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Original poster

Do you ever worry that someone could find you in RL from your postings on here? Or are you more careful than that?

157 replies

WideWebWitch · 10/03/2007 10:54

For example, I posted once (ages ago) about where we were going be at half term and vaguely worried about it at the time and wondered whether I should have done so.

I also posted some details about another event which could have led someone to my rl name and address (it's my old one so it's not relevant now)

I haven't tried but I wonder if I searched on a particular mumsnetter's name, would I be able to find something that would lead me to their rl details were I to want them? I wouldn't, of course as I'm not a weirdo or a stalker but this is the www and anyone else could.

So, should we all be careful what we reveal here? Or am I being over cautious?

OP posts:
DumbledoresGirl · 10/03/2007 16:32

I was thinking about this only today. It occurred to me that certain information I have given recently which I had previously withheld, together with facts I have not hidden at all, could, in theory, lead someone to identify the school my children go to and even the house I live in.

but I am with Moondog: who on earth would be that interested in me?

Lucycat · 10/03/2007 16:40

I found martianbishop's tent last Whit - she wasn't there but I did think about leaving a mn calling card - then thought it might give her the heeby jeebies so decided not to spoil her holiday!

MerlinsBeard · 10/03/2007 16:42

lol lucycat! That would be very blair witch!

Tinker · 10/03/2007 16:46

I do try not to reveal too much but...someone posted on a thread the other day with so many details that were similar to someone I know and she referred to someone who could be me...that I'm vowing to post even less personal stuff.

Lucycat · 10/03/2007 16:48

mom have you been adding stuf to the 'mn local' bit?

I found lots of stuff near you on 'our' bit!

Tinker · 10/03/2007 16:51

Ah, read thread now - I've missed the point.

MerlinsBeard · 10/03/2007 16:52

i have but then realised that i didn't want to win a fairy castle so waiting to add more when there is a prize my DS's would like to win!

(and i was bored!)

Lucycat · 10/03/2007 16:57

psst if you do win it - can I have it?

my 2 would love it!

I'm going to put some stuff on too, when I can think of something!

MuffinMclay · 10/03/2007 17:01

Kate - I agree. When I first start posting on MN I used something close to my real name and it was suggested to me that I should change it, that using real names wasn't the 'done' thing here. I have changed it, but feel much more like 'me' on a couple of other forums I use where I'm known by my real name.

It is easy to spot other MNers in RL when things they've said on here tie up with things they talk about in RL. I've identified 4 MNers in RL at various mother and toddler groups. I sound like a stalker now.

Having said that this morning I really wanted to start a thread to rant (and ask advice) about someone whose out of control dog attacked mine this morning but didn't because I know she has children so could be an MNer.

MerlinsBeard · 10/03/2007 17:02

i was sad and googled

we should have a meet up soon, will start a thread...

deaconblue · 10/03/2007 17:09

Never occurred to me. But then I never say or reveal anything here that Iwouldn't want RL people to know anyway

motherinferior · 10/03/2007 17:40

I suspect that should anyone want to identify me from my posts, I mean someone who didn't know me already, in a gathering, it wouldn't be exactly difficult. Given that I am quite open about being a redhaired shortarse with big norks and small feet. And go on and on and on in pretty well exactly the same way as I write.

katelyle · 10/03/2007 18:29

Wicked waterwitch - no I don't live at a number 10. Interesting - I'll have to search for myself and find out who I am! Lots of people know where I am and about my family - why is is any more risky to let people online know?

Flamesparrow · 10/03/2007 18:37

Ello Sparkler

MoM - Not a lot I could think of to add, so B'll have your fairy school day

Original poster
WideWebWitch · 10/03/2007 18:39

lol flamesparrow re axe
katelyle, true, true, maybe it isn't riskier at all.

OP posts:
Legacy · 10/03/2007 18:43

I think you're right to be wary WWW. I am EXTREMELY cautious about what I post, and am shocked by how many people post personal identifiable information and pictures of children etc.

There's no accounting for weirdos lurking out there, and I'm just not willing to risk it for the sake of me, or my family.

If someone built up a 'dossier' about you/ your location/ schools/ work/ your children's ages etc, it would be easy to perhaps trick someone into believing that they knew you/ perhaps meeting up or something. I also worry that children would be at risk of someone fooling them e.g. "I know your Mum, I work at [X] with her. She's sent me, because she's had a problem with Y (as you know, it's been an issue recently), we've got to go to Z rather than Q (where you usually go...)."

I know it sounds far-fetched, but it IS possible, and it sends shivers down my spine....

Perhaps someone ought to set a "you don't know anything about me" challenge and then tell us if they are shocked by what we find out???

hillary · 10/03/2007 18:48

I worry about this very much, I have a violent XP who I ran away from with my 2dd's (acutally I had 1dd and bump at the time) but since then I changed my name & my dd's names by deed poll so our previous lives have been erased.

Earlybird · 10/03/2007 18:55

Do you think it is true that many of us 'cautious' posters are also the same posters who don't usually appear on many of the MN online 'popularity polls'. Sometimes I feel bad that I don't feature (childlike whine: am I that unmemorable?), but often I'm glad that I have maintained some degree of anonymity.

bumperlicious · 10/03/2007 18:57

Although I am very open emotionally on MN I am confident no-one can tie to RL as I never mention even the region where I live. I have a bit of a funny job and have to be v wary about what I do/say online for anyone to read. Where I live will, for the people who might be interested, probably give away what I do. It's scary what people can pick up about you on the internet. I would never have one of those social networking pages.
I also am aware that I try not to encourage close friends and family to come on here as they would probably spot me a mile of and I like my anonymity, especially when you just need a rant!

willywonka · 10/03/2007 19:03

Have only ever posted circumstantial stuff that a rl friend might recognise rather than personal info that would id me to strangers. That said, if a rl friend then went to the trouble of looking up some of the things I've posted over the while, they'd know a bit more about me than perhaps I would choose but their sadness for looking (bad English, but can't be arsed to think of a better way to phrase it)would compensate for any real embarassment

Flamesparrow · 10/03/2007 19:05

Are you not featured Earlybird?! I think of you as a regular... sorry for never mentioning you

Earlybird · 10/03/2007 19:06

Ah,,,,flamesparrow, I feel better already!

Flamesparrow · 10/03/2007 19:12

You do know that the next poll I'll have completely forgotten who I wanted to mention I sat there with the most recent one thinking "There was someone I knew x about" - never did remember who it was

filthymindedvixen · 10/03/2007 19:21

I got 'found' twice in a fortnight! One I tried to CAT but she never replied which makes me feel even worse...
The other spotted me knitting for Maud so wasn't through my posts at least. I have to say, I am more paranoid about what I post now.
I completely fresked out when the first incident happened as I was possibly being a little indiscreet about a worky thing on a thread. Even though it wasn't anything intimate about 'me', I felt quite sick and worried at being 'outed' and did consider a name change. After two days of fretting, I got over it.
But I do treat MN as a place to let off steam so I guess I'll do name changes if I'm discussing anything very personal.

RustyBear · 10/03/2007 19:35

I have pictures of my children on my profile, but they are 19 & 17 - I'm not sure I would have put them on if they'd beem younger. I did wonder a bit about it, but when I asked them, they both pointed out that there are dozens of pictures of them on myspace.