What did you do about your wedding gifts? i.e. lists, vouchers etc

[AnguaVonUberwald]

Getting married in March and seen some interesting threads around from brides and guests about what to do for wedding gifts so I am just wondering what other people did.

Our dilema is: Don't really have a list of stuff we want, as planning to move house, so don't know what will suite etc.

Having some pressure to provide a wedding list for my mothers side as "people want to buy us something we want." and these are not people I would be in any way comfortable suggesting vouchers to.

Don't want to proscribe what people should buy us. (or what they should spend)

Would prefer vouchers but feel its really rude to just say "we want vouchers." and not offer alternatives. (plus vouchers show exactly what people spent which puts pressure on them, which I don't like)

Very happy if people buy us whatever they want, and will put up with toasters etc as a consequence.

Muddling through it here by suggesting something to people who want suggestions. And telling everyone vouchers/can suggest something/or anything you want to get us. Depending on who they are and what signals they are giving out.

Just wondered what other people did/are doing.

Check out the refund policy of local department stores.

Those that refund without question (eg M&S) are the ones to go with.

Return 300 toasters asap and get vouchers.

Huzzah! everyone happy.

Agua, it's FAB!
Lots of wine firms will run the list for you - and keep the bottles in their cellars if you like.
We used Berry Bros & Rudd (in London)
And every time we uncorked a new bottle, we drank a toast to the giver. So much nicer than a kettle.

Please dont do a gift list. I hate them, I hate it even more when I get them in my bloomin invite

At the risk of becoming a bore (there's another thread about wedding presents), have a think about
this

We were quite skint when we got married so asked close friends if their gift could be to help with the wedding itself, ie; friend into photography did the photo's, friend with nice car lent it to us, one good at baking made the cake etc, and some brought food for a bbq 'reception', all quite informal but the effort made by friends made it really special.

I know that it can seem a bit presumptuous, and the concept takes a bit of getting used to, but I actually think they are a good thing.

When I go to a wedding, I really like to get something that I know they will want. Invariably these days I give cash, because I reckon that they can choose what to spend it on. I think a lot of guests do give cash for that reason.

And really I think you would be surprised how generous most people are and how much goodwill there is. Wedding presents are a very long tradition. People feel so grateful for the stuff they got when they started out that they want to give to others.

I would probably nominate some ideas for vouchers/cash towards x. A lot of people I know getting married later in life have said something along the lines of

"We don't want anyone to feel they have to give a present, but if you do want to give something then any contributions to the 'doing up the house fund' would be appreciated very much"

Probably worded a bit better than that though.

The thing is people do want to give presents and providing a gift list does make things convenient for people. Obviously people do not have to buy from it and when inserted in an invite it often says that.

However, if you don't need anything then I think vouchers can work well. People are alot more used to it these days so don't resent it so much. If you phrase the request properly it will be fine.

But, when I got married alot of people wanted to buy us something special that we would keep our whole lives (cutlery/vases etc - not bedding and towels) so you may need to come up with a list of things to tell people if they ask.

I don't know how minimalist you are but regardless of what your new house is like there will always be simple pieces you could ask for that would fit in any home (nice wine glasses, cooking stuff etc)

OK, so tell everyone to buy from stores with good refund policies (Must think of another reason to give). (thanks wonderingtrolly)

Porpoise, just love the idea, I think I will suggest it if people coming in the evening ask what to get. (not put it in invites or anything, just if people ask)

LieselVentouse - that is exactly what I am worried about, I want people to feel free to get whatever they want and not feel pressurised by any wedding list.

Hassled - will definitly keep it in mind.

Timefortea - would love to do that. My mother is doing the photography as her gift, but unfortunatly no-one else seems to have the right connections.

Cloudhopper. Some people are getting us cash and I am saying its an option to people, (when I feel its appropriate), but don't want to push it and just say - cash or vouchers.

Dassie

What I am trying to do with that is think of things and then suggest it to individuals when they ask. So for example my sister wanted an idea and I suggested cocktail glasses. Now because I haven't picked specific ones in a shop, she is free to find them at her own price etc. (and she works in a restaurant so turns out can get good deals on them)

We are getting married in July, hate the idea of a gift list. Vouchers/cash - ew. We are not millionaires but we are doing ok, and already live together. But I know people DO want to buy a gift even if you ask not to.

A friend of mine suggested asking everyone to buy a Xmas decoration (but wedding is in July so think will be too hard for people) and another friend asked everyone to get buy them their favourite DVD! Cool!

Personally, I don't think its too much to ask for people we know to take some time in thinking about what we might like (if they want to buy a gift at all). Might do the Oxfam thing for relatives etc or something similar to earlier suggestion (eg we like wine, our favourite colours are blue and silver etc)

We had a little notebook with a list of ideas for those who asked. It had tear out pages and there were very few specifics, and nothing with "this must be bought at this shop" type stuff. It was more general such as white bath sheets and towels, garden hose, food mixer, white sheets, spare bedding set (gave colour), wine glasses (clear, not cut glass type), etc.

I like the idea of tear off page ideas such as a day out at..., type things.

We did this

We ahd just combined two houses and had far too much stuff.

About a third fo the guests gave to the charity, a third gave vouchers and a third bought (really good) presents that we would never have asked for. One inspired friend bought us vouchers for 10 trips to the cinema with baby sitting provided!

I really don't like giving vouchers for two reasons, firstly we gave them to a work colleague, she wanted Next vouchers and every time I saw her wearing ner nice new coat I though "I've bought that" and when my mate got married she asked for Argos vouchers, I was at hers near to Christmas and her son announced that he had seen the bike he wanted at Halfords, then added "but I have to get the one in Argos, don't I?"

Its bad form to put gift lists with the invites; they're supposed to be if requested only. Older people can be a bit offended by lists in invites!

Hula baby thats what we did. My mum kept a list of things from egg cups to whatever and she marked off if people phoned and asked what to buy but we never did lists cause I hate the bloody things.