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Original poster

What was the single most useful piece of advice you had when you had your first baby?

48 replies

Ghosty · 25/07/2004 23:00

I was talking about this to my coffee group the other day ....
Some of us are on our 2nd baby, some on 3rd, some on 1st and one is on her 6th!!!!
We were talking about what it is like to have a new baby for the first time and discussing advice that we were given ...
For me the one and only really good piece of advice that anyone ever gave me and IMO should be given to EVERY pregnant mum is ...........

NO NEWBORN CAN BE EXPECTED TO BE AWAKE FOR LONGER THAN AN HOUR TO AN HOUR AND A HALF BEFORE GETTING OVER TIRED AND CRYING!

It wasn't until DS was 8 weeks old when someone told me this ... and all of a sudden it all began to make sense to me ...

Why isn't this told to everyone before they leave the hospital?

What is the most useful thing anyone ever told you??

OP posts:
littlemissbossy · 25/07/2004 23:02

I was told not to worry, that not everything comes naturally and more importantly, what doesn't come naturally you'll pick up as you go along. Best advice ever and from my Mum

sobernow · 25/07/2004 23:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SofiaAmes · 25/07/2004 23:31

When bfing, make sure the babies mouth covers the whole areola (said by my cousin who had terribly cracked bleeding nipples with first child).

SofiaAmes · 25/07/2004 23:31

Make that baby's.

libb · 25/07/2004 23:36

Just check the threes. Are they fed? are they winded? are they clean? - I think this tends to apply to very little ones though, mine is 10 weeks and already asserting his rights!

Tortington · 26/07/2004 00:06

the most useful advice was "don't have another"

littlemissbossy · 26/07/2004 00:10

lol at custardo again !! (laughed at your comment on another thread about a minute ago)

mummytojames · 26/07/2004 01:01

the best advice i was ever given was by my mother she said sleep when the baby sleeps because it dont last long before your dying on your feet
and the second best piece of advice i had was never feel ashamed to ask for help even if its only someone looking after the baby for a hour while you catch up on some sleep because were only human

Hulababy · 26/07/2004 09:51

Both my mum and my MIL advised me to just enjoy being with DD whilst she was little. That the housework and other stuff would wait, but DD wouldn't and would grow up quicker than I knew. So I have tried to do that right from the start. My days off work are mine and DD's day, not houseowrk or school work days. And it is true. I still can't believe she is 2 already.

enid · 26/07/2004 09:54

Ghosty, I agree with your piece of advice, I had no idea that that babies cried out of tiredness! Very good advice. Also Hulababy's - ENJOY them!

And remember that everything passes, and all difficult stages are just a phase....

saintshar · 26/07/2004 09:58

Routine - i wish someone had told me that when i had my first.
I would say, decide on a routine, especially at bed time, and try your best to stick to it.

woodpops · 26/07/2004 09:59

Relax and enjoy. Try not to get flustered and just take it all in your stride. THat way you'll have a much more contented little baby!!!

Tex111 · 26/07/2004 10:00

Someone told me to treat myself to some new clothes just after the birth but make sure that anything I bought was comfortable enough to sleep in and didn't wrinkle too much. I bought some trendy tracky bottoms and colourful T-shirts, which made me feel good to have new clothes that actually fit me. In the first few weeks it also meant that I could sleep in them but still get up and go out without all the trials of trying to get dressed. Sounds simple but I'm sure I never would've thought of it on my own.

I also had a wonderful HV who said to read all the baby books I wanted to and then just chuck them out of the window. 'No one knows your baby as well as you do, especially not some book.' That was great advice for me.

posyhairdresser · 26/07/2004 10:01

Enjoy it while it lasts!

Twiglett · 26/07/2004 10:20

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StickyNote · 26/07/2004 10:20

Pick a time for bath, feed and bed and stick to it. When everything else is in complete chaos, you at least have one fixed point in your day (plus you get to have an evening).

Twiglett · 26/07/2004 10:20

message withdrawn

xoz · 26/07/2004 10:35

Same as Twiglett
NEVER LISTEN TO UNSOLICITED ADVICE
There's no need to be rude about but I always just smiled and thanked them for the advice and said I would think about it, then promptly went off and did what I thought was best for my dd's

Welshmum · 26/07/2004 10:36

'Never stand up when you can sit down, never sit down if you can lie down, never just lie down if it's possible to sleep.' (probably should have stopped this by now)
'If they're too cold they wake up, if they're too hot they die'(in relation to cot death anxiety)
It's wierd, my sister's just had her first and I'm trotting them all out like I'm a veteran.

sandyballs · 26/07/2004 11:01

"Remember it is just a phase"

Beetroot · 26/07/2004 11:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Nimme · 26/07/2004 11:14

Put the baby down in their cot awake - let them settle themselves. I wish I had listened (took me months to get that right).

From Best Friend's Guide to Motherhood - stop holding your breath, this is not a phase, this is your new life.

prufrock · 26/07/2004 11:49

Second most useful thing I was told was "buy Gina Fords Contented little baby book"

Most useful thing was "don't worry if your baby doesn't do exactly what she says"

wellsie · 26/07/2004 12:47
  1. Put baby down awake.
  2. Stick to a bedtime routine (religiously!)
  3. Go for a walk once a day (this helped enormously)
  4. If your not happy breast feeding anymore then STOP!
  5. If in doubt, call your Mum (not the HV!)

If I had to give advice to anyone now I would tell them to get online and sign up to Mumsnet - the best advice I've been given has been from you guys!

Pes · 26/07/2004 12:59

probably to accept any offers of help....and ignore the dusting

I like Texx111's advice about new clothes - I spent about 5 weeks in a pair of my dads old tracky pants....mmmm attractive!!!