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Original poster

Table Manners .. important?

80 replies

Twiglett · 27/03/2007 10:22

Do you teach your children

to use cutlery correctly
to chew with their mouths closed
to sit properly at the table
to not talk until their mouths are empty

if you don't, why not?

OP posts:
CadburyCremeSquonk · 27/03/2007 10:25

yes
yes
yes
yes

JackieNo · 27/03/2007 10:25

Yes, I do. They don't always do it, but I hope they'll learn how they're supposed to be behaving - how are they supposed to know what good manners are if I don't both show them, and tell them. DH and I do also tell each other off for doing things we'd tell them off for, to show that adults also have to have good manners.

Nbg · 27/03/2007 10:28

Yes we do. Its just common manners IMO.

Dd doesnt do it all just yet but she is only 3.

Enid · 27/03/2007 10:29

my kids were a bit shite this weekend when staying with friends

so now we are Going Back To Basics

we have let it all slide since arrival of dd3

PenelopePitstops · 27/03/2007 10:34

yes
yes
yes
yes

its basic manners and makes you look like a tramp when eating in public if you dont do these things when older. and despite everyones best efforts people will look down on you for this

beckybrastraps · 27/03/2007 10:35

I do.

But I have an unfortunate tendency to rest my elbows on the table, which dh (and MIL) finds reprehensible

frenchleave · 27/03/2007 10:41

Yes to all, but it's not easy! Even at 9 and 7 I still have to remind them daily. One is very prim with her cutlery but eats with her mouth open, the other chews quietly but prefers her fingers to her knife, and both are prone to leaping up without warning.

Teaching good manners (table or otherwise) is doing them a favour, though I remember how annoying it is to be nagged

Toots · 13/04/2007 13:46

Wanted to revive this threat as this is major flashpoint for me with dd1 who's five. She eats like a starving caveman -she was knawing on a massive handful of noodles last night, and I don't even think she was particularly hungry. We are going to be eating out lunch and evenings in Crete at half-term and really want to have it happily improved by then.

Support/tips/advice PLEASE as I am getting it out of proportion (for which read 'turning into unuseful banshee' about it)

mumblechum · 13/04/2007 13:58

Invite an older child for tea (check they have impeccable manners first) and praise that child constantly for their lovely manners.

I personally hate bad table manners in children. Luckily my ds's best friend had good manners drummed into him practically from babyhood so my ds just copied him.

Can anyone now advise me on how to stop my dh (45) licking his plate? He insists I should consider it a compliment to my cooking

Toots · 13/04/2007 14:02

Ooh yes. Good idea Mumblechum.

custy · 13/04/2007 14:10

yes

well not to spit their food everywhere but i dont get anal about eating and talking as i love the family interaction

what is 'sit properly?'

my kids sit at the table and eat - is it more complicated than that?

i love that table time. that bisto family moment every evening.

its so important to me i can't tell you - its like the epitomy of family a place where we talk, laugh, cry and occasionally shout, talk about our day and compare notes. where my children learn to say " and how was your day mummy?" (saying 'mummy' at 14 yo!)

mumblechum · 13/04/2007 14:18

Well, yes Custy, you don't want to take the pleasure out of family time by being too fussy, but eg. my ds has stopped going to one of his friends' houses for meals because he thinks they're really disgusting (eg, picking up something from the middle of the table, taking a bite then putting it back in the bowl).

Another friend of ds's however, has parents who are so strict that if he holds his cutlery the wrong way, he gets a black mark and once he gets 3 bms, has to clean the car!

Somewhere in the middle is best.

gess · 13/04/2007 14:19

not in the great scheme of things. I realised when ds2 was about to start school that his table manners were dreadful- so since then lots of reminders. But its hard when ds1 is all over the place and still neeeding hand feeding a lot of the time or he wont eat.

UnquietDad · 13/04/2007 14:19

LOL at "eats like a starving caveman". Have seen this!

But yes, we try to uphold good table manners.

dejags · 13/04/2007 14:21

very important.

custy · 13/04/2007 14:21

how to hold a knofe and fork, put your cutlery toghether when you have finished. - is basic basic social ettiquette.

i firmly believe as parents we are there to guide our children into adulthood. to shape, coerce and mould then into decent hard working members of society.

holding a knife and fork is park of that.

warthog · 13/04/2007 14:22

of course! are we not a civilised society?

MamaG · 13/04/2007 14:24

I think table manners are important but I like a warm, chatty atmosphere while we eat. We don't eat together every night as the DC can't wait until I get home from work/DH gets home, but they eat first with eitehr me or DH sitting and chatting, with a coffee.

DS was very small and didn't eat much at all when tiny, so I would just encourage him to eat anything and figured I'd worry about table manners later.

tigerschick · 13/04/2007 14:27

Try going into a school dinner hall and ask that again, Warthog! My dmum, a retired teacher, got so upset with the deplorable manners she saw at her school that she introduced it to the curriculum.

Sitting properly, Custy, is not kneeling on the chair or sitting in some of the contorted possitions some children seem to manage.

Dd is too little yet to be taught most rules but we are starting with little things and intend to carry on.

tigerschick · 13/04/2007 14:28

oops, pesky ssss key! 'positions'

cat64 · 13/04/2007 14:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

harpsichordcarrier · 13/04/2007 14:46

not massively, tbh.
chewing with mouth open etc is disgusting I agree but "sitting properly at the table" - I think if you get too excited about thatkind of thing it might not make for a relaxed mealtime.
imo
which is more important, that the family relaxes and enjoys their times together (probably precious little) without worrying too much about how the knife is held or whatever.
mportant that they know how to behave properly in a restaurant or at someone's house though

sheepgomeep · 13/04/2007 15:59

yes to all.

Think its important. My dp can't stand people who talk with thier mouth full and my mother is the worst culprit.. it sounds disgusting.

Not to bothered about children sitting properly, dd finds it easier to kneel on her chair sometimes

Blandmum · 13/04/2007 16:04

Yes to all, though not all at the same time when they were tiny and learning to sit at table, eat with cutlery etc etc.

I am deeply saddened at the number of teenages I see in school who have table manners that would shame a 5 year old. Many of them cannot use a knife and fork, drop food on the table and floor, refuse to pick it up 'That is the cleaners job', and speak with mouth full etc.

you get the strong eeling that they never sit and eat as a family. Very sad.

Actually, mini preen here, visited friends who don't have kids, they are thinking od starting a family and commented that they would like children 'As nive as the Mini Martians'

Blow me down with a farking feather, I thought, lets scarper quick before the kids let their guard down and they see what they are really like!

OrvilleRedenbacher · 13/04/2007 16:05

yes but some kids are nagged all fakring meal ime