Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

HELP - I'm a jealous, miserable, thirty-something year old cow...

29 replies

GreenEyes · 01/06/2004 16:10

Please help me stop feeling this way

In theory I have nothing to be unhappy about: have nice house/ healthy happy kids/ lovely DH' good job/ no financial worries...blah...blah..blah...

And yet I just can't seem to grow up and accept my age and lifestage.

When I was younger I was fit, attractive and enjoyed being a flirt and had quite a few boyfriends, and now I just feel older, married and just so unhappy at the thought of never having any of that 'old life' again.

Two things have just made me realise this.
Two (single) blokes who I work with (one the same age as me, and the other about 6 years younger) have both recently confided to me that they are having relationships with girls in our office, and needless to say, both the girls are young, attractive, with no responsibilities etc.

I can't believe how intensely jealous I feel!! I suppose part of it is also that both thsee blokes are office 'mates' of mine, and therefore I feel sort of that I'm going to 'lose' them.

Sometimes I feel so guilty 'cos I just want to be 25 again, go out, get pissed, get laid and not worry about anything or anyone else the following morning.

OP posts:
Original poster
GreenEyes · 01/06/2004 16:11

OK - and I guess I probably secretly fancied them both, but obviously didn't act on it....

OP posts:
secur · 01/06/2004 16:18

Message withdrawn

champs · 01/06/2004 16:18

human nature I'm afraid greenr grass and all that!! you'll be suprised how many 25 year olds want a husband and kids!!

Helsbels · 01/06/2004 16:20

did I write this without knowing it? Being 7 and a half months pg isn't helping either. Green eyes - this is a perfectly natural way to feel. No, I can't make you feel better but I can tell you that if you could do it again tonight and did do it again tonight that would make you feel worse. Life moves on (I keep telling myself) enjoy what you have now - they can't take your memories.........

happycat · 01/06/2004 16:25

How do you know that they don't fancy you but wouldn't dare make a move because your a married lady

Original poster
GreenEyes · 01/06/2004 16:26

I just can't seem to 'enjoy' what I have now - just all seems like a treadmill...

I want some of that excitement of youth....

What do you do for excitement when you're late thirties?

OP posts:
Original poster
GreenEyes · 01/06/2004 16:28

Happycat
Actually I think you've hit the nail on the head - I know one of them was excatly in that situation - we had a drunken conversation at a work function once.

OP posts:
champs · 01/06/2004 16:29

same as when you were younger i asume. I am infact a young un but have dh, 2 kids etc etc. sometimes I feel like some greener grass but i know for a fact I wouldn't be without my lot.

how about going away with a couple of friends for a w/e maybe spend it in a hotel. or go for a night out.

happycat · 01/06/2004 16:30

I do feel like this too I find myself watching blokes as 25 year old girls with great bodys walk past them and then think ahh that used to be me.Then I walk past and they get on with what they were doing.How old are you greeneyes I am 35 and really do have green eyes.Perhaps we are all having a midlife crisis like the men do.I feel like going out clubbing now.Mind you I can still remember in those days I used to attract lots of men but craved that someone special which I now have and wouldn't really want to go through all that again

papillon · 01/06/2004 16:31

I have green eyes too - only the best

maybe you need to get into dinner parties darling!

Original poster
GreenEyes · 01/06/2004 16:33

I'm 38. ANd yes I ahve a wonderful DH - and I chased him for about 6 years before we got together!

I think I feel the weight of all the 'responsibility' stuff so heavily - sometimes I just want to run away from it all for a couple of days and 'be' someone else!

OP posts:
Original poster
GreenEyes · 01/06/2004 16:34

Do you mean the 'swinging sort' of dinner parties ;-) ?

Y'know, I think I'd be up for it, but I can't think of any friends who would be!

OP posts:
happycat · 01/06/2004 16:37

I go on girls nights out and love getting dressed up and getting drunk get chatted up sometimes (not as often and I never fancy them)and then go home and have sex with dh.Do you feel like you are attractive to your husband?I have tried to spice up my sex life and now dress more girlie and make myself feel as attractive as I can

aloha · 01/06/2004 16:38

Did you really never worry about anything else in the morning? Did you never worry that you might never find anyone who really loved you? That you might never have children of your own, or on a more trivial level, did you not worry that the bloke you were going out with wasn't very nice, or that you were getting a bit fat, or that you didn't have a date on Saturday and felt lonely? We all miss things about our past, but we all tend to also romanticise them too and imagine them as much more idyllic than they really were. I bet you had some pretty bad times too when you were younger.

CountessDracula · 01/06/2004 16:40

GreenEyes sounds to me like you need a dirty weekend away with your dh! Do you have somewhere to leave the kids?

Original poster
GreenEyes · 01/06/2004 16:40

Happycat
No - I guess that's part of the problem - our sex life is a bit err... 'lapsed' we're always too busy or too knackered.
And I don't really know how to 'kick start' it again - the first time after a long period must be a bit weird?

OP posts:
papillon · 01/06/2004 16:40

well did not mean swinging ones... but wotever takes your fancy I guess

I am hiding in here for being a stupid 30 something who just posted an enormous thread title... maybe I need new glasses

Greeneyes you must still have alot of youth in you and whilst responsiblity detracts from impulsive delight there are still things to do for the older youth
May BIL & SIL hold dance parties for people over 25 (they are both 40) with a DJ, bar etc.. they are lots of fun!!

Original poster
GreenEyes · 01/06/2004 16:41

And no - nowhere to leave the kids...

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 01/06/2004 16:43

Well go somewhere with childcare then and spend long lazy afternoons in bed!

champs · 01/06/2004 16:47

plan a kinky night, get some candles, sexy food, wear a sexy outfit and even kinky undies. send dh texts thru the day to let him know in no uncertain terms that you have an evening of pleasure for him.
put kids to bed and go for it. Even if you dont have sex, cuddle up, be very touchy feely....

Jaxmum · 01/06/2004 16:50

Greeneyes - see last weeks thread about fever parties. Sounds like your cup of tea.

Original poster
GreenEyes · 01/06/2004 17:12

Yes - mine - but not dh's I suspect! How do couples ever 'evolve' into these things anyway? Just can't imagine going home one evening and in the middle of serving the kids Baked beans on toast saying, "oh yes, darling, I thought on Saturday we could pop along to the Worthington-Smythes swinging party - bring your own condoms"

OP posts:
happycat · 01/06/2004 17:30

could you not hold your own Ann Summers party to start you off and give you some idea (no i am not an Ann summers rep)but I think the room is usually full of people of the same age wanting the same things.Dh became more interested in me when I went to a couple and it got me in the mood too

myrightarm · 01/06/2004 19:08

not being funny like, but id give my right arm, and then some, for what you have! be happy

Tinker · 01/06/2004 19:12

But when you were 25 didn't you look at those sad losers in clubs who were in their late 30's and still trying to pull and think, 'Please God may I not end up like that?'