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Original poster

Opinions needed to help us make a possible life-changing decision please! (Bit long)

31 replies

Galaxy · 04/07/2004 15:27

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bundle · 04/07/2004 15:32

galaxy, have you seen that appalling series (on channel 4, I think) I think it's called no turning back. choc-full of people who've tried living the dream(maybe it's called that!) and there are some terrible bit where
a) everyone overspends
b) people do v little research (not that I'm saying you haven't) - eg buying a wrecked place and discovering it's grade 1 listed, then a few hundred metres from a proposed international airport and the mayor forgot to tell them when they went to butter him up about their application to renovate...
c) it's almost too painful to watch....

sorry, didn't mean to put a damper on things. i suppose you should ask yourself would you be thinking about doing this if you weren't so disillusioned with life - a bit like not buying something in the sales which you wouldn't normally give house room to. oh god, i've been no help at all.

Sonnet · 04/07/2004 15:35

I can identify with what you say - completely.
my DH won't give up his already siccessful business YET he wants to wait until children are older

I am a "safe" type of person so the first dilema would be making it financially "wash it's face" - so if you are happy that you can make a living then that would get a tick in the box.
I would worry about having to get a mortgage to pay out inheritance to DH's sister - that would pray on my mind especially as we would be getting older too...On teh bright side you may make enough to buy her out outright - but you may not...
Have you discussed this with her ( tricky I know). Would she be happy to own a share of the business and get a dividand annually?
The other area of concern I would have is the children. What does your DS think

On the whole I am terribly [envy} of you and this wonderful opportunity....

beetroot · 04/07/2004 15:37

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bundle · 04/07/2004 15:38

it's called No Going Back

Original poster
Galaxy · 04/07/2004 15:39

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bundle · 04/07/2004 15:44

galaxy, the programme last week featured a couple who were supposed to be setting up a b&b in spain with the bloke's first wife & her new husband!!! one of their vans was so clapped out they had to scrap it and get a new one and the other lot had loads of pets, and one of the cats was about to give birth en route. shocking, but I was glued to it...

Original poster
Galaxy · 04/07/2004 15:46

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bluestar · 04/07/2004 15:46

I think you are right in questioning the need to escape. However so many people do it it a go and wished they'd gone along time before they finally had the guts. Maybe you could try reading up on some case studies (rather than watching the tv progs) of people that have followed their dreams or speak to relocation agents who will know more about the nitty gritty stuff. I bet there are so many people thinking like you do! Have you thought about reducing the scale of your adventure? Maybe renting out your house, living in the area of France for a while, rather than rushing straight into it. Wish you luck if you do go for it.

ggglimpopo · 04/07/2004 15:50

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bundle · 04/07/2004 15:52

could you do something similar in a lovely part of this country?

Original poster
Galaxy · 04/07/2004 16:00

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bran · 04/07/2004 16:12

I could be wrong about this - a French tax lawyer would be able to advise better, but I think that so long as it's clear in the will that your PILs are domiciled in the UK then their estate will be settled there. I know that, for instance, my estate will be settled according to Irish inheritance law even though I live in the UK. So your PILs could leave you the property and SIL the rest of their estate.

The other thing you could do would be to buy the property in yours and DH's name, but using PILs money. This would be a risky thing for them to do as you could then kick them out on the street, and your SIL would probably have plenty to say about it too. It would solve the inheritance problems though.

ggglimpopo · 04/07/2004 16:33

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Tinker · 04/07/2004 17:47

Galaxy - Not read all of these post so sorry if I repeat stuff. But did notice someone saying the gite market is saturated - agree. The place we stayed in last year was only booked for about 3 months of the year. She emailed me a few weeks ago because they have virtually no bookings so far for the summer - and it was a lovely place!

There was a programme on last week about a couple who ran a camp site in France. There were lots of other comments from those who'd already done it who all seemed to say they'd never do the same thing again. You can make lots of money - we were doing the sums in our head watching - but you are on call 24 hours a day. it he toilets get blocked you have to deal with it now. You may have to run the bar. I think you may see a lot less of your family.

Also, do you have parents here? I know what would put me off moving abroad (yet) is how much my mum would miss my daughter. I don't think I could do that to her. Don't know what your relationship is like with your parents who whether they are fit and able enough to travel to see you a lot.

Good luck if you go.

collision · 04/07/2004 18:04

DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!!

Sounds like too good an opportunity to miss and although it will be hard work it will be worthwhile and you will live in a fabulous place. We moved to Italy and although the red tape is HELL we got through it and love it here. DS is bi-lingual and picked it up far quicker than I did and the weather is lovely and the vegetables taste like they should!!

Do you speak French? Obv a huge advantage as it will get you down if you cant communicate with people. I think the children will be fine with the school as they do pick things up and in the long run you will have a great life, I think.

No more traffic jams!!!!!!!

Chandra · 04/07/2004 18:36

No traffic jams???? do you know how long does it take to overtake a bunch of tourists (probably 40 at a time) exploring France's wine route by bike??? That's when you learn that using a burro is the faster way to the top of the mountain!!!

Original poster
Galaxy · 05/07/2004 01:26

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Davros · 05/07/2004 02:45

How can living with the in-laws be any improvement on anything? Sorry, not much help but couldn't resist.

essbee · 05/07/2004 04:04

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ggglimpopo · 05/07/2004 11:32

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Tinker · 05/07/2004 12:25

Galaxy - look at this. Might help

jmg1 · 05/07/2004 13:28

ggglimpopo, did you move on your own, no dp/dh?
Could you already speak French?

Blu · 05/07/2004 13:29

I think you are right to have identified the will and what happens if (well...in the longer term 'when' your IL's die. Also, what if they become very frail and help is needed. I think you need to know that you could cover the mortgage if you needed to buy out SIL's share, or that she would not feel so resentful at any caveats over the investment that it would make a very unpleasant family situation at the time you least need it. What is SIL's view? Also are you and DH happy to be cheek by jowl, financially and domestically, with you ILs?

ggglimpopo · 05/07/2004 13:41

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spacemonkey · 05/07/2004 13:41

good for you ggglimpopo!