does this term offend you?

[nappyaddict]

i had never thought about it before but i recently started attending a baby group and i asked one of the women there if she was a SAHM or if she worked and she seemed really offended by the term SAHM. i know a lot of people are offending by the term housewife because it sounds like you are married to your house but i'd never thought anything bad of SAHM.

I think its the way you asked

"Are you a SAHM or do you work?"

offensive

"Are you a SAHM?"

not offensive

The only folk that get offended by that term are on here, so she must be a mumsnetter

I just ask people if they work

I don't think your qu was offensive though

actually, a full time dad with two dc under three nearly bit my head off on Sunday at a soft play place when I said something like "Well you've got a handful there!" (meaning to convey solidarity etc) and he snapped : "I DO IT ALL THE TIME!!!"
Which I thought was a little over the top but you have to be careful what you say to the full time dad/parent in my experience! But to be fair, he may just have felt really patronised or be used to being patronised!

I consider myself lucky to be able to sah with ds (5) so now at school

I would view going to work as an escape from the much harder job of raising children. I truly believe that.

I held a full time job as a Sales Director and it was far easier than this one at home. I prefer the challenge and throw myself into all aspects of his care and keeping the home. I get great satisfaction from it as I can see that me and my own benefit greatly.

Sorry for those of you that have to work for financial reasons though

Definitely thought SAHM is a better term than 'housewife' or 'homemaker'. I personally can't stand the word 'homemaker' .. what does it mean anyway? I was glad to come across this term when I started with Mumsnet. I'm a SAHM by the way.

Potoftea - interesting how you view full-time mothers. Will you consider yourself less than a full-time mother when your child goes to school?

I dont mind the term full time Mum or SAHM

Doesn't bother me, but I agree with la Twig on the way you worded it.

I had to fill in an application form for ds' bank account and the only carrer option for me as a SAHM to tick was 'not working'. That was offensive.

By and large I prefer 'full time mother' to SAHM, simply b/c the use of 'home' still has connotations of 'housewife' to me and implies being tied to the house rather than the dcs. But I don't find SAHM offensive and use it on Mnet b/cit's standard on here.

Not offensive at all - I reckon that she obviously has a chip on her shoulder and should get a life!
I hate the fact that these days everything is considered offensive - I think that everyone should just take a chill pill and watch Borat!

i don't find it offensive because its what i am. I do however prefer the term domestic goddess!! haha (yeah right!!)

Cristina, I dont really consider myself a part time mum cos he is at school.

I am at home keeping the home fires burning and cooking tasty nutritional meals (in some cases both)

I meet with other mums and friends to organise trips with the kids and also help at the school (volunteer) two mornings a week.

I can keep myself busy alright and still do nowt for myself!

hmm

would expect to be lynched by any WOHMs that heard me say 'full time mum'

as though i were suggesting that they were only parents at weekends

i think this has been done to dteah - there is no term for a SAHM that describes it better than a SAHM, is there?

Homemaker - I spend all my time at home sponge painting kitchen cupboards, making apple crumble and sewing patchwork cushions out of old baby clothes... Housewife - I make stew, do a lot of ironing and make beds with hospital corners. SAHM - I ban television, make cookies and cut a lot of pictures from magazines. None of it is really right is it?

Anyone for homemaker?

its a combination of all three really

cristinaTheAstonishing - mine are all in school, the oldest is 16, but i am still "on call". there is never a week that goes by that i am not either bringing one of them to dentist/clinic appointments, or alternatively dropping forgotton piano books/sports kit/money to one of them.
Of course i love being able to be with them in minutes too if they phone to say they are unwell etc.
i have very recently started working part-time in a nursey, but hate not being available for my own children.

you know, I don't like 'home-maker' as much as full time mother. Home-maker implies some 50s submissiveness to me. Full time mother at least indicates that it ain't part time!
Working last year was amazing - a bit stressful but in some ways a real relief to hand over the r e s p o n s i b i l i t y for a few months! phew!

Potoftea - but I think you would be available if something is really important and you need to be with them. I think that extends to everyone. Even dads in their ever-so-important jobs can be "on call" for the important stuff in their children's lives.

I've been a part-time SAHM and part-time WOHM for these past two years. I don't like either terms but I know they come in useful for message boards.

don't mind sahm, don't particularly like housewife, dh "jokingly" called me a parasite once.. that funnily enough i did mind !

I loathe 'home-maker'. I really don't like any term that implies my job is to do with my house.

"i am still "on call". there is never a week that goes by that i am not either bringing one of them to dentist/clinic appointments"

Yup me too. And I work for someone (not in my home) who pays me money.

Not offended at all. Housewife doesn't offend me either.

I think the problem with SAHM is that it conjures up for far too many people someone who stays at home. You know, flopping around in a dressing gown, eating cake, never going out. Whereas being a full-time mother not being employed by anyone else doesn't mean that, unless the mum has depression.