Do you do 'pity'?

[Pruni]

Message withdrawn

What is the difference between pity and sympathy?

To me pity brings to mind a condescending, superior attitude, whereas sympathy involves empathy and genuine fellow feeling.

Pity always has a horrible implication whereas empathy and sympathy sound supportive

Message withdrawn

Yes it is condescending isn't it

I do feel it quite a lot

I think it is better than constant anger though. It is hard to continually be empathising, as well, to be fair - it's nice for the person you are doing it to, but a bit wearing in the long run

I was going to say pity is condescending so of course not

Exactly, myturn, pity seems to imply smugness that one is not like that too.

Message withdrawn

Is it Ok to feel sorry for someone then?

its fekcing patronising imo to feel pity

I feel it a lot for dickheads who drive a milimetre from my bumper when we are all doing 70 mph on a crappy welsh "motorway" (aka crumbly mountain road)

I think pity used to be seen as a very noble and worthy emotion

oh I know what it reminds me of

the first UK simpsons episode (when it was still a bit funny) where they all troup off to Maison Burns and the simpsons are shown to be hugely dysfunctional. The other guy, the employee of the month type, says to Homer "I pity you" as he gets into his car to drive off with his car-singing family. And the other simpsons sprout horns and chant "one of us, one of us"

THATs what pity means to me

I do I'm afraid. It's an involuntary emotion, isn't it? I experience it quite often. I wish I didn't, it's quiet a painful feeling and very difficult to shake. And it keeps you in destructive relationships for far too long.

I don't agree that feeling pity is condescending or patronising though, that's just wonky. NOT feeling pity is inhuman IMO.

Maybe deliberately expressing pity in a condescending way is patronising, but that's a different thing entirely.

Message withdrawn

pity requires a distance from the person being pitied, I think.

Ok put it another way. Would anyone choose to be pitied? (obviously no one would want to be in a sitation where they were pitied, but would anyone actually want to inspire pity in others?)

In that context, I think pity is OK - as in feeling sorry for her stupidity in choosing to be nasty. IYSWIM.

Message withdrawn

I don't think I would want to know someone who never felt pity for another person's suffering. "Pitiless" is a pretty hard word, isn't it?

Not all pity comes with a feeling of superiority or scorn. Real pity is just about empathy and feeling some of someone else's pain - part of what makes us human IMO.

I loathe the word pity.

Although I believe it is supposed to be a virtue.

To me it smacks of just feeling that something is wrong, rather than trying to put yourself in the other person's position and thinking how you would feel then. Condescending yes, and perhaps a bit lazy too.

this is semantics though, bascially, isn't it?

We all know what emotions are Good and which ones are Bad but some words have certain connortiations for some of us.

Pity is...no its horrible. "I pity you" = "I am better than you, so much better that I'm not even going to show you that I am better than you"

Message withdrawn

I think you are right Greensleeves - the real meaning of 'pity' should be about empathy (and ofcourse the actual meaning is) but I think these days unfortunately it has less than savoury connotations.