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Original poster

Why do older people always...

129 replies

UnquietDad · 01/12/2006 13:43

... go on about the fact that they had no central heating and no washing-machine, and "we certainly didn't have a car until we were 35, and do you know, a LOT of people weren't on the PHONE" etc, ad nauseam, ad infinitum, yakka yakka yakka.

I think it's to make us feel guilty that DW and I both work, and a hint that if we were prepared to give up these 'luxuries' we could live on one income. Oh, ho ho bleeding ho. Merry Christmas.

OP posts:

bundle · 01/12/2006 17:21

I wasn't being sarcastic.

Original poster

UnquietDad · 01/12/2006 17:23

But I wasn't talking about listening to other peope's conversations. these are things our older relatives say TO us!!

OP posts:

HappyMellowmas · 01/12/2006 17:24

Are you his wife bundle or the MIL perhaps??

Sorry, couldnt resist

bundle · 01/12/2006 17:24

sorry

I should have said:

what a terrible strain for you, to have to listen to other people talk.

2shoes · 01/12/2006 17:25

oh but it's fun.
they always had it sooooo hard
(and most times they did)

bundle · 01/12/2006 17:25

hardly

WigWamBam · 01/12/2006 17:28

My grandma was proud to use water from the well to wash her clothes, and did it up until the early 1980s. She also used a range rather than an electric or gas cooker because it was more reliable, and she had a pantry with a meat safe rather than a fridge. I can remember watching her use the washtub and mangle and being amazed that she preferred it to her twin-tub.

The difference between her and my MIL is that while my grandmother was happy to use the things she knew and liked, she never once begrudged her children having automatic washing machines, tumble driers and other mod cons. My MIL, on the other hand, is sour about it, jealous of what she perceives as the ease of parenthood these days, and never misses an opportunity to tell me how hard she had it, how easy my life is, and to belittle me because she thinks I don't have the skills that she needed to get by. That's what I think many people don't like about the way some of the older generation speak about these things.

Mercy · 01/12/2006 17:31

UQD, there are younger & middle aged people who regard a car and a phone as a luxury tbh.

If you mean older members of your family are constantly having a dig, well that's maybe different if it's really getting to you and they can't/won't understand. Explain yourself!!

threebob · 01/12/2006 17:32

I do this myself and I'm only in my 30s.

"when I was at school there were only 2 computers"

"when I was at music college we had to type essays on a typewriter because the only computers were in the office"

"I remember when there was only BBC1, BBC2 and we used to call ITV BBC3 as a joke"

"I remember playing outside all the time and only going home when I was hungry".

Why would this be any less irritating to the next generation?

Kelly1978GotRunOverByAReindeer · 01/12/2006 17:32

I def felt guilty today. I met a 90 year old lady at playgroup who was there with her husband, daughter and her toddler twin great grandchildren. I moan sometimes about how hard it is with twins, or having four children. She had 9 children, and now has 40 grandchildren and great grandchildren. I think it must have been bloody amazing bringing up 9 children without a washing machine/dishwasher/car etc. She was telling me all about how she used to keep her children entertained with a bunch of cardboard boxes. Probably some older people are irritating but this lady was jsut inspirational.

BethleCAM · 01/12/2006 17:33

You're not going to win any friends with this one UQD

And no I'm not related to him

KTeepee · 01/12/2006 17:33

Well I'm not old (well I don't think I am!) and the OP is a pretty good description of my childhood/teenage years. I do think people take a lot for granted these days (and I think one of the reasons young people live at home for a lot longer now is that they are not prepared to live in the sort of accomodation that was standard fare for students and young workers 20 years ago). I am grateful every day that I live in a house with central heating, hot running water,etc. if I had grown up with these things I probably wouldn't think they were anything to be grateful for...

2shoes, I can remember going to the well for water with my granny - they only got piped water in the late 60s.

ComeOyefaithfulVeneer · 01/12/2006 17:42

I get this all the time from my mum, mainly about all the gizzmos and gadgets avaliable for babys now. Things like bottle warmers, disposable nappies, steam sterilizers. She keeps saying how mums today have it so easy compared to when she had babies. OK a few bits and pieces make the practical side of mothering a little easier, but afaik they don't make the baby sleep any less, need feeding any less etc etc.

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 01/12/2006 17:53

I have to say I can't imagine my poor mother pregnant in our first home......tripping outside down the yard to use the loo in the night must have been pretty appalling. Or the other choice - using the chamber pot at 9 moths pg was probably a scream !

And thosr

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 01/12/2006 17:54

oops!

....and those gizmos wouldn't make baby sleep better but at least when you're pacing the floor at 3 in the morning the central heating means the house is a tad more comfy.

CorrieDale · 01/12/2006 18:02

I think I must be really lucky! Now I have a DS and am pregnant again, I am constantly amazed at how my mother coped with two babies 13 months apart, in a caravan, with a husband who worked long hours as a brickie, who therefore needed to have a hot meal ready for him when he got home. It was a very traditional marriage - she stayed at home with us, and he brought home the bacon. He was not well paid! They had no washing machine, or central heating, or car. They were Irish so looked down upon by everybody (cf asylum seekers now )- they couldn't even get a mortgage. And she never ever says to me that I have it easy. When I whinge about DS not sleeping, or morning sickness, she's always genuinely sympathetic. In comparison, my life is an absolute bloody doddle. Truly.

Blondilocks · 01/12/2006 18:33

Another one to add to the list ... "and I never went abroad on holiday at your age". GROAN.

edam · 01/12/2006 18:44

I find myself doing this to my littlest sister (14 years younger than me). Not exactly in a bitter moaning way, just in a 'you don't know you are born' way which is probably just as irritating.

'Ooh, when I were a lass, we had no central heating and I had to drag a bucket of coal up the stairs every night after school and lay the fire' (only because we were renovating an old house, though, I leave out the fact that the other 16 years of my childhood were spent in centrally heated luxury).

But it's true that at the age of 24 she's living in a big three bed semi in a suburb with two cars while dh and I had a one-bed flat on a main road above a shop. And were using a laundrette for a couple of years until we were given a washing machine. And no car until we were nearly 30. Have never owned a new car - both our cars were hand-me-downs (one ex-company car that was being sold off as too old, one inherited from dh's late father).

I'm sure she's bored rigid by my occasional tales of how hard we had it but tough, that's what you get for being the youngest!

paulaplumpbottom · 01/12/2006 20:10

My MIL complains because I vacume the carpet instead of brushing it. She must think this new fangled vacume cleaner doesn't clean as well.[hmmm]

expatinscotland · 01/12/2006 20:52

Carpet is minging.

I've lived out of tents, in developing nations, etc.

So what?

It made me not take things for granted, but damn, why bring it up all the time that others haven't had the same experiences?

Maybe they wouldn't have liked it. Maybe they didn't chose to or have had the same experiences.

BFD.

The myth that everyone has debt b/c of a 'living beyond their means' or wanting all the latest 'luxuries' is the biggest crock I've ever heard.

Original poster

UnquietDad · 01/12/2006 20:59

bethlecam: why am I not going to win any friends? From the look of it, a lot of people here agree with me and have had the same experience.

edam: I kind of know what you mean, actually, and I do this myself. "Young people today, don't know they're born" kind of thing.

I suppose I don't use it as a stick to beat people with though, as in the examples I quoted, which are clearly (to me anyway) all about how we could give up our "luxuries" and DW could give up work, which is obviously nonsense when you look at our finances.

mercy: I suppose it's whether you are different from most people you know or not. And having a washing machine, a phone and a single (secondhand) car doesn't make us rolling in it in comparison to most other people we know, to be honest.

bundle: if I assumed sarcasm where none was intended, then I apologise. I've had a long day and I'm probably being dim, but if you are not being even slightly sarcastic then I still don't understand quite what you are getting at. Are you saying I'm moaning unfairly about other people? if so, then couldn't the same charge could be levied at 95% of people on here?... [hmmm] is it becoz i is a BLOKE?... surely not.

OP posts:

edam · 01/12/2006 21:05

Am also puzzled Unquiet, don't see why you've had such a hard time on this thread. (I don't use 'you don't know you are BORN' as a stick to beat my sister with, honest - well, no more than is reasonable between a Biggest Sister and a much littler Littlest Sister. Gets really bad when two of us gang up on the other one...).

nightowl · 01/12/2006 21:25

i have to say, my nan had a hard life. she had three kids and a bedridden husband, worked full time and still kept an immaculate house and children. i never once heard her complain about it though. im sure however she would despair at the way i keep my house....i cant imagine how she managed it!

Original poster

UnquietDad · 01/12/2006 21:31

no edam, wasn't suggesting you did, just that DW and I have sensed this a bit from our older relatives.

OP posts:

Original poster

UnquietDad · 01/12/2006 21:39

happy - "When [you've lived as long as I have/ when you get to my age] you'll understand", is another one. Kind of makes all arguments futile.

OP posts:

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