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Original poster

does this term offend you?

67 replies

nappyaddict · 13/03/2007 01:15

i had never thought about it before but i recently started attending a baby group and i asked one of the women there if she was a SAHM or if she worked and she seemed really offended by the term SAHM. i know a lot of people are offending by the term housewife because it sounds like you are married to your house but i'd never thought anything bad of SAHM.

OP posts:

suejonez · 13/03/2007 10:08

TBH there are so many things that are worth getting offended by. People are ususally just trying to start a conversation not label or categorise you.

suejonez · 13/03/2007 10:09

ARRRGH "there are so many MORE IMPORTANT thigns that are worth getting offended by"

becklespeckle · 13/03/2007 10:14

I am happy to be called a housewife or a SAHM, not so keen on homemaker as it always sounds a bit clinical and PC to me! Full-time Mum is a strange term because I am a Mum all the time, even when I'm not with the DSs. I also have a part-time evening job and occasionally do work from home (cakes or typing) so what does that make me?
I don't honestly think we need to be pidgeon-holed and the only people I take offence at are the ones who suggest I have an easy life because I am not in full time work!

ScottishMummy · 13/03/2007 10:15

LOL NappyAddict - some people are sooo touchy

HAHA maybe she would prefer domestic and home engineer

feck it worse things to get the hump about huh dont think u said did anything wrong

In scotland id call her Biscuit arsed or nippy sweetie for being so tetchy

jura · 13/03/2007 10:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScottishMummy · 13/03/2007 10:18

Jura - LOL

we could go on and on with the florid euphemisms for SAHM

home maintenence and domestic supervisor

portonovo · 13/03/2007 10:45

I'm not offended by it, but I just think SAHM sounds really naff!

Original poster

nappyaddict · 13/03/2007 16:48

so all you SAHM's, does it offend you if people say "do you work?" even though i do work one day a week and am a student, this sometimes annoys me (wouldn't go as far as to be offended though) because it sounds like SAHM's don't actually work, but maybe that's just me.

OP posts:

Rhubarb · 13/03/2007 16:54

When I was a sahm I never bothered about the term, if someone asked me if I worked I would reply "yes, I'm bringing up my daughter"

Now I work part time so I'm neither a full working mum or a sahm.

The only thing that would upset me would be assumptions based on my status.

PrettyCandles · 13/03/2007 16:59

I don't really like SAHM, I prefer FTM but it's not something I get particularly worked up about. I definitely considre myself to be working at a full-time job.

yaddayah · 13/03/2007 17:03

i really don;t offend that easily !

Skyler · 13/03/2007 17:03

Being asked if I work makes me feel the need to defend my decision to stay at home with the dd's. Makes me feel lazy , and I am not, I do committee stuff and things with the girls. However the dd's are ill at the moment and we have had a lazy day and it is times like this I am SOO glad I don't work and have to worry about the juggling of childcare etc.
Because I don't work I have to budget too and I am able to cook from scratch and we have a meal as a family together nearly every night and I am proud of that (rightly or wrongly) as I do feel I have made a sacrifice in some ways. This sacrifice also stops me from having a third child as we couldn't afford for me to stay off work for another 5 years and support three children and I feel if I can't give the third child the same time I shouldn't do it. Anyway other thread there .

NineUnlikelyTales · 13/03/2007 17:03

I don't mind SAHM or FT mum (not that those who work outside the home are not also FT mums).

On my DS birth certificate my occupation is given as "Housewife" which I love in a 1970s way. I almost bought a housecoat and curlers to celebrate.

I find myself endlessly justifying how I used to have a job and be quite important, actually....completely stupid. What I do now is much harder and more important.

Skyler · 13/03/2007 17:05

God sorry for that pompous last post. I know working mothers can cook from scratch too. I was trying to say I have the time without it being a huge deal. I think I have issues today so please ignore me. Hormones .

NineUnlikelyTales · 13/03/2007 17:06

Skyler it didn't sound at all pompous to me

Original poster

nappyaddict · 13/03/2007 17:10

so skyler, if you don't like being asked "do you work," what would you prefer to be asked? how about "do you go out to work" as this implies as a SAHM you do actually work so to speak? or would that still make you feel the same as the question "do you work?"

OP posts:

Skyler · 13/03/2007 17:16

Actually I think it is perfectly reasonable to ask if you work and I think the problem is with me, not the person asking. I do wish it wasn't such a common question but I ask it too when I am trying to get to know someone and scrabbling around to keep a conversation going )like at Mums and Tots etc. When I lived in Cyprus no-one worked who had small children as there weren't the jobs and so it was never an issue. I just think I am more sensitive to it now we are back in the UK and actually I am in the minority not working.

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