Swagger Inn Thread 118 - Santa baby, I've been an awfully bad girl, can I please have a Musketeer in my Stocking--s--

[Obs2015]

Mistletoe at the ready wenches .....

COMTESS welcome back. Glad you had a good time.

Not too sure about the no-beard-very-short-hair combo, but absolutely love Dolokhov.

Oooooh look at his epaullettes!

Just watched last nights last kingdom....ooof. Loving uthred and leofric.

Minty...any idea what yesterday's Lego AAC thing was supposed to be??

(Pokes head back out of the Vat) (does the Tav have a resident hit man on hand to assassinate conveyancing lawyers & estate agents? If not fluff this is our new business venture once the shop is up and running) (sinks back into the vat to literally drown my sorrows) - am grabbing DOG later to literally fk my brains out to give me a hug -

Afternoon wenches.

Not properly caught up but I should say that all credit should go to Sparks for my name change as I am truly shite at stuff like that. I just added the HBFs at the end - a Team Aramis production

Tart ready and waiting for you. **
**
Comtess!!! Welcome back

Badders it was a droid apparently. I'm just glad they show you how to build them on the door!! There are YouTube videos of them being discussed.
Spoilers alert....

Well, I think they are shit this year, I won't be getting one again.
I'm not sure I like my new skirt :( but I do like my jeggings! Weird!
Anyone watch that kirsties home made Xmas programme? Jesus, what a pretentious wankorama! Obv I shall be watching again....

Last years was better. I'm hoping they improve over the next few days.

I love my jeggings. Tons of cake room.

Oh! I haven't told you all of my sisters latest, have I?
For the past couple of weeks I have been liaising with her and my bro about mums 70th in Jan.
She finally asked for a necklace and earrings...sorted.
Then my cousin from Ireland rang and said she and her daughter might be coming over for the b day.
Lovely.
So I arranged a meal on the Sunday for all of us - 14 in total. All this done with my sisters knowledge and input.
So...I book it today.
Didn't realise we needed to put down a deposit so texted my bro and sis and said can you get me your deposit money ASAP?
Sister texted me back to say "not sure if we are going to be here now as Dh wants to go abroad in the new year"
Right.
She is such a selfish bitch.
I am livid.
Would it kill her to spend a bit of time with mum? On her 70th? Or am I being unreasonable? I expect no better from my bil who is a cunt of the highest order, but her?...
:(
Argh!

Yes minty. Mine are....roomy :) too!

Oh Badders I fucking hate that sort of stitch up.

Helen Comtess Bootcamp pre Christmas quite a challenge. Well done darling.

Splendid idea re: hitman agency Tart. I have one or two people in mind myself. What shall we call it? I quite like Death by Wench, what do you think? Oh, no, I know. Murderkitty!!! And here he is....

Stitch up.
That's a good word for it, Comtesse :(
Poor mum :(
I'll try and make it a good b day for her.

That's crappy of her Badders. Just really selfish.

Comtess

Badderz - what would she say if you said to her I think it would be nice for mum for you to be with her on her 70th birthday celebrations?

That's exactly what I texted back.
No reply....

Hey wenches
Yaaay for comtess being back.
badders awful behaviour from your sis.

Sorry for being away, I don't know what's going on with the internet in my area. The upgrade to 4g is a pita.

Badders fluff&tarts new hit man team could take out bil if that helps? (Honestly though that is rather shit...)

Don't fucking tempt me!...
He is a bastard. He really is. And she just goes along with it.
I'm really upset and angry about it.
No idea if relations from Ireland are even coming TVs and if they are they probably wont let me know til the week before!

For a one off fee - we could take out the whole family - bar mum of course - would be a bit rude on her birthday ......

Honestly...stop tempting me! :)
Will you providing henching services? A wench henchman yes. I could use a couple of those.
I would have to insist on black leather suits, boots and masks.
For your own protection, you understand?

Absolutely - we will offer all hit man/ take out/ duff you up in a corner type services

Excellent.
Do you have business cards?