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Original poster

What do you all make of this?

40 replies

lou33 · 09/06/2004 17:04

Dd1 had a project at school, in which she had to pair up with another child a build a castle. Her and the other girl cam home to mine and planned it all out, then went to other girl's house,as this child said her neighbour had lots of odds and ends of wood, etc ,lying about and had agreed to help build it. Hoorah I thought. So the castle was built and sprayed and apparently looks fine and dandy, and is in school. Now dd1 has come home from school , saying her friend says we have to pay for half of the materials used, and that she cannot bring it home for us to see until she does.

I am cross. Not because we have to pay, but because, nothing was mentioned about money in the beginning ( we were given the impression it was all leftovers they were using),and the girl in question is asking for the money. I told dd1 to ask her friend to get the mum to call me, but she keeps coming back with messages allegedly from the mum, saying we have to pay. It isn't a huge amount, but I think this is something I need to hear from an adult, not a child. We can't call her because she refuses to give out her number, and tbh I don't see why I should have to make the effort to go round and talk about it, seeing as she has landed this bill on us. We have never met btw.

If she rings and talks to me we will pay , but I don't want to take the word of a 12 year old for it. Am also aggrieved that she is telling dd that she won't be able to bring it home unless we stump up.

Am I being silly?

OP posts:
dinosaur · 09/06/2004 17:07

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Jimjams · 09/06/2004 17:08

Could you send a note to the mother via the girl. or give the girl a cheque made payable to the mother (the note could ask what name the cheque should be written out to). Sounds like the friend is trying to make a bit of extra cash to me!

If it is a genuine request then it sounds a bit strange!

Blu · 09/06/2004 17:12

Highly fishy! Who is stopping her bring it home - the school? V unlikely!

Freckle · 09/06/2004 17:13

I'd write a note to the mother (and not send it home with her daughter!) asking for clarification. Explain that it was suggested that the wood was bits and pieces left over from other jobs and you are a bit surprised to receive a request for payment at this late state. Point out that you are perfectly happy to pay but would have appreciated matters being made clear at the outset. Ask her to whom the cheque should be made out.

Blu · 09/06/2004 17:14

Do you think your DD could be being bullied/blackmailed by this girl? What would happen if you went directly and met the girl out of school and suggested the cheque strategy? that woiuld relieve your DD of the embarrassment of being a messenger for this girl. Or is there any possibility that the story is beginning with your DD who is hankering after some extra cash?

Original poster
lou33 · 09/06/2004 17:18

Thanks all. DD is upset that this girl is saying she can't have the castle, but that's about it. We have told her not to argue about it, just to pass the message on that we need to speak to an adult before we pay any money out. I could send a note, but I don't know it would get to the mum. The school isn't stopping her from bringing it home, but the girl has said she can't. Dd1 is not good at standing up for herself (unles at home), and this girl is quite forceful by all accounts. Usually a family that is avoided from what I have heard.

The mum just refuses to have her number given out, so we cannot call her. And like I said I am not running round there , as I feel if it is genuine she wouldn't mind asking me herself.

OP posts:
codswallop · 09/06/2004 17:20

Is this history?
I never made mine make a cstle and PAY!

Original poster
lou33 · 09/06/2004 17:21

Sorry , extra posts while I was posting!

I don't think dd is after any cash, she seems quite upset by it all. I wouldn't give it to her anyway! If they want the money I would send it to them not via dd1.

Freckle I may do as you suggest, but I suppose I am feeling a bit stubborn as well, in the fact that I think they should come to us to ask, and I shouldn't be running about trying to clear it up.

OP posts:
Original poster
lou33 · 09/06/2004 17:23

Yes Coddy it is. Apparently the castle was sprayed with some sort of textured spray paint, and they used 2 cans. Am assuming it is life sized .

OP posts:
Blu · 09/06/2004 17:24

Sounds like the girl trying to extract ££ from your DD. You are not being at all silly. Whether it's the girl or the Mum, it's outrageous.
Building a castle seems quite an onerous and potentially expennsive task, and I think the school could usefully give some thought to this when setting up partnership projects...like 'agree in advance how much money can / can't be spent and make sure both families agree'. Could you mention this at next parents evening or whatever?

codswallop · 09/06/2004 17:26

did they do this at school? think there is sonesort of law saying ouy cant charge for school activities like text books and so on

Original poster
lou33 · 09/06/2004 17:30

No it was a half term homework. Tbh when she told me who she had paired up with I thought she was mad. She has other friends who are a lot easier to get on with. Have never clapped eyes on the mum in my life, and only spoken to her once on the phone, when I asked the girl to get her to call me, as aforementioned girl had said it was ok for my dd to go round there, but I wanted to hear it from an adult.

OP posts:
agy · 09/06/2004 22:55

Could you ask the teacher about it? Wonder if she could sort something out with the other mum.

bobs · 09/06/2004 23:04

Why don't you just turn up on the other girl's doorstep mid evening and speak to her mum? - best get it cleared up asap

Original poster
lou33 · 09/06/2004 23:22

I doubt the school would want to get involved.

I dont se whay I should be running around after her either tbh. She still hasnt called btw

OP posts:
aloha · 09/06/2004 23:28

I'd leave it. You don't want a giant spray painted castle cluttering up your house anyway! Or at least, I wouldn't. If your dd is proud of it and wants you to see it, why not pick her up from school and pop into the classroom to admire it. Don't let them make their problem into your problem. By doing nothing you put the ball back in your court. Do make sure though that your dd understands that if the girl starts to pressurise her or bully her, then she must tell you straight away and you will handle it. At which point I think the school should know.

islandgirl · 09/06/2004 23:32

Make a positive out of it - build a glitzier castle - in fact, challenge the other family to a castle building competition....!!!!!

Original poster
lou33 · 09/06/2004 23:33

Am thinking that way aloha. I have told her about the pressure bit already. She wants the kids to see it too though, that's the thing.

Will mull it over tonight.

OP posts:
Original poster
lou33 · 09/06/2004 23:33

Lol island girl!

OP posts:
spacemonkey · 09/06/2004 23:38

You're not being silly! How bloody annoying. Agree with aloha. I also agree that you shouldn't have to go round to this girl's house, but it might be the quickest way to sort the situation out ...

robinw · 10/06/2004 05:18

message withdrawn

JJ · 10/06/2004 06:01

Lou, is it at the school? Does your daughter want to show it off to you?

Maybe you could go in and ooh and ahh and take pictures, then leave it. (This is speaking as the mother of a 6 yo boy; not sure if it'd work for a 12 yo girl!)

Original poster
lou33 · 10/06/2004 09:16

The point is Robin, we were told it was all being done from leftover bits and pieces. There was no discussion about spending £15 on paint! It isn't a lot of money , but it is for a small supposedly homemade castle that wasn't supposed to cost anything!. HAve sent dd off to school today, telling her she must tell this girl to get her mum to call dh. Am giving up and letting him deal with it!

Might well just pop into the school, if the girl doesn't whip it home before I have time.

Spacemonkey, the family are weird, I don't want to go round. Project girl shaved her eyebrows off for the fun of it the other day, mum sounds of similar ilk.

OP posts:
spacemonkey · 10/06/2004 09:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

agy · 10/06/2004 09:34

It was the school that dreamed up the idea in the first place, they blooming well ought to help sort it! How you're gonna sort out final ownership though I can't imagine!

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