Mornington Crescent....

[BratFarrarsPony]

Well as I won the last game fairly and squarely despite not being as quick as the old lags....I will start another game.

Gants Hill

To hell with that, Saints - we all see your little game and we are not having it.

And to rub the point home: Monmouth.

The Donald says our next move should be to

Stranraer

Ah yes: he told me on 20 January - during some sort of ceremony - that he planned to spend the next four years improving his Crescent skills. At the moment he is just a good amateur but to indulge him I am going to move us all to Milngavie.

I would not indulge the Donald at all. Amateur MC player or not.

So off to Galashiels which is nowhere near any of his golf courses or leisure resorts.

All right people - time to head for the safe space.

Kirkcudbright!

Well, did you evah.

Auchtermuchty

Sorry Maud but you leave me no choice. Dundee Central -hah!

Down the coast we go, over the Forth Bridge and to the new station at Edinburgh Park

Time to go back to civilisation - Carlisle it is.

To avoid retracing our steps which is surely one of the fundamentals of MC, it is down the Cumbrian Coast line I think the next move should be. I understand that Maryport is one of the nicest communities along the route. Let us hope for a nice hostelry.

Retracing is of course permitted under certain circumstances but you all know that. In any case it would take far too long to type out the various provisos to Rule 276(a)(xiii) as amended at Rio in'49 and again at Butlins (at Minehead IIRC - but I prefer to forget the whole sad story) in '67. I always thought it was a pity that the proposed amendments at Mombasa in '83 (my word, what a bash that was) did not get the two-third vote which they needed - damn that bloody Cardinal.

Let's go to Ulverston.

Pah! Enough of these rustic ramblings. They never end well, as the Air Vice Marshal will be able to confirm once the superinjunction is lifted in 2023.

Finchley Road and Frognal

Indeed. All together now, and to the tune of the Pastoral Symphony:

The country, the country, the country gets you down -
There's nothing like the country to make you want the town.

Upminster.

Apologies for the brief hiatus. We've been in Switzerland, eating our way through 39641 Lindt chocolate bunnies, and so have not been focusing on the noble game as we should. But it's not all bad. The burgermeister turned out to be quite a devotee, and was telling me about the coded references to MC in the libretto to Wilhelm Tell.

So, here goes

Pimlico

Switzerland?

Sure you have, Maud, if Switzerland is guarded by HM Prison Service. Next time please observe the terms of your parole; they mean what they say. Do not play your mouth-organ in respectable houses of ill-repute.

However, I was more than happy to make a few calls and get you out. And I have still not had to use those letters between the Cabinet Minister and the Fleet Street editor. You know, the ones written on wallpaper in second-rate Esperanto.

I knew about William Tell - who doesn't? That librettist chappie was a very subtle Crescenter. He once played Hexham immediately after Bury St Edmunds while the Jubilee Line was still in pip - and that showed more courage than I could have mustered when I was still on the amateur circuit!

However: we are where we are. And I offer you Chancery Lane.

The rail replacement rule has certainly helped this game progress over the weekend and hats off to the creative use of it.

Now the bank holidays are over it is back to using more conventional rules such as the closed lines one. So the short journey to Aldwych beckons.

Aldwych - oh, the memories. Don't worry Maud I am not going to Reveal All - not even about the Indian restaurant and the first edition of Gulliver's Travels.

Deptford

Gulliver would have enjoyed travelling on transport I am sure. Whether to an Indian restaurant or one more familiar to his palette.

I think an evening view of the Thames would be nice, and so off to Island Gardens it is.

Dear Lemuel . . . he assured me that public transport was the main pleasure of his life. And he adored Indian food. But then who doesn't?

Remaining faithful to his memory: what he called Redrith and we spell Rotherhithe.

Where are all the usual MC players? Have their misdeeds caught up with them, or has there been a round-up of those involved in the 2006 incident which happened whilst I was on holiday?

I shall move but a few stops courtesy of the London Overground and Crossrail rules to Moorgate

Saints Did your summons to the Event get lost in the post? We wondered where you where.

I obviously can't discuss it here where people not qualified will read it - so suffice it to say that the Parliamentary Under-Secretary made what was intended to be a generous contribution to the charity auction, although I am not sure who would want to be seen in the bathroom taking it off, and that the Archdeacon invoked Rule 187(xviii)(a) to rip-roaring effect, blood-curdling yells, and a disgraceful proposition from the Ambassador's third wife - the first two couldn't make it, and you will guess why.

Moorgate is a bit tame. I play the same-syllable proviso to Birmingham Moor Hill.

PS Next year's event is in the planning stage. It's in the same city as when you and I saw the President of the Royal College of Organists, no, I will leave it there.

I must apologise that I was once again detained by urgent matters of state. Such a bore, but when one is called to the palace to advise - whether Buckingham or Lambeth - one can hardly refuse.

Oh, Andrew, the Parliamentary Under-Secretary asked me to ask you kindly to return the lemon zester and the pogo stick. She says it's months since she lent them to you, and if she'd known how and where you intended to use them, she'd have said no. As it is, she's going to send them to Porton Down for decontamination.

Hillingdon

I accept your apology Maud, even though I do not move in such circles. The only Palace I ever go into is Alexandra, and even then not very often.

These new fabled air conditioned trains are a wheeze aren't they? Though I will not travel too far from Hillingdon on one this morning and arrive at Eastcote

I've finally managed to locate the 1973 guidance on MC during purdah (snap elections only). There are some rather peculiar sub-clauses (why on earth does the Circle line go into whippings?) but I think I can safely essay a diagonal pivot to

Green Park

Maud I returned them weeks ago but I got a card saying she's been moved to another "facility" - that's the euphemism used by the East Carolina Department of Corrections. What happened to them after that I know not.

Well, those of us who were there can say that the Event was a great success, can't we? Sorry about the business with the tin of sardines - a bit of a senior moment there. Still, the guinea-pig enjoyed it even if the Admiral didn't!

Sloane Square