I think judging people for their life choices is right - it is certainly the lifeblood of an internet discussion board

[Twiglett]

discuss

PMSL at UD thinking that his DD is going to be talking to him when she's 17

no its not Bugsy

tell me something you have an opinion about

I will bet my bottom dollar that someone somewhere would consider any opinion you hold to be a judgement of their life / life's choices

If she turns out anything like those awful teenagers in the Guardian Family section column then I almost hope she doesn't!

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interesting point, nutcracker. had a good discussion with some pupils today about whether single parents should have benefits cut once dcs reach 11. even they could see that the parent left holding the baby is the caring one. later today, had a conversation about a parent who is PROUD of her 14 yo daughter being pregnant, wants all staff to know so that the girl can have special treatment & doesn't understand why her daughter has to come to school instead of being givena private tutor! so, sometimes it is hard not to judge.

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Pruni: I am being embrasssingly slow with reading, still only halfway thru - sorry, too much else going on in life at the moment, not all good!

I think it's only natural to form an opinion of someone based on their life choices - if that's judging then yes, it is right. Equally, it's only natural that most people won't give two hoots what people who have judged them think!

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Lordy Kickass!
My malingering fat cousin whinges about the fact that she can't get an appointment straight away to see a dietician to discuss her hefty nether regions.

on a slight tangent, if you post on an internet dicussion board do you expect or even, possibly, secretly DESIRE to be judged?

Agree with Pruni

And LOL at Moondog's judging of her cousin's hefty nether regions

I think judgements made about life choices are a judgement of the judger as well as a judgement of the judged. This judging thing works both ways!

You risk revealing too much about yourself (IMO) if you make a superficial judgement on mumsnet based on someone's life choice. So I don't do it a lot, but love reading what others say.

The point is...quite a lot of people patently aren't doing their best for their children,but Lord forbid that someone should point it out!

Well, as you ask Twig, I have opinions about lots of things. I think it is important to feed children healthy food for example. However, I am able to hold that opinion without judging those who don't feed their kids, what I consider to be healthy food.
I hate smacking, really hate it - but I am able to appreciate that some parents do it, that I can't change that & that just because I disagree with it as a parenting technique - doesn't actually qualify me to judge them in anyway.

i try not to judge people, but i do try to understand them.
it would be very tedious if we were all the same.

Just because it's a widespread phenomenon doesn't mean it is right per se. It is difficult not to think of one's own values/opinions as the right way but that's not to say we shouldn't fight the temptation sometimes, imo. Sometimes there's more than one right way and sometimes myriad life circumstances and experiences conspire to keep people dealing with difficult things or unable to move forward with their lives, temporarily or long term, ime. I tend to think thank fuck that's not me right now though I do sometimes have to repress unfairly judgemental thoughts. I have a bit of a there but for the grace of god (if i believed in god which i don't. Am stalled half way through Dawkins too, pruni.) thing. I think my life is good basically because I've been lucky rather than because I've done anything major to deserve a good life. Not putting myself down- I think i do fine- but basically I've had love and happiness from other people in a non poverty stricken environment. Who am i to judge, frankly? Don't you worry about potentially being seen as haughty and unattractively sure of yourselves, all you "we love to judge" types? Or don't you mind, in the spirit of expecting to be judged for your life choices?

so you're not really scummy?! but i've been judging you! [gutted]

Scummy,I am more than happy to be judged in turn (and believe me,am plenty,both in RL and on MN)

hello Scummy - haven't seen you for ages! Very much agree with the "who am I to judge?" question.

You see Scummy - we do all judge - you have judged us as potentially 'haughty and unattractively sure of ourselves', and we can thereby judge you as being in denial of your judgemental status.

depends what you mean by scummy, aitch.

Yes, I do get that sense from you actually, md. Your online persona reminds me a lot of Gillian McKeith. Quite passionate about her beliefs, has a sense of humour and keen to envangelise. Not beyond a bit of shit stirring but basically out to straight talk people for their own good and happy to be judged on that basis. Some thrive on her no nonsense approach, others feel crushed but the latter is the price she's prepared to pay for the former.