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Original poster

I am a feckin' furious marmite snack

36 replies

Twiglett · 13/03/2007 11:10

DH and I have been going through a blip

DH spent the first 2.5 months of this year workign all the hours over some stupid arsing deadlines imposed at work .. and I mean all the hours .. he'd get home and work at home till 2am and sometimes fall asleep on the couch - weekends were nonentities

have arranged for us to get away for a couple of nights on our own .. first time since we've had children (so that'll be over 6 years) ... all booked .. we're heading up to sister's on saturday, then DH and I are going on sunday to lakes for a couple of nights, heading back to sisters on tues then off to friend's cottage on weds with kids till sunday

DH just called and said there might be a problem on the tues and weds as there's some disaster recovery programme scheduled into work that was in before he booked the week off

I cannot even talk to him I am so extremely frustrated, cross, fed up, fucked off, arsing bollocky typical shite

OP posts:
mytwopenceworth · 13/03/2007 11:13

i think theres a clause in the marriage vows that permits the hot waxing of his nethers for such things.

did he not notice the work thing or did he do the normal bloke thing of not bloody thinking!!

wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 13/03/2007 11:16

disaster recovery? on a week day? what kind of company is it that schedules these things during the week when the company is running?

I would kill him.

and then buy a new one from thai bridegrooms.com

Original poster
Twiglett · 13/03/2007 11:18

he's tech .. so they go off-site to confirm that if the building blows up everything could be moved with no loss of sensitive data

but they can FUCK OFF!

OP posts:
amynnixmum · 13/03/2007 11:19

Time for some serious talking - you come first

Original poster
Twiglett · 13/03/2007 11:21

he says he's doesn't think he'll have to go that they can do it without him

he doesn't think

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I don't even want to go away with him atm ..

OP posts:
BandofMothers · 13/03/2007 11:21

Poor Twig. Typical blokey bollocks.
Isn't there someone else to cover? Is he not allowed time off??
SUCKS

TeeCee · 13/03/2007 11:27

oh mate.

Dpn't balme you one teeny iota.

Feel peed off on your behalf mate.

hmmm, me thinks that you speak to him after you've come down off the ceiling and say that a lot rides on your 2 getting some time away. Remind him you've been through a rough patch, that you need this holiday and he really needs to think about what's important to him.

LowFatMilkshake · 13/03/2007 11:28

Hi Twig,

Am goimng out on a limb - which I know might get ripped off but....

Your DH sounds like he is under a lot pf pressure at work from his colleagues or superiors. Right now he probably feels stuck between a rock and a hard place. Either let them down at work a jepoardise his position or let you down - and he proably feels it's easier and non-job threatening to let you down.

Cut him some slack and phone his colleagues - do you know any of them? Explain you have booked a surprise and will loose money (they dont have to know it's not quite like that). Tell them DH is not aware and you want to keep it that way. Say he has been working so hard lately he neds to spend time with his family - you all need to have abreak together, so can they please ensure he is not needed next week.

It's his employers that are he bad guys really!

FoghornLeghorn · 13/03/2007 11:29

Aww Twig, I hope he see's sense soon

Original poster
Twiglett · 13/03/2007 11:31

its not a surprise .. DH is more than aware .. I checked with him before I went to the trouble of doing anything about it .. and believe me it took a lot of planning

My perception of it, which might be totally wrong, is that he never speaks up for himself or makes a stand at work (no 'this deadline is unacceptable and has to be moved').. he's been there 14 years ffs

OP posts:
foxinsocks · 13/03/2007 11:32

I also think you need to find out from him whether him not being there (but on holiday with you) means he'll be checking in every 5 minutes on those days to see what's happening iyswim because that would send me mental.

sorry twig - what a farking PITA.

deaconblue · 13/03/2007 11:33

husbands are always wrong and wives are always right. BUT don't cut your nose off to spite your face, have your weekend away and enjoy it, then demand more weekends away.

Original poster
Twiglett · 13/03/2007 12:31

cutting my nose off to spite my face would be not going

I am quite happy to go on my own

I think I'd prefer it atm

grrrrrrrr

OP posts:
deaconblue · 13/03/2007 16:54

Grrrrrrrrrrr indeed, I do think he's being a nob. BUT maybe he'll sort himself out and it'll be a nice weekend.

Original poster
Twiglett · 13/03/2007 19:27

here comes that well-used line

"I think you've forgotten how work is"

meaning you have to do absolutely everything

well that's our break, and quite conceivably our marriage, fucked isn't it

OP posts:
Original poster
Twiglett · 13/03/2007 19:48

right that's a blazing argument out of the way .. supposedly I've just put him under immense pressure

I've put him under immense pressure

OP posts:
Tigana · 13/03/2007 19:54

Twiglett - have no decent advice (although the hot wax and nether regions sounds like a plan to me...) and am useless at hugs (virtual or otherwise) unless with close family and friends I've known for ages.

but at least this might 'bump' you a bit and someone useful may come along!

morningpaper · 13/03/2007 19:55

This should come under "Am I unreasonable?" Answer: NO

VeniVidiVickiQV · 13/03/2007 20:23

Ah yes, disaster recovery and DNR sites....I know them well

I think, sometimes, managers of IT folk over inflate the importance of an employees role because it saves them having to pay them more (the ego massage is good enough apparently).

Also, you get some lazy arse IT managers out there who get paid ALOT and know fuck all, and rely on grunts (your DH, and my DP) to remember it. Thus, if something goes wrong, will go wrong, possibly go wrong, might go wrong, very unlikely to go wrong but you never know - then they HAVE to have the grunts around because they wouldnt have a farking clue what to do, and it would show them up for the frauds that they are.

If your DH's job is such that he has to trample all over his family like Just To Do His Job, he really needs to rethink why he is there.

Im guessing his earnings are 'Okay'. But, in all seriousness, if his job is earning that much, he should be earning fuckloads more, and I bet he isnt. Is £?????? worth him fucking off his family for good? Really? Might be worth asking. Via email, of course......

VeniVidiVickiQV · 13/03/2007 20:24

trample all over his family life

Not like...durrrrr

Original poster
Twiglett · 14/03/2007 08:15

exactly QV

I woke up seething still

He knows he's fucked up .. and so do I .. at this stage I suppose there's little he can do but if I'm honest its the fact that it ALWAYS happens .. I don't have the energy any more nor the desire to try to fix anything

I can't look at him I am so fed up with it

I think I want out!

OP posts:
SherlockLGJ · 14/03/2007 08:31

Oh Twig, I was hoping this morning would bring resolution.

I am thinking of you.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 14/03/2007 08:53

Oh Twig &

I'd be bloody furious. Hope it gets sorted today. Sometimes (actually most of the time) they've just no idea have they?

MarsLady · 14/03/2007 08:55

You don't want out Twiggy! You don't!

He however needs to see what he can sort out at work, before you send round the MN girls!

LilRedWG · 14/03/2007 08:59

Twig - you don't want out! I agree IT jobs suck.

DH was just like this until we did a stint in the States and we saw one of the VP's stand up in the middle of a meeting, which had admittedly over-run a bit, and said, "Sorry, got to go. DS is playing in a Little League match tonight". I think it helped make him realise that life comes first.

Since we came home from the States he's been a lot more "work to live" than "live to work". I used to hate being an IT widow, so do sympathise, the managers for some reason think their employees are robots (rather than just pointy headed nerds ). DH needs to stand up for himself and say NO!