Mornington Crescent?!

[Eggsbutnobacon]

Will somebody please please explain to me what this is all about?

What a lovely recollection ma. I attended the Duchess's Finishing School, so it's unsurprising that some of her finesse has rubbed off. Oh, how we used to laugh as we gathered in the common room for midnight MC tournaments; lashings of creme de menthe all round, and the first one to Nidd is a rotten egg!

I've never been a fan of a snurgle, although I'll admit it has a certain earthy je ne sais quoi.

in honour of the Eurovision Song Contest, an acute Mitterand to

Ashford International , leaving it wide open for a foray to the Continent!

I apologise for the prolonged absence, but you all know how difficult this time of year is, what with having to lock up the colonel so he doesn't breech all those pesky restraining orders during Cannes and getting the old gaffe ready for...
The Semi annual May Ball! Yes, soon that familiar cerise envelope will be plopping onto your doormats, it's time to brush off the diamonds (get them out of hock more like eh Maud?). Get your companions booked in place. The entertainment will be a surprise as ever (as will be the contents of the petit fours), the ha ha will be full of debs, the debs will be full of champers and of course, the MC tournament will be happening in the library.
So in light of the news -Bank!

Excellent news slinky Always love the May Ball and have many painful fond memories of fumbles in the folly with the Brigadier and the chaps from the battalion. Such fun.
I must to Mistress Threadneedle for a new gown. The stains in the taffeta have proved impossible to remove and it must be consigned to the gun room dog baskets....
Morden

Pingu, snurgling in May has something special and vous savez bloody well quoi - don't try and kid us.

Slinky: what a pity it is that those May Ball events, fun as they are, don't count towards the MC championships or Grandmaster awards. I would have got my GM status about five years before I did if I could have had credit for that Backward Breach to Hammersmith at your place in '69 . . . remember how wild the Air Vice-Marshal got because I had blocked his diagonal to Slough? I have to say that I cannot quite forgive what he said to the Governor of Holloway - however angry he was. I'm sure she never did any such thing, least of all with a badger.

It's time to liven this rather staid game up with a Transversal to Hornchurch

The Air Marshal was always volatile. Never the same after that botched op, in my opinion,although it did improve his gait and the regular creaking noise did alert one to his impending presence.
Andrew playing Hornchurch on a Saturday preceding a Sunday is going to leave you open to an Olson's oblique to Euston, I'm afraid.

Whoopsie!

A quick Hobson's Holdover to Harringay redeems the situation.

The Air Marshall wasn't a bad old chap just as long as you remembers not to mention . . . you know.

Oh dear, Andrew, unlike you to make such a basic error. Have you been remembering to take your medication? I'm sure your carer has been reminding you.

I'm feeling full of the joys of Spring, so a transverse shunt with longitudinal niggins to

Hainault

My carer has been fed up every since she was demoted from her own Grandmastership - but I can't say she did not deserve it. They will do these things, and on the Central Line on a Thursday too!

Never mind. We all make mistakes, as the Dalek said when it climbed off the dustbin.

Longitudinal niggins, eh? Well now. That opens the batting up a bit, doesn't it? Rule 180(xxviii) is in force as amended at Augsburg in '57 (a point often overlooked but not by you or me) and that gives me the chance to play a move I have occasionally seen (the Cardinal played it to amazing effect that time we agreed to follow Charbonnef's Convention at Carlisle) - but never had the chance to play myself - namely a Tranquilised Treble to

North Acton

I am not sure the Cardinal would wish to be at North Action on a Sunday, especially as I assume you took the direct route from Hainault.

Thankfully the Elizabeth line rule helps here, so back to Tottenham Court Road we go without retracing our steps along the tuppenny tube, as it was known in the Colonel's youth.

This is hotting up. A longitudinal niggins followed by a tranquilized treble, is very audacious play for Sunday, although the Cardinal will offer absolution if one crosses his palm with silver and a bottle of Tanqueray.
I take us to St Paul's with a meditative median and a pause to catch our breath.

The direct route?

Saints, please, what do you take me for?

I went the scenic route via St Neots.

i understand the Cardinal expects a crate of Tanqueray, or has he cut his rates since Lent?

Be that as it may there is no time to catch our breath. Ipswich is calling me and I will see you all there. In the chippie behind the station. Mine's a grilled halibut and a bottle of vinegar.

Get more side-on the lot of you - it's no wonder the bloody game's gone to the dogs!

Might have to temporarily withdraw, as the Cardinal said to the art mistress....
There are some young chaps in wisps of cloth taking part in some sort of diving Championships and I feel obliged to monitor proceedings....wipes brow

Give me more. give me more, give me all you've got, as the art mistress replied to the Cardinal.

The game must go on. Cross-country to King's Lynn it is!

Oh and dementedma, the young gentlemen jumping into a large puddle, is that one of these activities called "sport"? It seems so pointless. The jump in and they get out again. Why is anybody interested?

They could be honing their skills at MC instead.

I don't know wtf is going on here but this is hilarious

I am currently residing in High Dudgeon, Herts. Some bounder in another thread is claiming to be a gold medal black belt in the glorious game! How very, very dare she! I know all those who hold both those awards (I'm related to three of them) and she is not one! (Mater has just pointed out this may be a satirical thread, but one just doesnt joke) A medicinal barley wine I feel then on to Taunton.
Andrew dear, did we forget to make a play again?
I too have regretfully decided that the Schiaparelli won't survive another season, so I'm packing it off to the V and A. Mater has emerged from the Labradors (both senses) and has declared we are going to have what is referred to as a "girly weekend" with the twins. She has made appointments at several boutiques (after discovering that both Biba and Granny Takes a Trip are no longer extant.)She and Vivienne go way back, so that's first stop. (And the last, the gin will flow, stories will be told) One forgets Mater's interesting past at times, she wasn't always steeped in tweed and pointers. We are then having a spa day. I doubt this will involve muscular men with birch twigs. Ma said "time to get the barnacles scraped orf, my gels, get scrubbed up and we might get rid of one of you at least." Harsh, dearest mater, harsh.

Slinky It's a fair cop and in the interest of the Greater Good I will make a great sacrifice and play a Froggatt's forward to Milton Keynes - and anyone thinking of the obvious answer needs to be afraid, be very afraid.

Do enjoy the weekend and don't forget to post lots of photos - not that the tabloid press will give you much privacy, not now that they know about the business in Moscow with the Ruritanian Ambassador and the Labrador and the bog-brush.

runnerselbow This is not "hilarious" - this is the most serious business on MN. You need to read previous threads. Read, mark, learn and inwardly digest.

Undue soot. salutes

Slinky have you been on the homebrew again, dear? you forgot to make a play, as did Andrew and demented ma. I call for a 2 page Nidd for the lot of you. you need time to think about the consequences of such lack of forethought when we have newcomers to the thread. It simply won't do!

To return to the model of decorum and tranquility that is MC (despite what Messrs Rice, Andersson and Ulvaeus might have you believe. Chess indeed! Chess!) I shall offer a Cerulean Sidesweep to

Wivelsfield

A 2 page Nidd is unnecessarily harsh pingu , especially given the current rumours about you and the Admiral. That may well be acceptable amongst submarines, but would do no favours to your reputation should the unsavoury details become public knowledge....
I play Borough and await a lifting of Nidd

Pingu Today being the Ides no Nidd can be pronounced - you know that. So yah booh shucks!

But of course we must try to avoid missing play - and from Borough it's not easy when we have tacitly agreed to Venning's Variation not being applicable to the Bakerloo Line at the weekend.

There's only one thing for it. Totnes.

As for the rumours - I don't believe a word of it. We all know Pingu doesn't do things like that. Not with Admirals, anyway, and the Field Marshal prefers, well, let's leave it there, shall we?

And pings, my dear, please get your Sunday specs on, end of first para-Taunton from Kings Lynn. So double ya boo sucks my sweetie. And a Montmorency participle to Brightside.

On dear lord - the last time I saw a participle as elegant as that it was just before the old King died - how annoyed he used to get when Mountbatten scored points off him which was more often than not.

I am pleased to announce that the Chaplain-General is returning to the fold after his dalliance with ch*ss which he now describes as "a very silly, a very trivial game" - well, there is more joy in heaven over the one than over the ninety-nine, isn't there?

I think that when he dips his toe back in the water he should be allowed positive droppings for two moves (three if it is Tuesday) - does that seem fair?

In the meantime, while he takes off his shinpads and dons his floral MC underwear I play Gateshead.

Terribly sorry Slinky. This is what happens when one visits the Farquharson-Bletherthwaite-Schmidts for tea after church. I swear something must have been slipped into my beverage - the vicar was looknig mighty peaky after a cup of something that purported to be Earl Grey. And Earl Grey himself knocked back half a teapot of the stuff and was last seen singing to a shetland pony. And all before midday as well! Such larks!

From Gateshead the only legitimate move - bearing in mind both the proximity of the next Bank Holiday and the recent Transit of Mercury - is

Manchester Piccadilly