Mornington Crescent....

[BratFarrarsPony]

Well as I won the last game fairly and squarely despite not being as quick as the old lags....I will start another game.

Gants Hill

Oh lord, 1967.

I still say that while the Bishop should not have punched the Colonel for that infamous move the Colonel's wife's retaliation was over the top. I hope it is not true that she did not even clean the toasting fork before using it again.

In honour of the diocese concerned: Carlisle.

Moving east from Carlisle is the only option as both the main route to the capital and that via Settle and Leeds have been used earlier in the game. So to begin with, a move to Hexham.

Apologies for the hiatus. Just back from Bratislava. I'm sure you'll appreciate why. ::adjusts monocle and straightens plus-fours::

Dollis Hill

Ah yes. Bratislava. How was the Latvian Ambassador? And his husband? Did they bring that bloody Peke again? One of these days that Event will be held in Korea and somebody will have it for dinner.

Until then and in honour of the House where the Rules come from Chatham.

By the way, Pingu, I was pleased to hear that Mummy P has announced her next. What does this one do apart of course from time? And are they taking him to Holloway or her to the Scrubs for the ceremony?

Surely they'll go to the Scrubs? The common provides such an attractive backdrop to the photos - not that the bride and groom will be in them of course, each being handcuffed to their armed escort and unable to go anywhere unless in an armoured vehicle with helicopter cover. Still, I'm sure they'll be able to find enough flowers for a bouquet in the prison garden.

Thinking of Her Majesty's many places of incarceration

Lewes

I went near the Scrubs a few weeks ago on a train but did not see it out of the window.

Lewes is known for the wonderful creation known as Harvey's Bitter and for their large scale commemoration of the 1605 Gunpowder Plot each November 5th. Time to move back in time as it were and play the pre-Beeching rule again, which takes me to the delights of Uckfield. Plenty of flowers to pick should Mummy P not find any near the Scrubs.

And continuing the whistle stop tour of penitentiaries (something of a theme here)

Exeter St David's

I think that we should be trying to get back to London even with the traumas of weekend engineering works. There will be a hat to buy if an invite to the wedding comes, and an Oyster Card to top-up.

There is apparently this strange thing called a contactless bank card, which you can use to travel in London without buying a ticket. Or even a mobile Apple phone.

I digress, to quote the late Ronnie Corbett, a fine MC player I understand. Barnes Bridge it is, having come via Aldershot and Staines.

Bridges are good especially Putney Bridge which has real class.

However, I am concerned to learn - never mind how - about a certain vicious rumour which is going around in MC circles.

I must make three matters clear.

First, it was a red squirrel, not a grey.
Second, it was the Club Class cabin, not the First Class.
And third, the Viscountess apologised profusely afterwards.

I hope that that's the last we hear of it.

The only Rumours we should be interested in is the album/CD of that name by Fleetwood Mac.

Quite a lot of musicians apparently live in SW6 and so we should tarry a while, so it is to Barnes we now move.

Who is Mr or Ms Mac and how came s/he to have such an outlandish forename?

Roehampton - but then that was obvious bearing in mind the date and the barometer.

I think I heard some time ago that young Master Jagger lives in Barnes or thereabouts. Charming lad, but will never make it into the upper tiers of MC until he gets the hang of the Perkins Parallax. It was his downfall at the Helsinki playoffs in '73, you'll no doubt recall.

Let's keep it leafy

Kew Gardens

No move, just a photo of where we are now.

How delightful, Saints, but you really should have played a move. Now you'll be in drubbings until noon.

Ealing Broadway

Too early for that Maud but I will be merciful and play Ealing Broadway.

Master Jagger will never make it in MC - too old, too fat, and no understanding of the Fourth Dimension. I'd forgotten about him at Helsinki '73 but then there was an awful lot going on - wasn't there, Saints? How long did the bruising take to fade? His, not yours!

I will make a move now it is after noon, and move to Royal Oak.

Wrong tree. Elm Park

Time to play the rail replacement bus rule as it is a weekend, which means that we can end up in Newbury Park. No idea of the kind of trees in the local park there.

Saints. That is careless of you. You have triggered Parry's Proviso (it is the first of the month as well as the weekend) and driven us out of the metropolis to the nearest provincial Newbury - namely the battle-site in Berkshire.

The Rear-Admiral sends her regards. She says the unpaid work that the court ordered is proving less arduous than she expected but it makes her thighs ache. I didn't ask for more details in case I got them.

Time to get back to London sometime this week. Before the members of ASLEF upset the applecart again. We may need the help of the Rear Admiral at some point.

Surbiton

I suppose that's sort of London. Time for a touch of class, though: Hainault

Dear God! It can only be

Mill Hill East

That's a very nasty place at any time of the year but in the first half of April . . . we need to get away now. Eastbourne.

For pity's sake, Andrew! How many more times must we tell you?

Ramsgate

Ah, time for the high speed train at normal speed. To go and watch a gentle game of cricket and mourn the loss of the famous tree at the county ground (the ground has some fancy sponsor's name no doubt).

Canterbury West