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giving babies small amounts of alcohol

53 replies

jacksma · 14/01/2007 10:21

My dp, ds and I went for lunch with some friends who have a 8 month old ds this w/e. DUring lunch the mother of this baby told me that they often give her small amounts of beer or wine (which she apparently likes less than beer) on their fingers. I assumed they were joking and laughed but soon after this an argument ensued, wherein I was accused of responding to middle class pressure to feel guilty about doing almost anything against the mother malitia doctrine on child rearing (jtheir words) and that alcohol is a "societal bonus" and that to deny children small amounts of it is unfair and exclusive. My friend also said that she had been given martini on her dummy and that had done her no harm. They are scientists and so started saying that I was stupid to think this was harmful as the liver can well cope with alcohol in small doses (in fairness they are talking finger sucking amounts). I still feel disturbed by the conversation, not because I feel what thewy are doing is deeply harmful but because I feel angry at being criticised for my own feeling that alcohol is a societal problem and that, though my ds is likely to drink in the future, there is ABSOLUTELY no need to give him drugs at the age of 15months or, in fact, for many years to come...What do others think about this issue?

OP posts:
belgo · 14/01/2007 10:25

jacksma, you're right, they're wrong, end of subject.

Pruni · 14/01/2007 10:28

Message withdrawn

hercules1 · 14/01/2007 10:30

They sound weird. I'd avoid them.

Saturn74 · 14/01/2007 10:31

Firstly, I would not spend much time with any so called 'friends' who spoke to me in the way you have described, and referred to my opinions as stupid, TBH.
I think what they were doing was foolish and unpleasant, and sounds rather like attention seeking behaviour.
I have friends and family members who have done similar things with their children, and I dislike seeing it, and would not do the same with my children.
I'm not sure, however, that it is 'deeply harmful', or that it is akin to giving your child 'drugs at the age of 15 months'.
I think it is somewhere inbetween the differing opinions held by you and your friends - probably unlikely to cause any damage in such small amounts, but certainly not something that is advisable to instigate on a regular basis.

Pruni · 14/01/2007 10:33

Message withdrawn

Edam · 14/01/2007 10:33

They are barking. Why would you give a baby poison, even in tiny amounts? Unfair and exclusive my arse! They'll be buying the baby Silk Cut next...

Saturn74 · 14/01/2007 10:36

Thanks, Pruni.
I wish there was an edit button!

Pruni · 14/01/2007 10:37

Message withdrawn

Carmenere · 14/01/2007 10:40

I would argue that the Martini on her dummy possibly had a detrimental effect................

sandcastles · 14/01/2007 10:49

It will be interesting to know when they feel the introduction of cigarettes would be appropriate!

jacksma · 14/01/2007 11:13

It is actually really good to hear that I am not isolated in thinking they are mad - when I left yesterday I had that awful feeling of frustration when you know you have a point but have not been allowed to make it in any kind of articulate way. Just very different views on alcohol I suppose...

OP posts:
colditz · 14/01/2007 11:16

Not a middle class thing to not give alcohol to babies, it's a common sense thing. Poisoning your baby for the sake of social convention is f*cking idiotic!

ruty · 14/01/2007 11:26

they sound awful. sorry.

tigermoth · 14/01/2007 11:27

lol@carmenere

so your friends say "that alcohol is a "societal bonus" and that to deny children small amounts of it is unfair and exclusive"

I think your friends are very far up their own *s.

Just smile and move on.

bran · 14/01/2007 11:36

It does sound as though they were looking for an argument in that they deliberatly introduced a subject that they probably knew you would disagree with, and they already had their argument all prepared so that they could make themselves feel better by calling you "stupid" (which you're not). Are they usually like this or are they under some sort of stress atm and relieving tension by taking it out on the people around them?

pointydog · 14/01/2007 11:43

crazy in the bean. stay away from them. they are not your friends.

grouchyoscar · 14/01/2007 12:07

I understand it to be ILLEGAL to supply alcohol to an Under 2 year old for anything other than medicinal reasons.
Itg is just wrong to give a child drugs in that manner and if these 'friends' fail to see your point of view on the matter, even arguing against it, cut your losses, they are no friends tbh

Edam · 14/01/2007 12:11

How on earth is a baby or small child going to get any 'societal bonus' from alcohol? They don't know what the heck it is! Your so-called friends are madder than snakes. Being scientists doesn't mean they are right, btw, scientists are just human beings.

nogoes · 14/01/2007 12:15

They sound like stupid attention seeking immature losers.

tribpot · 14/01/2007 12:16

You mean no-one else gives their baby finger-sized doses of liquid morphine?! Blimey, I thought every did that to get them to sleep through the night and in order not to deny them the societal bonus, whatever the heck that is.

(Am joking, although may have been tempted on occasion!)

MamazonAKAfatty · 14/01/2007 12:20

Its true that in many cultures alcohol is not so strictly regulated in as much as children of all ages have access to wine at the dinner table, because it is so readily available they have a more reasoned response to alcohol (in as much as they dont have the binge drink culture that we do)

But there is a difference between being liberal about a small amount of alcohol consumption in young adults and giving it to a baby.

They are right that the amounts being given is not going to do any real harm but it is still not something i would want to do...and i certainly think they are wrong to be so angry with you for thinking the way the vast majority of society does.

I always feel that people who argue so agressivly to defend their pov is because deep down they realise their stanc is so very different that they may even question it themselves at times but stubborness makes them continue anyway.

calmontheoutside · 14/01/2007 12:21

I don't think that it's 'unfair and exclusive' not to, what utter bollocks and what kind of scientists are they? However we do also give DD a drop on a finger two or three times a week. Where we are in France just now, there is an altogether more relaxed attitude to alcohol. They have it at lunch, they take a bit during pregnancy, their kids grow up taking drops - and when they do grow up there isn't the same break all the boundaries, lets get s...faced, isn't it cool to get drunk problem there is back home. There just isn't the same degree of alcoholism at all.
That said I wouldn't blow smoke into a child's face, and that is a problem here.

calmontheoutside · 14/01/2007 12:23

And I do mean the meannest drop.

WideWebWitch · 14/01/2007 12:34

I agree with everyone, they're weirdos.

paulaplumpbottom · 14/01/2007 12:53

I think thats a shabby way to treat a friend. Although I am curious what you said to make them respond like that? You haven't mentioned what you said. My 3 year old gets the odd glass of watered down red wine but it wouldn't be very often. I do think its weird when given to a baby.