

posyhairdresser · 07/08/2004 13:43

It's unfashionable to share - reflective of the old fashioned view that the ideal is for each child to have their own room to proove you can afford a big enough house for this.

IMO most children are happier sharing - so if yours are, you go for it!

hovely · 07/08/2004 14:20

i've heard that an older sibling can be comforted by the younger's presence and vv, eg if nightmares are starting with a 3yr old. As soon as 6mo Ds sleeps better and longer at night he will go in with Dd, then later they can have a room each.

hatter · 07/08/2004 18:05

not a gender difference in our case but dd1 and 2 share - and not out of neccesity. I can't imagine them not doing. I know someone whose two boys shared out of neccesity and when they moved to a bigger house and were told they could have a room each - they rejected it. I think it can provide a real solid foundation for a close friendship. And the bonus is that you get an extra room to do what you like with. As for the idea of gender making a difference pre-puberty - that's the biggest load of tosh and, tbh, pretty offensive. What on earth are people thinking? they're children ffs. My friend's twins of different sex shared a cot for six months - would they have a problem with that? If I were you, next time someone seems shocked I'd actually ask them why. Back them into a corner and make them realise how ridiculous they're being.

hercules · 07/08/2004 18:07

So pleased to read this thread. DD is 10 months and in with us and ds is nearly 9. We have a 2 bed house and were stressing what to do. Why we were stressing I dont know and this thread has made me realise there isnt actually a reason why they cant share!

Hulababy · 07/08/2004 21:51

I was 10yo when my sister was born and then I had to share. Have to say that I really wasn't impressed at all once I got to be about 11 or 12 - I really wanted my own space and was very envious of my brother who had his own room But we had no choice - so nothing could be done about it.

When both are little I can't see any problem at all and can see benefits of it - although I'd be concerned they'd keep each other awake "chatting".

Wallace · 07/08/2004 21:54

Ds (5) and dd (3) share as we only have a two bedroom house. We were chatting about if we had a three bedroom house they could have a room each, but they both said they would like to share, and then they said me and dh could have a room each
I think if we did have a third bedroom it would be a playroom.

SofiaAmes · 07/08/2004 22:14

We have a 6 bedroom house and there is only us and the 2 children (dd 1.5 and ds 3.5). At the moment the kids each have their own room, but we are seriously considering putting them in a room together when we take dd out of her cot. They enjoy sleeping in the same room, so why not. I'm sure the day will come when they want their own rooms. Why worry about it before then. And who cares what anyone else thinks.

HiddenSpirit · 08/08/2004 11:10

Our 3 (2 x DS & 1 x DD) share a bedroom, but this isn't through choice as we only have a 2 bedroom flat. When we eventually get a 3 bed house then 2 DS's will share and DD will have a room of her own as night time can be a nightmare with DS1 & DD having a carry on and messing about.

But if you & your kids are happy for them to share then tell the shocked people to bog off and get a life

HiddenSpirit · 08/08/2004 11:10

Sofia, don't suppose you'd consider a swap?

Tortington · 08/08/2004 17:24

my girl boy twins sleep in the same bed. boy gets up in the middle of night and goes to his own room which he shares with his older brother. they dont mind so am not bothered.

runragged · 08/08/2004 17:49

I really wanted dd(4) and ds(3) to share as I thought that they would love it. My big plan was to then turn the third small bedroom into a play room. However it never happened as they are FAR TOO NAUGHTY at night! They are forever getting into trouble and if they shared they would never sleep.

Last year dd let ds out of his room (stairgate on door) opened stairgate and they both went down stairs and raided the freezer! The only reason we knew about it was because they aren't that bright and brought dh and I a choc ice in bed! (early night no actually exhaustion unfortunately). Complete monkeys when they get together!