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Original poster

EMPLOYERS OF NANNIES!...

32 replies

ScottishThistle · 01/03/2007 14:47

Hi!

After a discussion with an Nanny acquaintance of mine, I'd like to know if you would be upset if your Nanny told you of your child's first time crawling/ first word/ first steps?

I've always felt that it's unfair to do so as these firsts mean so much to Parents.

My friend said she always informs of firsts!

How do you feel about it?

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Original poster
ScottishThistle · 01/03/2007 14:56

Anyone???

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Original poster
ScottishThistle · 01/03/2007 15:03

First time I've plucked up the courage to post & I'm being totally ignored!

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Hattiecat · 01/03/2007 15:06

NO! don't do eat - worms are bad for you...my friend has a nanny for her twins and 2 then older two after school. my friend is completely laid back about the first everything (poss cos the twins were something of a surprise package and she's already done it twice). personally i would rahter not know, though my dd2 took her first steps a month or so ago and i was waiting for her to do it again for dd1 then my mum babysat one night and dd2 repeated experience, and my mum just blabbed about it, with the big "she did it first for granny" thing - really annoyed me...!(sorry that's nothing to do with nannies, but same sort of thing and it might have stopped you eating worms...

Original poster
ScottishThistle · 01/03/2007 15:09

Oh thank you Hattiecat! < spits out worm! >

Same thing Nanny/Childminder/Mum/MIL!

I know if I had a child it would upset me!

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zippitippitoes · 01/03/2007 15:17

if you have a child will you have a nanny?

I think parents with a and b probably get used to it

Original poster
ScottishThistle · 01/03/2007 15:19

If I have a child, no I won't have a Nanny!

Sorry Zippi, what's a & b?

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zippitippitoes · 01/03/2007 15:28

a is a baby and b is a nanny in my imagination

only meant if in the sense of acknowledging that at the mo you don't have one

Hattiecat · 01/03/2007 15:49

oh, zippitippitoes, you confused me with your a's and b's!!! i'm still spitting about my mother, it would have meant so much to dd1 to say she's seen dd2 walk for first time....wouldn't mind, but little monkey dd2 walked once then gave it up as a bad job!

Original poster
ScottishThistle · 01/03/2007 19:18

Ah ok, never been described as a b before!

Do you think a Mother with a Nanny should have to get used to someone else telling them first though?

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crunchie · 01/03/2007 19:33

Well as a mum with 2 kids, one who went to a cm and one who had a nanny.

with DD1 the CM didn't tell me about 1st steps, in hindsite I was glad, as one day I went to pick her up and dd1 walked to the door. I was so suprised I was wow wow wow she walked for the first time!! The CM said, er no, she's been doing that for about a month!!!

DD2 I saw her 1st steps, and this was pure luck , I came home early It was one of teh fundamental reasons that I quit commuting so I got additional time with my kids (Still work though!!)

Original poster
ScottishThistle · 01/03/2007 19:51

Bump!

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Bink · 01/03/2007 20:03

Completely depends on personality (& personality-mix b/w nanny & parents). My ds was a little late walking (not very, 15 mos - but enough that all his little friends were running about & he was still crawling). So we were all waiting & waiting - and then when he suddenly did SIX STEPS with my nanny she couldn't help bursting with excitement and joy and telling me. Which I thought was lovely! - her reaction just made it all the more exciting all round.

So there you go - I guess it's something to chat about w/ parents early on in the job?

Original poster
ScottishThistle · 01/03/2007 20:14

That's good Bink!

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jura · 01/03/2007 23:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

paros · 02/03/2007 21:01

Ive always kept quiet when I have seen anything .

nooka · 02/03/2007 21:11

I think to be honest you have to accept when you decide not to be a SAHP that you will miss some things. It's the first time you see/hear things that matters. The way things are said matters too though - if the person telling you is very excited and happy then that is nice too (if on the other hand when you say wow ds/d did this at the weekend and they say, oh yes s/he's been doing that for weeks that is a worse put down IMO). The other thing is that in hindsight it actually isn't that big a deal, because I am sorry to say that you forget! For example my ex and I disagree totally about when ds took his first steps, and neither of us can remember first words at all! (We may be weird in this respect!)

BarbieLovesKen · 02/03/2007 21:30

I work full time and have not missed one of dds "firsts" - heard her first word, seen her crawl for first time, witnessed her first steps. I could just be lucky with timing but just because you work doesnt mean you don't see your kids, ive heard this soooo many times "must be hard to miss all those moments.." ... I DO come home from work! I do see dd every day, I think people seem to forget this... but then as I said, I could just be lucky

Coolmama · 02/03/2007 21:43

I think it depends entirely on the parent and nanny relationship -
I was lucky with our nanny because I think, even if she had a "first", she didn't say anything, leaving me to "discover" it on my own - and thinking back on that, I am really touched by her thoughfulness.

Original poster
ScottishThistle · 04/03/2007 23:42

Coolmama, I also feel it's being very thoughtful not to say anything!

BarbieLovesKen, you were very lucky & are you sure your child did all his firsts with you?

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NannyL · 05/03/2007 00:02

I tell my bosses of my charges 1st everything...

luckily he did his first proper walking on my 1 and only day off in 5 months... but his 1st steps (over 2 weeks) were with me and my nany friends... and once when they were upstairs and me down.

He also has relaibly said my name for about a month but not mumym or daddy yet.

I think if you work and let someone else look after your child for most of the childs waking hours you have to expect them to do their 1sts with the nanny! (ie mon - fri, 8 - 6)

NannyL · 05/03/2007 00:03

BTW i will be mortified and very upset if my own children (when i have them) do their 1st things when im not around!

Original poster
ScottishThistle · 05/03/2007 00:05

You should expect the child to do their firsts with the Nanny but should the Nanny always tell the parent???

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Flamesparrow · 05/03/2007 00:08

I don't have a nanny, but I would rather live in ignorance than feel I have missed their "firsts"

i think it is kind to keep quiet

nathaliea · 05/03/2007 00:11

i have two kids - a 2yr old and 5 month old. i work more than full time and i love my job. i am an awesome mom and my kids are doing fabulous. i wouldn't be able to do it without my incredible and superb nanny.

what i do is, if every my nanny says dd did this today - i say "o yeah, i know, she did it for the first time on the weekend!!!"

Original poster
ScottishThistle · 05/03/2007 00:24

Nathaliea, so if your nanny informs you of a first does it upset you?

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