Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

Am i being petty?

74 replies

PinkChick · 27/03/2007 09:32

I have recently arranged dd's 4th birthday party, something alittle different from soft play which we always do..its a fancy dress disco party at a specific place which dd loves(she used to go to dancing there)(there are loads of other palces, but dd wanted this one, most people use bigger halls)
anyway, being me, i was happily telling 'friend' about it and said how excited dd would be when she gets there.

cut to two wweks later...'friend' excitedly tells me she has booked same party at same place with same theme for her ds's birthday, 2 weeks before my dd's brithday

now dd will get to her party and think oh its like xxx's and not be surprised nor will it be something different like a really wanted.

i know her friends are different and that but thinking back any time i have mentioned things to this 'friend' she has done the same
i know it wont scar dd for life, but am pissed off that she did this, not even mentioned oh i think id like to do that too..just passed it off as her own fabulous idea........dp thinks we should keep dd away so her party is a nice surprise..but i dont know whether its our princples getting in the way?

OP posts:
Original poster
PinkChick · 27/03/2007 10:36

catbert, you brought tears to my eyes there, what a pep talk...you're right!

OP posts:
ginnedupmummy · 27/03/2007 10:38

Message withdrawn

Original poster
PinkChick · 27/03/2007 10:40

she has just responded to my text about what i could get her ds as present so i have text back saying can we meet up the day before to give hi present and maybe take them somewhere as i want my dd's day to be different and special and if she gos to one two weeks before it will feel like just another party ad not her special day......................here we go

OP posts:
Ceebee74 · 27/03/2007 10:43

Keep us informed Pinkchick - I am very much like you and hate confrontation so I know how hard it will have been for you to even send the text.

I do think you are right to be annoyed so stick to your guns and just keep thinking of your DD's face when it is her birthday and it is a lovely surprise for her

CatBert · 27/03/2007 10:47

Aw.

It's just you sound like me. I could still easily allow people to treat me badly, because I also a) want what is the easiest course of action b)am very non confrontational c) want people to like me and d) see the best in people, even if I have to try hard to do so!

So, you sound like me, therefore I do understand that this is harder than people imagine.

But still. You will feel better once it's done. The anticipation is always worse than the actual doing.

CatBert · 27/03/2007 10:49

Ooooh - didn't see your last post...

WELL DONE... Now I have to bugger off for the day. But good luck...

WanderingTrolley · 27/03/2007 10:53

Don't go - it sounds like your dd won't care much anyway.

On the day of the party, you will have a minor domestic disaster (boiler broken down, have to wait in for plumber?)coupled with your dd and mindees coming into contact with the contagious illness of your choice, so you will all have to stay in the house.

How you look, how rich you aren't and the size of your house has nowt to do with it. She sapping your ideas for reasons unknown.

I have a friend like this - she is privately known as Single White Female, as in the film.

Tell your friend you're emigrating. Chances are you'll get a 'New address' card from Sydney within a week.

I'd be v pissed off. She sounds v annoying.

Original poster
PinkChick · 27/03/2007 10:55

she text back saying does this mean dd wont be coming to party?, kids always enjoy any party and will know hers is special cos she gets her pressies..thats not the point, i dont want her to think the ONLY diff is its her name on the cake..
so i text back, im not being awkward, but i chose this cos everyone does spftplay and i wanted something diff..dd is v.excited and dont want to take shine of it for her as itll be her first disco party....we still want to celebrate with him, liek meeting up day before..?

can see how this will go, just rang dp, hes same ..he knows ill be seen as bad guy not taking her but thats me all oevr as soon as i say no, people wonder how dare i!

OP posts:
Original poster
PinkChick · 27/03/2007 10:56

and thing is shes prob think well its not her idea, people have done it beofre/....but 'people' didnt wait for me to say i was doing it first then book their own 2 weeks before so get in first making poelpe think we copied and now that we are the ones being arsy

OP posts:
aDad · 27/03/2007 10:56

well done. You've done the right thing in your response. Don't change your mind.

It SHOULD get her thinking that she's been a bit thoughtless tbh.

Original poster
PinkChick · 27/03/2007 10:57

i thinik shell just think im being a bitch and petty, if she doesnt consider my feeling when she skipped in ahead, shell only think owrse of me now

OP posts:
MellowMa · 27/03/2007 10:59

Message withdrawn

WanderingTrolley · 27/03/2007 11:00

oops too late with my last post

good luck pinkchick - she sounds a bit of a mare, actually, refusing to take your point about your choices for your child.

"kids enjoy any party...she'll know hers is special...."

Pah.

She wants the new different special party for her kid and the kudos of the different party for herself.

Pah again.

Single White Female, watch it and you'll steer clear of this woman.

MellowMa · 27/03/2007 11:00

Message withdrawn

Original poster
PinkChick · 27/03/2007 11:04

im being daft and she and her ds are NOT HAPPY..her text

OP posts:
MellowMa · 27/03/2007 11:05

Message withdrawn

bozza · 27/03/2007 11:09

Her DS is not happy? ..... Sounds like she is trying to guilt trip you on that one. He is only 3, you yourself said they were not close...

Ceebee74 · 27/03/2007 11:16

FGS - he'll get over it! She should have thought of his feelings when she copied you - DON'T GIVE IN!!!

aDad · 27/03/2007 11:26

ditto what ceebee said.

this woman sounds like she's got some front.

mumto3girls · 27/03/2007 11:32

Text back and say...'kids enjoy any party' apparently so her ds will still love his even if your dd is not there. Then tell her your dd would not be happy going to a replica party two weeks later and she is your greatest concern.

WanderingTrolley · 27/03/2007 11:35

well put mumto3girls

Nightmare woman.

On the plus side, she may leave you alone.

How annoyed is she?

Original poster
PinkChick · 27/03/2007 11:49

i text back before i read this as picking dd up from nursery..i said no im not being daft, im upset that she thinks that cos i wanted dd's party to be diff, i know im not the first person evr to do a disco party, but it would have been dd's first and she was excited, (just repeated myself!), i said i can imagine she would think im being petty, but as i put a lot of thought into the day, im not going to take the shine of her special day by taking her to one exactly the same two weeks before...had nothing back.....feel crap, dont feel any better for being honest as it has now broken the friends ship

OP posts:
Original poster
PinkChick · 27/03/2007 11:51

we were meeting up at park tomorrow and its my birthday friday, which she would have been bringing card round plus we were all going out next weekend and she was invited...we had been growing apart since she moved hosue(same time we did)and thinks she is better class now..but thinking back her ds jumped que last year and had same party, which id tried to ignore..two weeks before ..agian

OP posts:
mumto3girls · 27/03/2007 11:54

If it was a true friendship this would not break it...

Original poster
PinkChick · 27/03/2007 11:56

that last text tho...i think youre being daft and ds and i are not happy....felt i was talking to school teacher!.she disregarded my reasons and feelings!..i said that her ds would not know diff as all his friends would be there minus dd, but to dd, a new unique party would be fab

OP posts: