MIL and FIL (dh's parents as opposed to ex DH's parents, who I talk about quite a bit!) live in Devon.
MIL has just been into hospital because she had a fall and we've just been told that it's unlikely she'll walk again FIL was told that he could more or less give up his life right now - he is very active, has sheep, does gardening for people, is out and about most days while MIL is usually in on her own - and he has been heartbroken at this news. (for all sorts of reasons, not just so he can get out and about!)
They have dh who is FIL's only child. MIL has a son (so dh's half brother) from a previous marriage. There is no other family. Half brother lives near PIL but isn't any help and doesn't see them often. My reason for explaining this is that their finances are organised thus:
House in MILS name, she owns it
Cash in FILS name, it's his
They are married. I've said to dh "are you sure?" and he says yes.
Their wills state:
FIL: Everything goes to dh, nothing to MIL. This is because FIL doesn't want his stepson, dh's half brother to get anything and if he leaves it to MIL she would then in turn leave it split between DH/her other child.
MIL: half to dh, half to other child.
FIL is keen to move to be nearer us. We have asked them if they want to move in with is but only if we can find a house with a) an annexe for them and b) a small paddock for FILS sheep. The idea is that they have a smaller living space but it's made up for by having a bit of land for FILS sheep. That way
- he doesn't have to give his life up as he can keep his sheep but be within home phone range of MIL. Wherever they live MIL will need some care. There is talk of the main house being sold to pay for that (they will get at least £4-500k for it)
- We can help, our cleaner can clean their house, we can shop online for them, can cook for them sometimes
- they get to see dd who is FILs only grandchild
- We get the benefit of FILS cash as he would pay 50% of the value of the house in cash and we would get a mortgage for the other half. We will get a substantially bigger house than we could afford alone as a result of this (although I would be quite happy to get our own house too, we'll get something nice if we buy alone too although it would take longer as we don't have a deposit)
So, what are the pitfalls? I know we will have to agree up front what the deal is with coming into each others houses and the amount of help we can give them and stuff but I'm ok with that. We both work ft oth and we have 2 children so there's a limit to the amount of time we have but at least we'll be able to look after MIL if FIL wants to go out alone and at least they'll see dd and at least we can help get them other help iyswim, if they need it.
Has anyone done this? How did it work? Is there a huge inheritance tax problem here? We can't afford for our house to be sold to pay for care so how can we be sure that won't happen? We only talked about it yesterday and in theory it's all a good idea if a bit scary. If FIL dies first we will be solely responsible for MIL but we know that. It's unlikely though, he's fit and active and younger but you never know.
Wise words welcomed. TIA. Sorry it's so long.