midlife crisis anyone?????????????

[happycat]

I think that my dh is going through a midlife crisis and I don't know what to do.
Questions

1. how long does it last
2. what are the symptoms 3.what can I do to help then? He is driving me nuts at the moment he is never happy with anything, seems restless and I really think he dosen't feel like being a family man at the moment.I feel like a mother with a bloody stroppy tenage Kevin on my hands.Some male input would also be great

I will pay special attention to this thread, I am going through it at the moment... wish I can see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. Can't provide male input though...

Has he bought a sports car?

sorry not being flip, I believe that is one of the symptoms along with having haircuts that are too young for you, wearing teenager type clothes etc

well I though I was too.I can't seem to stop looking at young girls and wishing I was like that again.I keep buying trendier clothes now and I feel like I am slipping into middle age.Can't stop buying make up just wanna hold on to being younger for a bit longer I suppose.I don't think that I am giving him grief though or needing to neglect being with my kids( apart from spending the whole afternoon on here)

No girls don't get it we just hate getting old. Men have genuine crisis where they become v odd.
What are his symptoms?

CountessDracular he hasn't brought a sports car but if he had the money he would be right there on the forecourt as we post

Haircut?

Oh God! I have it!, I'm already searching for a sports car (not that I can afford it), and spent yesterday's evening fantasising about nominating myself for Chanel4's Ten years younger..

Symptoms include

Never knowing what he wants to do
seems restless when we are having family time (even bored)
even emotional
never seems happy
feels restricted by being a family man
He just looks depressed most of the time.
He takes me for granted (and I hate it)

He says its not me its him.I can't seem to be able to help him though

What does he mean it's him? Has he told you what about him it is? Does he say he's fed up with being tied down with kids etc? Or could it be an external influence eg hates his job

These of course are my words he hasn't told me he dosen't enjoy are family time but I can tell.Obviously he thinks I enjoy looking after 3 kids and cleaning,washing,ironing,more bloody washing and there is no way I would rather be out with my mates enjoying myself

Buy him a skateboard and some pads, then drop him off at the local skatepark.
Worked for me

We had some troubles a couple of weeks ago and I feel a bit insecure at the moment and said that he is not behaving like he really wants to be with me and he swears that he loves me and cares

Thanks for that Tom I will take him to toys r us pront.I thought women were the complicated ones

Not toys r us! The boards are useless toys - he'll kill himself! Go to a proper skateshop where the staff all look like Marilyn Manson and only grunt at you!!
Seriously tho - sport is good relief. What's he into (and what was he into when he was 18?)

It wasn't women so I can be grateful for that and yes he is into sport.Depends how he is this weekend may take him to toys r us anyway.

happycat could you get someone to look after the kids and get a night away for some time together?

Thats a good idea, if you have relatives that can take care of your teenager, even a weekend away may well do the trick

Mr and Mrs Patterson are busy this week end

thankyou for that CountessDracula but DD is still quite little and won't be left with anyone else just yet plus we couldn't afford it at the moment

My DH is just the same - monosyllabic and grumpy. I cannot do anything right and he's snapping at the kids all the time - I TOO am beginning to wonder whether or not he wants to be with us.
He's either at the gym or out in the garden - but won't come in and see us !

Then at the other end of the scale I have DS - who is being hit by his hormones and also treating us all badly .... who said that life was a bowl of cherries ?!

I just wish I had the luxury of poncing off and having a midlife crisis myself .... toe-rings, blue nail varnish and crop tops !!!

We have set up a a time for ourselves, send baby to sleep, and then open a bottle of wine and talk about our day. It definitively help.

Going back to the original posting, do you think that there may ba situation that may cause him this feeling of not wanting to be a family man? for example he would like to change jobs and feel he can't because it could set up a strain on the family? or he may want to do something interesting but can not find the time to do it?

Guess I'm projecting myself here...

Yes crystaltips but women seem to be accepting and adult about problems I suppose(that was not intended to put men down though just pointing out that we are so different in the way we handle things). I would like to pull together with him on this and help but I can't get in he has his head in the sand and I fell like it is all my fault when he shuts me out.He did say that he feels like life is passing him by

I feel like life is passing me by too but as you said crystaltips I can't flounce off either.No one would look after my children for a start and it's not fair on them.I just feel like I have got to be the responsilble one and hold it all together on my own