Smug fruit shoot feeders - don't you ever worry about 20 years down the line?

[welliemum]

Lots of people here talk about feeding their dcs crap food as a badge of honour - it's a weird kind of street cred.

"My kinds eat junk food - so shoot me, ha ha"
[subtext: I am a laid-back cool person and people who fuss about junk food are so up their own bums it's unbelievable]

But.... there's a big worry out there about obesity, about additives in food, about the way bad eating habits often have their beginnings in childhood...... and the concerns are likely to get stronger with time.

Don't you ever worry that 20 years from now when times have moved on, one of your dcs will read your light hearted comments and actually feel a bit that you seemed so proud of feeding them crap?

Whereas what I'd hope for with mine is to be able to say, "Well, you did sometimes eat rubbish at parties and I wasn't all that happy about it, but I let you because I didn't want you to feel left out. I didn't stress about it too much because I knew you ate well the rest of the time."

[subtext: I was never a perfect parent but I did my best to find the balance between feeding you well and not being obsessional about food].

ILMB- if you are commenting with ref to the recent news item about the boy from newcastle who was on tv and was hugely obese, and ss where threatening to take him off his mum, then I agree. That was a case of abuse ,end of.
But I give dd a biscuit, crisps, sweets very occasionally, but she also has only water, eats fruit and veg, has a very outdoors active life, and is NOT victim of abuse.

If you give your children fruit shoots they will turn out to be smackheads.

If you dont give them fruit shoots then you are a smug mother and your child will turn out to be a smackhead.

WElliemum - people say it in response to threads like this, not because they really don't give a damn, or wear this 'badge of honour'! It's an ironic front.

PLeaseeeease, can we let this whole ting drop? the sens of obsession is driving me to the funny farm!

There are people whomgenuinely don't now about things like trans fats and aspartamane - and it's helpful for them to be able to find out in an open non-judgemental atmosphere. And there's the non-stop on-about-it-ness that has people wearing 'badges of honour' like teenagers do sullen rebellion, it doesn't mean they don't care, and it is in response to this kind of thread. let the threads drop, and you will see the 'badges of honour' evaporate.

Trust me. I'm a 'healthy feder' who is sick to eath pf seeing it obsessed over!

YES, lionheart - thank you for understanding!

I'm obviously not explaining myself very well.

It's all about how you talk about food. Not what you do (which I Do Not Care About In The Slightest).

Believe me when I was a teenager, I never shouted at my mum in the middle of an argument - and you let me drink cherryade you wicked person you!! To be honest I have never understood why people come on here searching for approval in allowing fruitshoots or to whip up the torch and pitchfork brigade to herd fruitshoot givers out. If you are uncomfortable in giving your child something, that would suggest to me you shouldn't and if you don't agree that children should be given certain things, then don't give it to your kids and leave other people to sort their own out.

IMO there is too much focus on what we're eating and not enough on what we should be doing once we've eaten it or how we should be eating it. For example, you could eat nothing but fantastically great nutritional food but if you eat 25 portions of it a day and do nothing but sit on your arse in front of the tv then its likely you're not going to be the smallest person in the world. Kids used to run around and get fresh air and do sports. Now they have electronic pets, stories read to them on tv and 101 great video games. The key to me is teaching kids about how to have a healthy lifestlye - what enables them to burn off food, how much food do they need a day, what's the best way to prepare food and retain its nutritional value - a handful of frozen carrots steamed or microwaved for a couple of mins is healthier than carrots bought fresh left in a cupboard for a few days and then bolied to oblivion for 20 mins!!!

Sooooo move away from the rudimentary and just arumentative fruitshoot vs angel delight discussion and look at how we can educate our kids and parents to live healthier/provide balanced lives its so much more productive !!

I don't think it's as polarised as you seem to suggest, welliemum (aside from the somewhat extreme position already noted).

Do you think then Welliemum by effectively stopping them having it unless at social occasions they are not going to grow up with any food issues ?

I think that the biggest divide in opinion on these subjects over the years is due to the age of the children we are talking about.

Those who think all junk is the work of the devil tend to have littlies (below say 3 yo), those who are of a more 'everything in moderation' line tend to have middlies (say 3-10yos) those who are in the 'fuck me, this isn't the worst thing in life you should worry about' mode tend to have grown upies (10-18yos)!

Oh well that is my assessment anyway

"Well, you did sometimes eat rubbish at parties and I wasn't all that happy about it, but I let you because I didn't want you to feel left out. I didn't stress about it too much because I knew you ate well the rest of the time." sounds perfectly reasonable. But occasionally you see threads which read more like "OMG!!!! My kid saw a fruit shoot and ate a non-organic raisin. Should I take him to A&E to have his stomach pumped?" and I do tend to think "jeez get some perspective" to those.

Blu, I understand you about the irony - I just think the irony is going to look dated someday.

I'm bitterly regretting mentioning heroin as well - fgs I would never equate that with bad food. It's my standard comment when people say "You should try everything once" or ""Everything in moderation"....... ie really, everything?????

lol soapbox - good way of putting it altho mine is under 3 and i have the attitude described in the other categories so i dread to think how i'm going to end up by the time he is actually 10-18!!!!!

Welliemum - now you are being deliberately obtuse - it was quite clear that it was food the 'everything in moderation' was aimed at

Soapbox- execption to your rule here.....dd is only 14months, and for the first year,I struggled to get her to eat, now I am soooooooo much more relaxed about it all.
Everything in moderation imho

I think welliemum has a point about the badge of honour thing. It's the same sort of defensive over reaction which causes people to slag off others for what they perceive as smugness.

Isn't it a very British thing to celebrate failure or to brag about the things we do badly because we're absolutely terrified of sounding smug or boastful? So we all club together to snipe at people who are making an effort and doing well.

I really like Boris Johnson but I was very disappointed to see him becoming a hero and getting kudos for his comments about feeding kids pies through the school gates. He became the frontman for a sort of Jamie Oliver backlash which was a great pity.

Luckily it didn't do too much harm to the cause and I, for one, have been hugely impressed at the rise in the quality of school dinners.

everything in moderation, is just a stock phrase...no-one really believes it applies to everything in the whole world !!

and you cannot parent now in a way that takes into account possible social mores and unscientific knowledge 20 years down the line

cherryade!! can you still get that and does it taste the same! i used to love that - we had big rows in our house whether it was a cherryade or limeade day!

The "everything in moderation" one is a MN must.

It has to be used at regular intervals on food threads or MN will blow up.

Along with smug, transfat, fruitshoot and organic.

Yes blu, I think people, myself included, come across as a 'smug fruit shoot feeder' to counteract the judgemental, superior attitude of others.

I also find the 'everything in moderation' chant a bit of a cop out.

what is a trans fat by the way?

including heroin and crack cocaine as long as it is at a party and is washed down by fruitshoots

trans fats are the nasty fats that lead to coronary artery disease, i,e they clog up your arteries

Lilyloo - it's not about forbidding food - which I think is dodgy thing to do - it's about the setting and circumstances.

For me: at a party= fine. But I don't buy the stuff in the supermarket.

Other people do it differently. So that's fine.

But that's not what I'm talking about in the OP. It's about how you talk about it on mumsnet. Just that.

why is it a cop out ? what is wrong with being on the middle ground?

soapbox I think you make a valid point, and I think that attitude develops with experience. Before our children reach the age of 3, we have more control over what they eat, because, for the most part, we are their sole carers and thus can prevent any food of the devil from touching their innocent little lips. But once they reach preschool age they venture out of the nest a bit, to preschool, to birthday parties, to other childrens' houses, and it is at this point that they fall under the influence of others and are exposed to different views than those expressed by mummy/daddy. And it is also at around this time that they develop a sense of independence, and the need to make decisions for themselves, so where at 2 you could simply whisk away the offending chocolate bar, at 3 they are wise to that and want some input "I wanted that chocolate bar, you can't take it away, it's miiiiiiine!" course once they get to 10 they'll probably just tell yu to sod off if you told them they couldn't have...