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Original poster

What was the single most useful piece of advice you had when you had your first baby?

48 replies

Ghosty · 25/07/2004 23:00

I was talking about this to my coffee group the other day ....
Some of us are on our 2nd baby, some on 3rd, some on 1st and one is on her 6th!!!!
We were talking about what it is like to have a new baby for the first time and discussing advice that we were given ...
For me the one and only really good piece of advice that anyone ever gave me and IMO should be given to EVERY pregnant mum is ...........

NO NEWBORN CAN BE EXPECTED TO BE AWAKE FOR LONGER THAN AN HOUR TO AN HOUR AND A HALF BEFORE GETTING OVER TIRED AND CRYING!

It wasn't until DS was 8 weeks old when someone told me this ... and all of a sudden it all began to make sense to me ...

Why isn't this told to everyone before they leave the hospital?

What is the most useful thing anyone ever told you??

OP posts:
JanZ · 26/07/2004 13:07

Told to me a few times in the supermarket by little old ladies: Appreciate them while they are tiny - it goes so quickly. You only learn that one too late ... unless you have another one

Another few bits of advice I found useful:

Get a cordless phone and/or answering machine. The phone will always ring just as you've got baby latched on.

Have a few dishes prepared in advance in the freezer.

Get yourself dressed by 10am - makes you feel much better!

acnebride · 26/07/2004 14:37

My grandmother's advice - passed on my all my aunts individually - 'Urine is sterile'

bunnyrabbit · 26/07/2004 14:45

Yes to everything on here.

Sleep when baby sleeps. Best advice ever!! I didn't 'cos I felt so guilty about not doing stuff. Silly bunny!! Regret this bigtime now.

And the ever popular babies cry. Sometimes they just cry 'cos that's their only way of cummunicating and there's nothing you can do except cuddle them.

BR

Linnet · 26/07/2004 22:58

I agree with most of the things written here already. And I've come to the conclusion that when I had my first daughter nobody told me anything except sleep when baby sleeps. The rest I figured out as I went along.

The most brilliant piece of advice that I've been given this time around was in relation to wind. When dd2 was born 9 weeks ago I asked the midwife in the hospital about giving her Infacol since her sister suffered terrible wind and colic and life was pretty stressful for a good few weeks.

The midwife said to me you'll know when she's windy as the skin around her lips will go white. And do you know it's TRUE! I just have to look at dd2 to know that she has wind and needs a burp. I mentioned it to the midwife who came out to the house and she said oh yes that piece of advice is good. I refrained from asking her why SHE didn't tell me this when dd1 was born 6 years previously and I was climbing the walls unable to settle the baby.

Also I didn't know the first time around that babies get tired after being awake for an hour to an hour and a half, I agree that every mother should be told this before leaving hospital.

Thomcat · 26/07/2004 23:21

Mine was more about the birth but so glad someone told me:

  • it feels as if thy are coming out of your arse!
  • the last bit burns and stings
  • it's never as bad as you think it';s going to be

I felt totally prepared with those bits of info and ready to face labour.

As for advice once baby was here, none really. I worried about how it would all work and couldn't get my head round how it would all work. The best thing I sussed out was to keep a bag of things packed for going out with a new born so that leaving the house with her was never a problem and never stressful and I soon realised that she she would and indeed was just fitting into our lives so easily that I couldn't imagine or rememebr what life was like without her.

The best bit of advice i could offer is really just to say, keep living your life, don't give up your indentity and that going out with a new born is so easy compared to goping out with a 2 year old, so keep up the social life as much as you can early on, just take them with you.

That and those new born early days are over so quickly, make them count.

Jennisaurus · 26/07/2004 23:43

My best friend told me to enjoy her as a newborn because it passes so quickly. Of course I probably didn't as much as I could of, but I always remembered that when she was up in the middle of the night with me!

(also not to save any clothes because she would grow out of them before a special ocassion arrived!)

almost40 · 27/07/2004 02:42

Ok, no one actually gave me this advice, but I give it to all new mums:

  1. Take lots of pictures at every stage, because it does go so quickly - as many have said here - and after they're big, the only thing to remind you of how adorable and small they were are pictures.

  2. Similar to the fab advice about newbies getting sleepy every hour or so, everything can be done if the timing is right and in intervals. e.g., you can go shopping right after they are fed and changed, you can take a walk right after they are fed and changed, you can meet a friend for lunch right after they are fed and changed.

  3. All food and liquids are microwavable for 15 seconds. Don't feel guilty about using the microwave for 15 seconds - it will make your life much easier. Ok, I'll run and hide after this one.

Original poster
Ghosty · 27/07/2004 02:47

Linnet ... yes! My mum (mother of 4 and a midwife) told me that about the white around the mouth ... I agree, such a brilliant thing to know!!

OP posts:
Doody · 27/07/2004 13:12

Be calm, enjoy the experience and talk about how you feel do not bottle it up. Sometimes you can feel very alone where in reality every new Mum is feeling the same.

louloubelle · 27/07/2004 14:20

I was told that "sleep begets sleep", ie the more they have during the day, the more settled they will be at night. I have been very lucky with a breastfed baby who has slept through the night from 5 weeks (7 months now), and truely believe that putting her down 3 times a day for a nap has helped (along with a huge dose of luck!) Also, I agree that always having a bag packed with nappies and wipes ready to pick up on your way out makes life a lot less stressful.

hunmummy · 27/07/2004 14:22

One of the best advice I was given was to get at least 30 muslins!
I use them for wiping my DS's mouth, when burping, for baby-spills, instead a bib etc.

bundle · 27/07/2004 14:24

put a new nappy under the old one before you even peek inside (and wipe, roll up the old one and pull it out from under baby, revealing new nappy underneath), it's a good way of catching those explosive nappies early on and catches any surprise wees before they require a full clothes change.

mckenzie · 27/07/2004 14:50

in those first few days from hospital, dont open the front door to anyone who isn't either
a)returning your laundry that they did for you yesterday
b)carrying a huge Shepherds Pie or Lasagna
c)bringing in your Sainsbury's food shopping

and I had this up on my notice baord for about 12 months..
"you have to have some bad days so that you can recognise the good ones".

luckymum · 27/07/2004 15:14

........and anyone who does visit is perfectly capable of making their own cup of tea (and one for you), washing up anything in the sink and keeping an eye on baby while you have a bath......hopefully whilst you're in the bath they might also do you the ironing and hoover up

kittyb · 27/07/2004 15:16

when they cry they are not trying to get at you. I was told this when I was pregnant and thought it was really stupid, but the number of times it came back to me when I was so tired and ds was going MENTAL when getting nappy changed. I would take a deep breath and think "he's not trying to get at me".

Pagan · 27/07/2004 15:22

Mine was to keep the labels on all the clothes you get as pressies until the very moment you are about to use them. That way you can take back some and exchange for bigger sizes or other things. Believe me they grow so quickly there is no way the baby will be able to wear everything unless it has Diana Ross tendencies.

It may sound a little harsh, but that's the reality and as a result DD is almost a year old and I've still not had to spend anything on clothes.

Northerner · 27/07/2004 15:30

My Mum embroidered me a cushion saying this:

Settle down cobwebs
Dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep

highlander · 27/07/2004 18:37

what is a 'muslin'? Can't I just buy a flannel sheet and chop it up into baby-sized puke catchers? (seriously)

hana · 27/07/2004 19:09

highlander, yes of course - I've never bought any muslins.....dd was never very pukey. I did buy some plain white flannel, sew up the sides and used that every now and then when feeding her instead.

Lowryn · 27/07/2004 19:21

Ahh no, muslins are fantastic. I am going to write a book 101 things to do with a muslin! Apart from the obvious, they soak up everything spilt on the carpet excellent for potty training etc, make decent dusters, have been tied into funky hats in the summer (sad, but practical)and make good glass polishers...I need to get a life...desperately

vict17 · 27/07/2004 20:50

Just read this in the new Tony Parsons novel which sums it up nicely for me: (a new mum to her sister) "I was anti-bottle feeding. I was anti-dummy. I was anti-running to the baby every times she cries. Then I had one and you know what changed? Everything. The good intentions, the baby books all went out the window. It's all bullsh*t. the lot of it. You just have to get through it. You just have to survive". Hope Tony doesn't mind me quoting him for Mumsnet

jane313 · 27/07/2004 21:07

The best advice was from my friend with 4 kids who said "when they cry, feed them"

Twiglett · 28/07/2004 10:07

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