Once more unto the breach, dear friends: more Mornington Crescent

[MyNightWithMaud]

Now we have had a little pause, in which to mull over the highs and lows of the last game and possibly rethink our strategies, might it be nice to start again?

I've been reflecting on what the vice-consul said in Ouagadougou in '67. She was quite right, after all, and so I shall disregard the naysayers and offer you a Musgrave's Collateral to

Oxford Circus

Not if I can help it slinky. When faced with Knightsbridge under a waxing moon, an experienced player will risk all with Crichton's codicil, version 11 and take all those still standing to Pimlico. The dear Colonel taught me that move in Mombasa- amongst many others - but one rarely gets the opportunity to play it. That should have sorted the wheat from the chaff!

And as we are also in what my trader friends dub contango, I shall move us gracefully to

Bank

Excellent move, Maud. I have fond memories of a Bank-follows-Pimlico sequence which ended with three nuns joining the army. Ah, the stories I could tell you...

But to the matter in hand. In line with the six previous amendments to the footnotes in the appendices of Volume IV, I'll follow the example laid out in the now-decoded chapter and play Waterloo. East.

Waterloo East . . . dear lord, Giraffes, have you forgotten that althought the moon is waxing it is not yet at First Quarter?

This crisis calls for an Adumbrated Turkington on the diagonal and the only one possible which will not get the game embroigled is Newbury.

Andrew I am convinced that a Turkington played on the diagonal, adumbrated or not, is not permitted after the first frosts and you are dangerously close to a breach! Might I suggest you reconsider?

No frosts here yet, dementedma - and in any event since the Rules Revision of '34 that tule only applies to frosts in Accra. I thought everyone knew that.

However in the spirit of conciliation I will move to the safe and generally acceptable haven of Athlone.

Oh Athlone, fond, fond memories of a November evening many years ago. The full moon shone through the scudding clouds, a fire blazed in the cottage hearth. There was me, a bottle of Dalwinnie and there in the doorway, a few flakes of early snow in his dark hair stood...
Well you all know, so I won't bore you.
From there a melancholy Drewitts impasse to Alnmouth.

I'm not entirely sure Alnmouth is a permitted move under rule 53/54ish but I can't be arsed to check the rulebook so shall give the benefit of the doubt and just move straight to Hounslow East.

It's more than permitted - it is as subtle as the first part of the epilogue to War and Peace set to the music of Lohengrin played backwards.

Which is more than I can say for the last offering - oh dear. Isn't that station near one of those aerodrome places?

Micheldever

If we are talking about War and Peace then we should move to a place associated with the military, and so its off to Portsmouth Harbour

Oh phooey.

Catterick

Are we playing with the Cavendish Amendment?

If so, and given that we've already established the necessity of abiding by rule 53/54ish, then I suggest Rugby.

I've always found the Cavendish a bit de trop. Some of its provisions - especially the restrictions on consuming pomegranates while wearing espadrilles if the Victoria line is in stebbings (which it so often is) - seem unnecessarily restrictive to me. I did sign the petition to get it repealed, but, alas, we need another 679 signatures before it can be debated in Parliament.

Be that as it may

Northwick Park

Good lord, how wonderful to find such an affable bunch playing today! So in the spirit of a sunny Autumn day I give you Wimbledon.

Don't be fooled Polly. Play can quickly become vicious and one must keeps one's wits sharp at all times. For example, this simple lunge to Victoria.....

Such aggression within fifty moves of the start . . . this is going to be dirty. I hope.

Before I make my move: I saw two more of the Snobs on the platform at East Putney: Mr and Mrs Bajja-Zarsis and their son Rufus.

But I left them standing there and hurried on to Heysham.

Well if you want it rough Andrew let me sort the men from the boys with a Camden bypass and a double fellatio to chalk farm

As often use in those parts Ma. Well there is as said by Andrew, it looks to be a dirty game. Not descending to the depths of the Whitley Bay biennial of 86. A&E at the RVI was backed up for days, it took some delicate surgery to remove the Orpington trophy from Brigader Eden-fnarrfarquarson's person. Mater sported a blooming black eye courtesy of the countess. Sadly it led to my rapid departure from Lady Harriet's School for semi delinquent daughters of the gentry.
So in memory of the days when you wore a hard hat in regional competition. Wood Green.

Good God - this is bringing back memories of that ghastly night in Madeira with the tuning fork and calamari. I still bear the scar.

I suppose my only option is a dampened slither to Harrow and Wealdstone; a nasty move, I know, but the alternative is even more gruesome.

The only redeeming feature of Whitley Bay was that so many of the local Bench were among the walking wounded (not to mention the editor of the Whitley Weekly Witterings) that the whole business was easily hushed up. No internet in those days.

I could be wrong (although that has not happened in my memory) but I think I saw MummyPingu at the Zoo last week. I tried to persuade the keepers that she was on the wrong side of the bars and a menace to the wildlife but when they told me why they had put her there I had to see their point. She's a wonderful type but some fool had given her a green fruit-gum and, and, no, let's leave it there, there may be younger players around who do not need to hear any more. Pingu, where were you . . . or perhaps I don't want to know.

Damn H and W, Irene, you ought to know better. It's time for us all to be cleansed in the fires of Halifax.

Before I make a fool of myself trying a tango in Halifax, I think I should move to the larger Yorkshire metropolis of Leeds for a morning cuppa. Strange how you can now get Yorkshire tea- never could as a child, perhaps this is the effect of climate change?

It's not climate change - its the Iron Lady. Everything - good, bad, and indifferent - is down to Her.

Saints: your mention of the tango makes it obligatory to follow the cleaned-up version of a famous dirty film. Time for a Last Waltz in Worthing.

Well, if we are focussing on fancy footwork, and why not, an eight some reel in Edinburgh should get the blood flowing. Waverley, naturally, not Haymarket, from where several MC era were barred in the great stramash of '56 when the Moderator tried the highland fling with out due care to kilt waft and the spectacle caused the Lady McTavish to faint clean away! Why a night that was.

As so often, I am irresistibly drawn by the Mighty Wurlitzer in the Tower Ballroom, to be found in the vicinity of

Blackpool North

Is not Haymarket the Caledonian equivalent to "getting off at Fratton" in which case what is the equivalent to Portsmouth whither the train sometimes goes?

Be that as it may - Hawick.