Mornington Crescent....

[BratFarrarsPony]

Well as I won the last game fairly and squarely despite not being as quick as the old lags....I will start another game.

Gants Hill

I am bereft at the loss of dear Brian. He wasn't much of a player of MC, but I feel he would have approved.

Tooting Broadway

De mortuis but he was never more than a barely competent amateur. I once saw him play Henley-on-Thames after Coventry before high tide on a Thursday!

In honour of another recently departed and very skilled amateur Crescenter:

Ludwigshafen

Dear Helmut was never happier than when he could take a break from affairs of state and play al little MC. That's why he could not see eye to eye with Margaret Hilda, who never really understood the Gsme of Games.

Ah, yes. Helmut did so much to promote the game within the EU. Indeed, I've heard it said that the crucial agreements around German reunification were only achieved after an all-nighter in Wuppertal, where Helmut finally achieved a decisive victory with a Secondary Furtwangler to Bremen. So, in homage to that

Mile End

I see that the BBC is broadcasting ISIHAC for six weeks starting on 26 June at 6.30 on The Home Service Radio Four. Three of them may be expected to include their simplified version of MC. Spread the word; one day a champion player will begin byistening to the BBC. Don't forget to warm the valves on your radio set well in advance.

I should of course have played Six Mile Bottom

Should you? The point is moot, to say the least.

I do enjoy listening to ISIHAC, but some of the more egregious errors are enough to give one a fit of the vapours. Still, one must remember that they are novices and, without Humph's guiding hand, they are bound to struggle.

Seven Sisters

In these days of internet radio stations and even ones you can listen to on the tv, the age of the dial and medium or long wave seems a golden one. Not only for the late Mr Lyttleton to guide players of the game, but dear Mr Arlott's voice describing yet another England batting collapse at the hands of the West Indies or Australia.

With the aid of the London Overground rule I move to Hackney Downs

Well: it can only be Tattenham Corner.

Not that I know anything about horses; a leg at each corner.

Oh, Andrew, you are a tease. We all know it was you who won the Great MC Gymkhana in '76 (one wonders why it's never been repeated?). That Balmain ball gown accessorised with sou'wester and hockey boots was really not much of a disguise, as you'd worn it to the Diplomatic Corps dinner the previous week.

So it's on to

Cheltenham Spa

The Great MC Gymkhana is a regular event - if you know where to ask around. See you in Quito, Maud, and don't forget the Fishermen's Friends this time. Or the carpet-beater.

The original Spa calls.

The closed lines abroad rule played for the first time in a while, on a Wednesday of all days. On the day of Royal Ascot as well. Brave indeed.

So continuing in the Kingdom of three official languages I move to Namur

A dismal spot. So is Liege but that's where we're off to.

I understand that the dress code has been relaxed at Ascot. Where's that going to end?

The relaxation of there dress code at Royal Ascot is almost as bad as scheduling the Queen's Speech on the same day. I am surprise the country's new rulers the Democratic Unionist Party did not say 'no' to this. I thought they were all for keeping 18th century traditions. What will be next- expressing emotions in public, or not having a G+T before lunch?

Have to agree about Liege being dismal. A much better city in the Kingdom of Belgium is Leuven so a move there is best for now.

I fear we are in the last days of what could even loosely be described as civilisation. I anticipate shortly being reunited with my fellow MC players in brutish post-apocalyptic surroundings, our only respite from endless wood-chopping and water-carrying a brief whispered game of Frobisher's Variant by the fire.

The prospect has so depressed me that I must haste to

Brugge

The apes will leave Gibraltar next.

And I fear for the ravens, so we must watch them from

Tower Hill

Oh Maud what an elementary error. Try Tower Gateway. This is the Third Millennium, you know.

Incidentally Pingu - if you are watching, the Stranraer police have Mummy's P's seventh wedding ring in lost property. And Mummy P in the cells, yet again.

As it is the third millennium, we can make use of the DLR rule and end up at Bank. I think Irene has a genuine concern about the future of civilisation, given how much the cost of such basic essentials as champagne has risen over the past year.

Nice move but a bit risky. Let's play safe.

Gloucester Road.

talking of which - any news of the Countess since she elft Styal on tag?

Last I heard, the Countess was checking into the nearest Holiday Inn with her probation officer, the prison gardener and a job lot of cut-price pomegranates she bought off eBay. I fear for them all, but it does lead us nicely to

Covent Garden

Fifty five days into the current game and we come across the first exit only station (well at least at weekends). A time to walk around the area which is probably deserted as all the trendy young people are in a field in Somerset with their Hunter wellington boots and failing in their attempt to retain their dignity.

So the walking rule takes me back to Leicester Square and then it must be northbound on the Northern line and then the Crossrail rule is played to Bond Street for a bit of shopping. If I am not to be refused entry to the Marylebone Cricket Club next Saturday I better make sure i have the necessary attire.

Good gracious, is cricket still going on? Why?

I'm concerned about the Countess ss - it sounds like she is going to start flogging that.blue hooch again. Be warned: it's like home-distilled vodka only less gentle. I remember when she sold a crate to the FCO and there were two coups d'etat and a crash on the Stock Exchange.

So let's be wise before the event. Vale of Health

The weekend bus replacement rule and the never opened stations rule all in one move. That is probably a first in this millennium.

I have often been concerned about the FCO and its policies, even before the current Foreign Secretary took office. Now I know it is down to the Countess I can understand. Never knew of any MC player from there either which makes me suspicious.

So I think I have to play said rules again to get out of this. Via the Northern line to arrive at Colindale

Sorry, but Colindale is an obvious breach of Rule 113(f(iii)) and will be until St Swithin's Day or until Birnamn Wood do come to Dunsinane, whichever first happens on the third Thursday of an even-numbered month: we all learnt that in the twelfth year of the Introduction to MC course at the University of Salamanca. Dear Titus Oates, what a hoot he was!

Parson's Green.

The added apostrophe strikes again! The Countess would be horrified, as would Maud, or her husband who had been a prep school headteacher.

So back we return to the Vale of Health and progress gently via a multiplicity of rules to Brondesbury