your parents silly sayings

[mygirlsmum]

what sayings do you find yourself saying to your kids that your parents said to you even though they dont make any sense
eg choke up chicken

'well life's not fair'

'i'm not your personal slave'

Was gutted when i caught myself saying both of those recently.

'For two pins I'd...' stop your pocket money/give you a smack/keep you in all week... always something I didn't want to happen!

"this house is not a hotel" (quite a common saying in Italy)
the Italian equivalent to "want doesn't get", which translates as : "the 'I want' grass doesn't grow in the King's garden"

My grandad had the weirdest sayings. If I asked him where he was going he'd either say 'To get a wigwam for a horse's bridle.' or 'Mind your own bee's knees and chicken's elbows.'

As to 'what's for tea?' It was 'kippers and custard', 'air pie' or 'bread and pullit' Dh's rude saying, which of course the dc loved to hear, was 'poo-poo pie with muck-muck sauce.'

Quiet in the back row (if talking when tv on - as it was just the one in the house)

Can't stand cheeky kids

Born in a barn

my mother:
You need to get ready lickety-split!

Are you girls still titavating yourselves in there?
(putting on make up in the bathroom)

Hell's Bell and buckets of blood!

My friend's geordie granny used to fart loudly, sigh contentedly, then say "better an empty house than a bad tennant..."

Mum:
That's a matter of opinion - as the man with the wooden leg said
Were you born in a barn?
Bung wood in t'hole (ie shut the door)
I've arrived, and to prove it I'm here
I'll put the kettle on... it won't suit me
Kate and Sidney (for Steak and Kidney)
Nightie, nightie! (to which we replied, pyjamas, pyjamas!)
What did your last slave die of?
I'm not running a cafe here!
Who's she, the cat's mother?

Dad:
Quiet in the cheap seats! (when we were being noisy)
It's chilly for June (no matter what time of year it is)

Irish Grandad:
The things you see when you don't have your gun (usually in relation to some outlandishly dressed person)
You look like the wreck of the Hesperus!
Paper never refuses ink (when reading some scandal or other in the paper)

FIL:
Shoes on, Lucy! (whenever anyone puts shoes on. I now find myself saying this to DD, who looks at me very strangely, as her name is not Lucy)

In-laws at mealtimes:
Wine?
(entire family does aaaaoooooo! wolf-howl - quite disconcerting the first time I met them en-masse...)

dad...
'we're passing some bloody houses here!'

mum...
'sky-blue pink with a finney-annie border'(in answer to what colour anything is)
'pickled eels elbows' (in answer to what's for tea)
'you make a better door than a window' (if someone stood in front of the TV)

also if we asked dad where mum was, she was always 'out with a black man' how odd, thinking about it!

I really like Lovecat's granddad's "The things you see when you don't have your gun" - I quite fancy using that myself.

mum
when asking for a sweet she'd reply "Ask don't get, don't ask, don't get" - confused? I was and still am! (never got sweet - she ate the lot!!!!)

When trying to pull wool over mum's eye's ="I wasn't born yesterday" or "I didn't come over on a banana boat"

Dad
if being a little nosey he'd reply with "your a bit nosey for a cabbage"

DH to his children (my step children)
"well" reply hole in the ground
"what" reply where
"who" reply how
"why" reply 2nd to last letter of the alphabet

My mum, when gearing herself up to do something (e.g. standing up after a meal to go and wash up) always used to say 'Now then Willy'. Once again, no idea who Willy is/was.

MIL had a version of the 'give you something to cry about': 'I'll give tha sommat to roor for'.

DH's dad used to ask if they wanted pop. And if they said 'yes', he'd say 'Corporation pop'... and give them some tap water.

asking mum what's for dinner....pigshit and dolamint....
will not to this day tell us what it is, actually now I dont think i want to know..

ILS looking out to stormy skies ...its a bit black over bill's mother's...

Dad..seeing an overly large nose ...LOUD VOICE...what a hooter!..

to VoodooChickenhead:
For you're a better Pain (pane) than a window!

id also get skin a rabbit when having jumper or top pulled my head
and when my dds say im thirsty my dh replys with nice to meet you im friday

id also get skin a rabbit when having a jumper or top pulled over my head
and when my dds say im thirsty my dh replys with nice to meet you im friday

"Better than a poke in the eye with a dead policeman!"
(I think it's supposed to be 'by' but we always used 'with' and still do.)

Another reply to what's for dinner:
Mum: "Scabb-ed heid!"

When people were getting worked up about things:
Dad: "Och, dinnae fash yersel!"

(Both parents are Scots...)

when asking my dad "whats that for?"

reply "it keeps the elephants away"

we used to laugh and he would say "well doyou see any elephants?"

then i thought "maybe hes right"

instead of somethin like ill smack you in a minute it would be do you want me to sting your legs for you no thanx lol at some of your funny ones lovin the wheres mum out with a black man`one voodoo chickenhead very funny

'I'll make you laugh on the other side of your face' (if we were cheeky);
'I'll warm your bottom/tan your hide in a minute';
This place is a midden/like Paddy's market;
'Steady the buffs' (?)
'All done up like gefilte fish' (over-decorated or tarty)
'It was pande-bloody-monium'

if we asked where dad was it was always-gone to see a man about a dog.we were always upset when no dog arrived!

when being cheeky
dont look at me with that tone of voice,
where do they get these sayings from