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Original poster

DP has had all DS's curls chopped off....

37 replies

Blu · 06/07/2004 13:25

And I'm feeling really sick about it.
DS, nearly three, had a distinctive and gorgeous mop of dark curls, the kind complete strangers stop dead in their tracks to admire. DP went to the barber yesterday for his own headshave, and asked him to 'trim' DS's hair. REsult: short hair, no curls.
I know it's trivial in th long run, but it feels as if my baby has grown up over night, lost a distinctive characteristic of his looks, and won't look like 'him' in his birthday photos in two weeks time.

Thoroughly exasperated and upset with DP as I had said before that we should take him to a proper hairdresser. He was trying to save money. (and we are really not that pushed financially to worry about a £6 difference).

How can I regain my calm?

OP posts:
twiglett · 06/07/2004 13:25

message withdrawn

Janh · 06/07/2004 13:26

How does DS feel about it, Blu?

carla · 06/07/2004 13:28

I hope he kept them!

WideWebWitch · 06/07/2004 13:31

Oh I know the feeling Blu! My ex dh cut our son's hair for the first time when he was about 3 and I cried. We supposedly kept them but I've no idea where they are now. I know what you mean, it's like he's grown up or something isn't it?

motherinferior · 06/07/2004 13:55

Blu, honestly, it WILL grow back. If he's anything like my DP (which he is), it will grow back thick and curly VERY soon. (DP is constantly sneaking off for a haircut because he he doesn't like his curls, silly bugger.)

But I'm so so so sorry. As a mother of a fellow curlytop - ditto re the admiration - I would be so so gutted.

Original poster
Blu · 06/07/2004 15:02

No, he didn't keep the curls. i don't mind that so much, it's the thought of them falling to the floor.
Jan: DS says he likes it, but he's enthusiastic about most things. I think he enjoyed the 'going to barber with Daddy' and the up and down chair. i was careful NOT to burst into tears in front of him last night, but he did ask this a.m if i liked his hair and if I had told daddy off. He then explained that daddy had said that's what Mummy would do - and that's how the whole story came out from DP. Up until then DP had been maintaining that I was over-reacting, and I thought he had deliberately had his hair cut short. Honestly, I felt betrayed and as if he had vandalised our child!
I am over-reacting, aren't I?

OP posts:
florenceuk · 06/07/2004 15:07

What is it about men and boys' hair? DH is always on at me to cut DS's hair as (I think) he is worried people think he is a girl. DS has dead straight hair so no cute curls, but still DH worries...

Janh · 06/07/2004 16:01

No, you're not over-reacting, Blu, I think - in fact I know! - I would have gone ballistic in the same circs, and probably would not have held back in front of DS, so well done you for that!

I've known a few little boys with glorious curls and it's always been the mum who's clung to them and the dad who's finally insisted on The Chop. I suppose it's the "my baby!" thing and men don't feel that.

Freckle · 06/07/2004 16:07

DS3 was a real Little Lord Fauntleroy - blue eyes, and long, blond curls. I kept them that way until he was being mistaken for my "daughter" too often. I took all 3 boys for a haircut when DS3 was about 2. I specifically told the hairdresser just to trim his fringe as I wanted to keep the curls as they were. The following day I walked into the living room and noticed some odd stuff on the floor. Picked it up and realised that it was blond curls. DS1 had chopped all of DS3's curls off. I was devastated and burst into tears (DS1 was 6 at the time). He was equally upset when he saw me crying. I asked him why he had done it and he said "Oh Mummy, only girls have curls and I don't want DS3 to be a girl". What could I say?

The curls did grow back and I eventually had them cut off, as I said, when he looked like being mistaken for a girl for life. His hair now is always a complete mess as it is too short for curls, but they just keep trying to grow through.

Thomcat · 06/07/2004 16:11

oh mate. I've seen his hair and I know the beautiful head of hair we're talking about. I can't speak. We both know it'll grow back but whatever!!!!! Poor you and I can so see how you are feeling re his birthday pictures etc.
What's done is done though swetheart and he's still an incredibly handsome little boy isn't he.
He'll have his locks back soon.
Lots of love, TC xx

marialuisa · 06/07/2004 16:13

Wow, I'm amazed so many of you have waited for so long to have your kids' hair cut! Were they all born without much hair? sorry to be nosey but DD had her first cut at 6 months so i'm intrigued!

Chandra · 06/07/2004 16:21

If it helps you to feel a bit better, sometime ago somebody posted something related to this and said that her DH's parents loved his curls but he always hated them becuase they were the cause of serious bullying at the school, but parents keep telling him not to mind the other children because his curls were beautiful (not that it made his life better at schoold though). At the end the boy gather the courage to go against his parents and chopped them himself. His life at school immediatly improved. If your DP also has curls, maybe he is familiar with the situation and had a reason to to believe it was the best for your child.

Give it time, if you still want the curls back, they wil come back

aloha · 06/07/2004 16:51

Put off the photos until his curls grow back??? If he's anything like my ds it will be before you know it, honestly! He's had his haircut lots of times and he has a big messy mop within days, it seems. And as Thomcat says, curls or no curls, your boy is still absolutely beautiful.

BTW I would probably be upset and cross in your position too, but it's not as if he's got him tattoed, is it?

Fairyfly · 06/07/2004 16:56

Grrrrr, been there, bad hair cutting evil people

agy · 06/07/2004 19:01

Could be the barber's fault. Perhaps your dp really only wanted a light trim and barber just went in and cut too much off.

Fairyfly. Over-reacting just a teeny bit, eh?! just a very teeny bit.

motherinferior · 06/07/2004 19:07

Marialuisa, both my children have been enormously hirsute from birth. I just like their hair!

Blu, why don't you threaten DP with The Wrath Of FairyFly?

lydialemon · 06/07/2004 19:52

Blu, your DS was a little sweetie with curls, and I'm 100% sure he still is But, yes he did have beautiful hair!

It will grow back, no more trips to the barber with daddy though!

Original poster
Blu · 06/07/2004 20:23

Agy: but that was exactly why I had told him previously that DS should not go to Trevors Hair Butchers in Herne Hill.

Yes, FairyFly is the best threat. No over-reaction at all.

Thank you all for your support. I shall go now and massage DS's scalp a bit.

OP posts:
Angeliz · 06/07/2004 21:22

Blu i'm so sorry for that and can understand completely why you're p**d off.
DD has long dark hair right down her back and i think i'd KILL HIM if he got it cut without my permission!!!

Hope you can let it go soon +++

agy · 06/07/2004 22:04

It is a shame about the birthday photos, though. But you might find you're pleased with his new 'big boy' look. Hope so.

Fairyfly · 06/07/2004 22:25

i think he should go to hair court and be punished with six months of lice

Original poster
Blu · 06/07/2004 22:45

But FF, DP hasn't got any hair for the lice to live in. And I might catch them!
No, No, somethng MUCH worse, please!

OP posts:
motherinferior · 06/07/2004 22:47

Crabs?

Angeliz · 06/07/2004 23:03

Blu, do the opposite and superglue a curly wig onto your dp in his sleep to remind him daily how much he's upset you

marialuisa · 06/07/2004 23:09

MI: I like my DD's hair very much but it grew in about 6 different directions so she'd have resembled something from the Addams Family if I'd left it. Sorry, not being awkward just surprised that so many mums have such strong feelings about hair! For me getting her haircut is no more noteworthy than cutting her nails.