Mornington Crescent?!

[Eggsbutnobacon]

Will somebody please please explain to me what this is all about?

Well, I have opened one one, then said disregard when I saw Pingu's offering, I don't mind, we are professionals and can run two at once.

Pingu we share your pain. You are wishing it was only the cooking sherry and the footman, aren't you, not the Napoleon Brandy and the chap with the pneumatic drill and the builder's bum!

Watford Junction.

Outside the M25 within 5 moves Andrew? You really do like to walk on the wild side, don't you? I've been to Watford Junction and the superinjunction allowing me to discuss it will be lifted in around 10 years time it wasn't pretty.

Still, if we must tarry in the provinces, allow me to perform a Finkmann's Flagellation to take us to the altogether prettier

Kings Langley

A Finkmans on Friday the 13th? Are you mad????

Well I appear to be back in the game. Sorry for my absence the glass of sherry with the Bishop turned into more than one, well you have doubt read about it in the Court circular, but I will hasten to add I was not the one with the shuttle-cock. Marble Arch for a bit of grounding and sense of security.

*nodoubt

It's in the DM and there's already a queue outside court for the hearing on Monday. If you take my advice you'll cop a plea - you'll get away with a long but suspended sentence if you do. And won't that piss off the RSPCA?

Barons Court, I think. Just to add a bit of spice to life.

Assuming that as we near midnight on the 13th & given the seriousness of the alleged shuttlecock incident I suggest we revert to Burlington Original Rules

Chicks away & off to Mayfair (rule 42 is of course suspended).

Burlington is a reliable and refined choice Agatha, however I wonder if some of our newer members might struggle to grasp the more subtle nuances of the classical game? Can we - in all good conscience - expect those who were not present at the Zurich Summit of '53 to appreciate Addendum MXIIV in all it's true complexities? I fear not! Even some of the most august Grand Masters have struggled with it - we must never forget the Mother Superior disgracing herself with a lateral diverticular Esplange when the XIVth footnote expressly forbade it.

No, I feel we should keep to the simpler, current rulebook, and I offer a Benedictine tribillian to

Arnos Grove

presented without comment.

It's all over the papers and something about the interweave . I can't take it any more!! Sorry quick recovery with thanks to Mater, I think Nanny had a word too. Therefore a quick Holmston's shuffle to Pilmilco

Am I mistaken or did somebody recently suggest that our musings on the great and noble game are, and I quote, bonkers? I fear we shall have to post Jenkins, the under-under-footman, at the door to keep such hobbledehoys away from the arena of play. One is all for openness, of course - and one remembers when the representatives of the yellow press infiltrated the Lowestoft convocation of '66 and printed a most disobliging story about the harbour master, Brown Owl and a box of macaroons - but there simply have to be limits. Of course, we are most welcoming to newbies and so even the doubters and naysayers would be most welcome to essay a move or two.

As it is, I shall play an elongated Giacometti to

Swiss Cottage

Excellent move Maud. I am in a bit of a quandary now. Holloway Road I guess.

Quite right Maud - before we know it some frightful Grauniad-waving, sandal wearing pinko feminists will be clamouring to join in

Though our horological Swiss brothers are not part of the European Union I shall endeavour to remain true to the spirit of the Common Market and suggest a foray to Holland Park

AgathaMystery playing the closed stations rule at that time on a Friday night is a rare one indeed. I hope no-one has fallen down the lift shaft. Though of course you could have been using the replacement bus from Notting Hill Gate.

So I will carry on via the bus to Shepherd's Bush, nip across the common to Shepherds Bush Market, and on to Latimer Road

Oh, my dear, I have no objection at all to the Grauniad or its readership, but it is somewhat disquieting to receive these visits from people suggesting that this fine and historic game is fabricated, blinkers or worse. There was even someone suggesting that all we do is shout out randomly the names of stations. Imagine!

I must get on with the day, so my first move of the morning will be a hasty Bergkamp to

Wood Green

That would be bonkers of course. One is still grappling with the auto correction function on one's hand held technology.

From Wood Green one simply must meander to Warren Street. A simple move which will alarm no-one........

Speaking for myself I don't care what newspaper MCers read - what matters is that we all have our seize quartiers. As for Lowestoft I have the harbourmaster's cap, the wrapper from the macaroons, and a memento of Brown Owl (which I will not further specify than to say that if it fitted her then it certainly would not fit her now, poor old thing) safely in the muniments room in the Castle along with the Charter from William the Conqueror and other, more ancient, documents.

Warren Street? I don't scare easily, dementedma, and I am not frightened by a move like that.

I raise you Guildford.

Deepest Surrey it must be then, at least to meander to Epsom

The idea that whilst playing MC you would have time to read a newspaper is preposterous. Unless you are one of the common folk reading these half sized imposters sometimes called tabloids. Give me a proper newspaper with adverts on the front page like the Thunderer used to do in the Victorian era anyway.

I see no need for News Papers to exist. The Court Circular and the London Gazette provide all the information which the plebs need. I blame the whole idea of mass literacy. Good lord above, they will want to play MC next.

Time for a Pipkin's Pun. From Epsom to Saltburn.

As ever, Andrew, I am impressed by your boundless vigour at such a great age. What does wife no. 5 sprinkle on your cornflakes, eh?

A tritone to Canterbury East for me.

Irene She won't tell me - she got the formula from MIL no. 4 - but it works, especially with a Pint of Old and Filthy - but then I know you are an expert on that, I remember Skegness '87, which for your sake I hope you don't. Never mind, it was the pre-digital age and gentleman as I am I scooped up and destroyed the negatives. I had to tell the chap from the Daily Mirror that I knew all about his goings-on with the principal sub-editor's bit on the side; which I didn't, it was a lucky guess, but all's fair in love and war and blackmail.

After Canterbury, in whichever direction, an Ecclesiastical Extra to York follows as the day follows the night, doesn't it?

Tally ho! And on to Whitby.

Oh, I do love a sojourn in the North! However the thin air up here is giving me nosebleeds and my passport is about to expire, so we'd better gallop back to civilisation The Big Smoke before I have to raid Andrew's dressing up trunk and pretend to be the Goal Attack in the MC AllStars netball team in order to gain entry.

Shaftesbury Shankleton to

Woolwich Arsenal

Nice pingu. Haven't seen a Shankleton since the Duchess was cited for foul play in the Championships of '28, and, in the face of perpetual Nidd, used a Shankleton to escape the clutches of Igor the Inscrutable. What a game!
A snurgle to Stockwell

The sun is still out and it seems ideal for a brisk walk. After we have arrived at Green Park