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Original poster

What did you do about your wedding gifts? i.e. lists, vouchers etc

39 replies

AnguaVonUberwald · 09/02/2007 11:46

Getting married in March and seen some interesting threads around from brides and guests about what to do for wedding gifts so I am just wondering what other people did.

Our dilema is: Don't really have a list of stuff we want, as planning to move house, so don't know what will suite etc.

Having some pressure to provide a wedding list for my mothers side as "people want to buy us something we want." and these are not people I would be in any way comfortable suggesting vouchers to.

Don't want to proscribe what people should buy us. (or what they should spend)

Would prefer vouchers but feel its really rude to just say "we want vouchers." and not offer alternatives. (plus vouchers show exactly what people spent which puts pressure on them, which I don't like)

Very happy if people buy us whatever they want, and will put up with toasters etc as a consequence.

Muddling through it here by suggesting something to people who want suggestions. And telling everyone vouchers/can suggest something/or anything you want to get us. Depending on who they are and what signals they are giving out.

Just wondered what other people did/are doing.

OP posts:
Pruni · 09/02/2007 11:52

Message withdrawn

Tommy · 09/02/2007 11:54

we had a list at Debenhams - we put a whole dinner service on it which we wouldn't have been able to afford otherwise but also some cheaper things. We also said that since we'd just moved we would apprceiate some B&Q vouchers.

It's a tricky one but I think most guests prefer to know that they can buy you something you actually want - especially if they are rellies who might not know your taste

Tommy · 09/02/2007 11:55

that's a good idea though Pruni

Original poster
AnguaVonUberwald · 09/02/2007 11:58

pruni

That is a lovely idea.

I do know what you mean Tommy but we are both working people who have most basic stuff we need. The other stuff really needs to go with the new house, which we haven't found yet.

We are getting a dinner service BTW, because my mother decided we needed one and has coordinated her side of the family to buy bits of it. But she chose it, decided which bits to buy etc!

N.B. I also don't want people to feel like they HAVE to buy us something. Its a GIFT - i.e. voluntary, and, as mentioned by someone else on another thread today, some people are spending quite a lot of money just to attend.

OP posts:
Pruni · 09/02/2007 11:59

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wurlywurly · 09/02/2007 12:01

We had moved in together, dh was made redundant, we had ds1 then got married all in the space of 16 months, so when people asked us if they could get us things we asked for B&Q vouchers, which helped us pay for redecorating that we needed.

Pruni · 09/02/2007 12:03

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Original poster
AnguaVonUberwald · 09/02/2007 12:03

Pruni

I completely agree. Friends of ours did it, and while I see why they did it, and it worked out well for them in terms of presents, I am not sure its worth it, WRT relationships and friendships.

I don't think I have actually told anybody yet that we just want vouchers. Like you say, it seems grasping and I would HATE for people to spend more than they planned to, because vouchers show exactly how much you have spent.

OP posts:
Pruni · 09/02/2007 12:04

Message withdrawn

Original poster
AnguaVonUberwald · 09/02/2007 12:05

WurlyWurly, like I said earlier, I think vouchers are a great idea in principle, but I would worry about doing it in practice, and there are certainly plenty of people coming to the wedding that I wouldn't be comfortable asking for vouchers.

How did it work out for you?

OP posts:
FluffyMummy123 · 09/02/2007 12:05

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Pruni · 09/02/2007 12:06

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Original poster
AnguaVonUberwald · 09/02/2007 12:06

What do you mean Icod?

OP posts:
Original poster
AnguaVonUberwald · 09/02/2007 12:43

Anyone else?

OP posts:
superloopy · 09/02/2007 12:55

We asked for and were given cash.

We live in London but got married in Australia where my family are. Everyone understood that were didn't want the hassle of bringing gifts back to the UK.

12 months after we got married we finally bought our own flat and with our wedding money we were able to go out and buy all of our furniture, appliances, white goods etc with the money which we had been given.

It was the perfect solution for us as we had lived together before we were married but in rental places that were fully furnished and we didn't have "stuff"!!

CheesyFeet · 09/02/2007 12:57

In the wedding invitations we said that as we had already set up home we would prefer vouchers as we were going to revamp our bathroom, or alternatively a contribution towards the wedding itself - not money but eg my uncle drives a nice car so he was chauffeur for the day, my friend's Dad is a photographer so they paid for the photographs etc etc

PandaG · 09/02/2007 13:02

WE did a homemade list too. Got married straight out of uni and had nothing. Got a couple of small notebooks and put an item on per page, so books could be cirvulated round those who asked for them, and the relevant page torn out. Items varied from a lemon squeezer and set of wooden spoons, to a hoover. Not much help to you though as you have all that type of thing.

Porpoise · 09/02/2007 13:05

We had a wine list
Highly recommend it!

brimfull · 09/02/2007 13:06

We had a homemade one ,still ended up with loads of the same things

FluffyMummy123 · 09/02/2007 13:06

Message withdrawn

daisynut · 09/02/2007 13:07

we had a list at argos, had load son htere- ranging for £300 odd (like we were going to get that! to £5) most people thou tbh just got us argos vouchers which we were more than happy with

PeachyClair · 09/02/2007 13:09

We did argos because it was cheap, our families arew not rich etc etc- but lots of people (wonderful ones) bought two or three things, so we could have gone a bit mroe upmarket in retrospect- however we wanted to make it clear we weren't after expensive presents!

One friend bought off the list- a gorgeous Poole pottery teapot- and I treasure that.

Vouchers were on our list.

A friend chose a piece of furniture (a dresser) in a shop and people put down donations- great idea.

Not sure who gets it in the divorce now though

CupidsWineBuyer · 09/02/2007 13:10

we had a list at habitat

I don't think there was anything on it for more than forty quid

it had wine glasses and garden chairs and then all kinds of malarkey that we just fancied when we went in the shop - we'd been together eight years so we used it to start 'upgrading' our stuff (eg having more than one tumbler that matched)

We did put '£10 voucher' on the list so people could choose that if they wanted; and a few people did

Original poster
AnguaVonUberwald · 09/02/2007 13:10

Its interesting how much difference the internet has made to weddings. I had not heard of home made lists before.

LOVE the idea of a wine list. Will definitly have to suggest that one to DP.

OP posts:
PeachyClair · 09/02/2007 13:10

When a friend did her list, she used a receipt book with an item on each page- when you bought it you tore out the page and so there was no danger of repeat. Easy!

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