Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

I am a feckin' furious marmite snack

36 replies

Twiglett · 13/03/2007 11:10

DH and I have been going through a blip

DH spent the first 2.5 months of this year workign all the hours over some stupid arsing deadlines imposed at work .. and I mean all the hours .. he'd get home and work at home till 2am and sometimes fall asleep on the couch - weekends were nonentities

have arranged for us to get away for a couple of nights on our own .. first time since we've had children (so that'll be over 6 years) ... all booked .. we're heading up to sister's on saturday, then DH and I are going on sunday to lakes for a couple of nights, heading back to sisters on tues then off to friend's cottage on weds with kids till sunday

DH just called and said there might be a problem on the tues and weds as there's some disaster recovery programme scheduled into work that was in before he booked the week off

I cannot even talk to him I am so extremely frustrated, cross, fed up, fucked off, arsing bollocky typical shite

OP posts:
LilRedWG · 14/03/2007 09:01

"NO" to work of course - not you Oh Marmitey One

Original poster
Twiglett · 14/03/2007 09:24

Unfortunately at this stage there are 2 possible scenarios

  1. He has to be there .. in which case I'll go up to stay with my family and might do the B&B on my own
  1. He works out a way he doesn't have to be there which means that he'll be working all the hours up to the saturday we go away .. he'll be taking a blackberry and laptop away and he'll be contactable and will most probably be doing a couple of hours work .. in which case see the solution to point 1

I don't even want to spend time with him .. I thought (actually we thought) that we needed to to try to reconnect

why can't I calm down?

OP posts:
Lovecat · 14/03/2007 10:06

Twiglett, I'm so sorry - I too would be absolutely raging in your shoes.

Disaster recovery over a weekend? It's always on a weekday at our place to test the 'reality' of it (I should know, I'm the unlucky cow who lives nearest to the recovery site so muggins always gets landed with being the one to go in and do testing!)

What is it with men and work? My OH is just the same, can't go on holiday without his freakin' blackberry (new toy now that he's a bsd at his co), has to work weekends, shite at delegating... he's away in Paris atm and dd hasn't even asked where he is, she sees so little of him. Sad

If I dare moan, I get the 'I'm under so much pressure' speech too. And he's so bad-tempered...

Anyway, sorry, the point of that was to let you know you're not alone. Not that it helps much... if it were me I'd go without him. Sounds like you need a bit of space, and if he's there but not there (iyswim) it's only going to wind you up even more.

Could it be rescheduled? I know you shouldn't have to, I know he's being a fuckwitted crapweasel, but given how you feel, I think the two of you do desperately need some time together alone.

Sorry I can't be of much advice or help, just want you to know I'm thinking of you... ((((((Twiglett)))))

VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/03/2007 13:56

Maybe because you are feeling that not only does he not create time for YOU, he doesnt make any effort when you create time for him to have with YOU.

So, you are feeling unloved, unwanted, uncared for, and bored, quite probably.

I'm not surprised you are pissed off.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/03/2007 13:58

He needs a reality check.

Im thinking that maybe you should go away. Tell him you dont want him to come now. (Dont suppose you have a friend you could take with you at short notice?).

Dont ring him whilst you are away, let him ring you. Dont do anything for him before you go (like make sure he has clean shirts etc). Just leave him to it. If he wants to speak to his boys - he can ring up and make contact with the babysitters.

Iota · 14/03/2007 14:03

If you do option 2 - he takes his laptop, won't that give you the rest of the week to enjoy yourselves? I know it's not ideal ( and madly infuriating), but it still salvages some time together?

( my dh is in IT - he's spending 6 weeks away at the mo and my new kitchen starts next week -aaarrrrrgggghhhhh)

VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/03/2007 14:15

If he hadnt agreed first, and twig handnt booked and sorted it already, I'd agree iota.

But, this was planned - with her DH's approval, such as it is, before this came up.

It is possible to say "no" to an employer if it impedes on family life. You just say so. Not many employers will actually ask you to re-arrange family life, unless you hold a pretty senior position in a company. DNR testing could have been rearranged, if it was so important.

If he had booked a holiday abroad - would his bosses have expected him to work then?

Not likely.

I suspect that twigs DH may not even have sorted out booking leave in the first place.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/03/2007 14:17

Besides, I think Twig would feel pretty resentful the whole week that she didnt have her DH's undivided, because that's what this was all about.

LilRedWG · 14/03/2007 14:17

VVVQV, I pretended to do that once and left DH a note just inside the front door saying,

"Gone to hotel on my own for our anniversary, as you couldn't be bothered to get home from golf on time. See you in two days."

I parked the car around the corner and then when his friend dropped him off I hid under the spare bed (pathetic I know) and listened to him calling my name and hunting for me. I lasted all of about five minutes before I came out and then it was only because he was nearly in tears! He never did that again!

LilRedWG · 14/03/2007 14:18

Oh yeah, he wasn't ten minutes late, about two hours!

Iota · 14/03/2007 14:24

VVV - you are right, but I was only looking at the 2 options Twig posted - either 1. go on her own or 2, go together and he brings his laptop.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page