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Original poster

Good self esteem?.

43 replies

Sugarfree · 05/12/2006 21:31

Ok,who's got good self esteem and how did you get it?
It dawned on me today that mine is frankly piss poor and I need to sort it out.

OP posts:
MoreEggnogAnyone · 05/12/2006 21:32

Can I still the advice you get sugarfree?
My self-esteem is basement level too.

pelvicfloorSNOWmore · 05/12/2006 21:33

mine too

Original poster
Sugarfree · 05/12/2006 21:36

It's shite isn't it?
It's not just about making the best of yourself,I don't think,though thats part of it.
Discovering that I feel so little for myself has made me feel even worse,if that's possible.
Damn.

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Stockingsofdinosaurs · 05/12/2006 21:37

Have a look at this then \link{http://www.naturalvoice.net/this}. The latter is quite a big jump if you've never done it before but OMG finding a class/workshop and joining in will do wonders for you!
Self esteem is all about getting out more and trying new things IMO, not a life lived in fear etc. Even if you fail spectacularly (unlikely) it gives you some amusing conversation subjects.

MoreEggnogAnyone · 05/12/2006 21:38

Deep down I think I an aware that I'm good at things but I just can't fully admit it to myself. I actually wonder why people reply to my posts on here. I often post and never get a reply and that just reaffirms my shitty feelings!

Stockingsofdinosaurs · 05/12/2006 21:38

Oops sorry this .

hoxtonchick · 05/12/2006 21:39

i have very good self-esteem, which i'm very grateful for, & do wonder why & how i got it. have never come to any firm conclusions though i'm afraid. i had a very secure & happpy childhood, maybe that's something to do with it.

Original poster
Sugarfree · 05/12/2006 21:42

Thanks Dino(second time you've done me a favour)
I think you've hit the nail on the head with the fear of rejection idea.
I've let someone treat me really badly,although it wasn't their fault,they had no idea,because I thought they wouldn't like me any more if I didn't 'put up ' with it.
I'm in shock,I thought I was a 'stronger' person than that.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sugarfree · 05/12/2006 21:43

Lovely childhood Hoxtonchick so it's not that.

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lulumama · 05/12/2006 21:48

be comfortable in your own skin.........do not be defined by how you look, what you own, what you wear.....

years of counselling and therapy....reading a lot about this..took a while..but i am there now...and surround yourself with good, kind caring people.

waking up at peace with myself, knowing i am a good person.

i really had to work to get to this point....childhood can help..but it is not the only thing.....

i really believe that good therapy , can really give you the tools to find your way, give you the tools to build your self esteem and maintain it.and feel good.

kama · 05/12/2006 21:49

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kama · 05/12/2006 21:50

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lulumama · 05/12/2006 21:51

sugarfree..... it is a journey..and on the way you can make choices and decisions as to which path

it is easy to follow the path you have always followed, even if it mean you get hurt or feel bad, as that is safe,,,

sometimes, you need to pick up your courage and turn off the path you know and go somewhere different,,,

eeeeeeeeeek! sound really airy fairy now!

MoreEggnogAnyone · 05/12/2006 21:54

Talking of low self esteem, I've just been thrown off a thread. No wonder I have to force myself to post sometimes.

Sad, going to bed now. Actually, seriously upset.

lulumama · 05/12/2006 21:57

eggnog....poor you! things can get very heated around here......xx

lulumama · 05/12/2006 21:58

people forget that there is a real person at the end of the nickname sometimes x

MoreEggnogAnyone · 05/12/2006 21:59

Nothing happened. No fights, no rows. Just the natural changing development of a thread. here

MoreEggnogAnyone · 05/12/2006 21:59

I'm actually crying now. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh I HATE ME!

Original poster
Sugarfree · 05/12/2006 22:01

Lulu,the 'safe' option makes alot of sense,you don't sound airy fairy at all

Kama,you sound like youre where I need to be.

Eggnog,really sorry that youve been upset.

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lulumama · 05/12/2006 22:01
Stockingsofdinosaurs · 05/12/2006 22:05

Thing is, good self esteem is not going to come knocking on your door, you have to go out there and find it. If cyberpeople are getting you down it's time to switch off the monitor and go out and do something less boring instead. Now who said that? Once you've got your new outlook on life you'll be in a much stronger position to face the real demons that got you stuck in the rut and tell them to F* off.
I'm really into DIY positive psychology so if anyone wants to have a go at the Happiness Manifesto as a New Year's Resolution, I'll be your cheerleader! My DH is quite pessimistic and his 'just my luck' attitude is very seductive (iyswim) but I've been battling to keep my sunny disposition (and give him one) for nearly 9yrs. Think I'm winning.

moondog · 05/12/2006 22:06

I think people talk a lot of bollocks BOUT SELF ESTEEM.sUCH AN OVERUSED TERM.
iT'S SIMPLE;IF YUO THINK YOU ARE RIGHT,THEN HOLD YOUR GROUND.
nOTHING PEOPLE ADMIRE MORE THAN CONVICTION.

eGGNOG,YOU'RE PRETTY GOOD AT HOLDING YOUR GROUND.
rEMEMBER eGYPT??

lulumama · 05/12/2006 22:06

not talking utter rubbish then !!

you'll find you way...the fact you are looking for a different way is the first step on the new journey

i'm sorry too eggnog.don;t think you said anything wrong at all.

Original poster
Sugarfree · 05/12/2006 22:08

"Thing is, good self esteem is not going to come knocking on your door, you have to go out there and find it."
I was afraid someone might say this.
You mean I have to get proactive,don't you?

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MoreEggnogAnyone · 05/12/2006 22:08

Thanks guys.

Off to bed now. I actually had a good day today, will think about the good things that happened before I go to sleep.