Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

Someone tell me how to cure this debilitating phobia

26 replies

monkeymonkeymoomoo · 11/03/2007 18:52

My first husband died of Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma nearly 7 years ago and ever since then I am terrified of being il (not vomiting just generally ill). It makes me agoraphobic for the duration of the illness plus a few days afterwards and I have numerous panic attacks. Since having DD its worse because I have to keep going and can't take to my bed or be by mself for a while

I am scared of passing this on to her and for her to be affected by this. What can I do? Have been horribly ill all week and enough is enough I can't pretend this will go away and I have to be the best mum possible to my DD.

OP posts:
maisym · 11/03/2007 19:01

have you spoken to your gp about this monkey? Sorry to hear what happened xxx

Original poster
monkeymonkeymoomoo · 11/03/2007 19:04

No not yet, don't want ADs Or for them to think I'm nuts! I had this problem when I was pregnant which is why I had a homebirth and no appointments at the hospital apart from the scan.

OP posts:
DumbledoresGirl · 11/03/2007 19:04

As someone else with a (different) debilitating phobia, I know there are all sorts of therapies out there, but I would suggest your first port of call should be your GP. Don't worry about sounding stupid or neurotic or plain mad for admitting to this, as the GP may well be more familiar with this sort of thing than you think. I am not an expert by any means, but I would imagine your phobia could be addressed by some counselling.

DumbledoresGirl · 11/03/2007 19:06

Oh and they are not necessarily going to offer you ADs. I have been to two GPs about my phobia. The first suggested ADs and I just said firmly, no I wasn't interested. She then suggested counselling which unfortunately came to nothing.

The second GP though has not mentioned ADs at all. Just stand firm and say no you don't want them, and you will find there are other things they can offer you.

Original poster
monkeymonkeymoomoo · 11/03/2007 19:09

I did have hypnotherapy a few years back and that did help but didn't finish the sessions cos I couldn't cope wonder if thats worth a shot but how do you find someone reputable?

Have tried anything else DG?

OP posts:
DumbledoresGirl · 11/03/2007 19:12

No I am still awaiting group relaxation therapy

But hypnotherapy appeals to me too. There are professional bodies you can look up. How about CBT?

foxinsocks · 11/03/2007 19:14

unless you are depressed, they probably won't offer you ADs but even if they did, it's no big deal really - if it helps in the short term, that's no bad thing.

Honestly, GPs deal with this sort of thing all the time.

Try and rationalise going to the GP as taking the first step to getting yourself better - it's step one on the path to recovery. They may offer you some form of counselling (like cognitive behaviour therapy).

Did you have bereavement counselling at the time?

calvemjoe · 11/03/2007 19:21

I plucked up the courage to see my gp on friday for the 1st time in relation to my phobia and he has refered me for cognitive behavioural therapy, however there is a waiting list of a year so it'll be a while before there is any feedback on that one. However, I have an appointment on wednesday for Neuro-linguistic programming (sp) and apparantly they can 'cure' 95% of phobias in 1 hour session. Will post back on weds and let you know if it was any good.

DumbledoresGirl · 11/03/2007 19:24

calvemjoe, was the NLP arranged separately from the GP?

calvemjoe · 11/03/2007 19:28

Yes, dh knows a man who trained with Paul Mckenna. Is costing £80 but I lost it on thurs cause ds had the runs and I thought he was going to be sick and dh decided enough is enough. Can't blame him to be honest, it has an impact on everything that I do and therefore on him and the children.

Original poster
monkeymonkeymoomoo · 11/03/2007 19:33

Calvenjoe- thats interesting, would like to know how you get on. Do you have emtomphobia (sp?)?

I have had bereavement counselling but didn't aqddress this problem at the time.

OP posts:
foxinsocks · 11/03/2007 19:33

I hate to say it but I just wouldn't believe someone who could 'cure' phobias in 1 hour. I think you need to be very careful.

calvemjoe · 11/03/2007 19:37

Yes I'm an emetaphobe.
Foxinsocks, I too am very skeptical. I have had this phobia for my whole life and don't beleive an hour with anyone is going to 'fix' me. Dh has known this man for a few years (although I've never met him) and assures me that he is legitimate.

Original poster
monkeymonkeymoomoo · 11/03/2007 19:43

Don't know about you Cal but I am so worried I will never shake this phobia what if, what if...

OP posts:
foxinsocks · 11/03/2007 19:44

that's your phobia talking though moo - they are very controlling things phobias!

can you remember a time when you didn't have it?

Original poster
monkeymonkeymoomoo · 11/03/2007 19:45

Yes, in my 'yoof'... be ill, watch lots of tv, wallow for a bit and get on with it. I miss feeling like that.

OP posts:
foxinsocks · 11/03/2007 19:49

just keep that thought in your head - you WILL get back to that one day. You can do it - really you can. It feels like you can't, but I bet you can. You did it once before and you'll be able to feel like that again.

I'm sure the GP will be understanding - and I'm sorry you've been affected so badly.

calvemjoe · 11/03/2007 19:52

I agree monkey. I just want to be able to look after my dc if they are ill instead of going to pieces. I'm trying to work out what part of the whole vomitting thing is my actual phobia so I can define it on weds. I need it to be gone because I can't, and I'm sure you can't, live like this for the rest of my life. Think I may be heading towards OCD aswell because I worry about germs the whole time and my hands are cracked from over washing. The worst part is, I can see how irrational I am, just can't stop.

Original poster
monkeymonkeymoomoo · 11/03/2007 19:53

Thanks Foxinsocks

Will definitely make an appointment to see the GP on Monday, she is very lovely and sympathetic so should be ok. I am in a frame of mind to deal with this and am focussing on my DD to get me through it.

OP posts:
calvemjoe · 11/03/2007 19:55

monkey, was convinced my gp would tell me to get over myself but he didn't at all. Was very understanding and kind, he made me cry he was so nice

Original poster
monkeymonkeymoomoo · 11/03/2007 19:56

I agree, we can't avoid germs (and I am paranoid about handwashing etc and sell by dates) and our kids are likely to be ill so it is finding a way of handling it. It is such a consuming phobia though eh?

I always find once the illness is done with I wonder why I made such a fuss and vow next time to be braver, then next time happens and I am not brave so my self esteem plummets.

OP posts:
DumbledoresGirl · 11/03/2007 19:57

Let me know how you get on Calvemjoe. On this thread maybe? I am really interested.

Monkey, I am pleased you are going to see the GP. Just take a deep breath and go for it. Don't stop to think should I? shouldn't I? just do it! That is how I managed to phone the GP when I had had enough.

calvemjoe · 11/03/2007 20:05

monkey, that's why I'm finding it difficult to define my phobia, because once it's over I wonder what all of the fuss was about.
I'll let you know how it goes DumbledoresGirl (wish I had your Nickname) I know that you want to get better just as much as I do.

DumbledoresGirl · 14/03/2007 11:10

calvemjoe, how did the NLP go today?

Original poster
monkeymonkeymoomoo · 14/03/2007 13:53

You beat me to it DG

Hope you are ok Calvemjoe.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread