When you make a statement in public to your children, you are inevitably commenting on other parent's choices in how they bring up their children and they have the right to take offence or scoff at you or raise their eyebrows

[Twiglett]

discuss

eg
"Harry you are not allowed that biscuit"
"Jonny don't climb up the slide, use the stairs"
"Roberta you are only allowed water not juice"

etc, etc, etc

i suppose other parents can scoff if htey want, i willa dmit to feeling slightly smug when insisitng on some behaviour from my dc in blatant view of other parents and children not doing hte same , so i guess yes i am inadvertantly commenting on their lack of parenting ( in my eyes) a recent example my dd1 aged 7 was at a birthday party and the tea was served cue all children sat at table enjoying lavish spread , 2 or 3 kids are up down , running off taking food with them etc , my dd gets up , cue me saying firmly, "babydoc sit on your seat as tea is not finished yet" cue other parents glaring at me , well actually i felt quite righteous as it is jolly bad manners to leave the table half way through ! i will now slink off back to the ski threads where i will try not to offend anyone.....

pmsl @ custy!

I try to stand my ground (to the extent that DD handed back squash the other day with the announcment of "I not allowed squash - I bounce", but sometimes I feel awkward and give in

I need more confidence in myself.

People do seem to think that I have a weird child who gets offered pasta instead of sweets...

Well, there are always going to be things you insist on for health reasons, if you have a DC with diabetes or serious food allergy or whatever (and its amazing how fast you can lose your inhibitions when it's something essential). And, actually, it's good for all kids to learn that people are different and have all sorts of reasons for doing things or not doing things - a kid who's been taught to laugh at the desperate, normative, paranoid conformists is a kid less likely to take up toxic behaviours or viewpoints as a teen just to fit in.

think I did something like this today - took DS1 to an arts and crafts class. I see it as a class where we go to do the activity with our children. Two other mums there were chatting and not paying any attention to their LOs, who were running round and round the hall, not doing any of the activities at all. DS went to run round as well.. I took him to one side and (quietly) told him that this was a sticking and painting fun time, and not a time for running around. If he wanted to run around, we could just go home and he could run around there. He chose to return to his activity (phew!). Was that a criticism of the other mums? Well, yes. No idea if they raised their eyebrows though, didn't dare look...!

I've come across alot of mums who use this tactic and I hate it.
its one thign to say relativly quietly - or at least obviuosly directed at your child:
"please go up the steps on the slide DS"

its quite another to say loudly and not looking at your child but addressing the room as a while:
"no dear we know the proper way to go up the slide dont' we, we're not a baby"

especially if you do it directly after my child has just gone up the slide!

and don't get me started on food and drink. I'm not sure what's worst, the playgroups where everyone looks at you as if you are mad if you ask for water not squash or the ones who look at you as if you are evil if you give your child a chocolate button (i've been to both)