OK. Does anyone actually come across these competitive snidey mothers the media are **obsessed** with?

[oliveoil]

There was an article in Times 2 yesterday (which I would link but my computer is still misbehaving - maybe someone could?).

Going on about playgroup mafia mums who rule teachers and parents and fight for the best for their children blah blah blah blah. Alphas mums.

I do not know anyone like this. My friends who have children at school do not know anyone like this.

Is it a southern thing or a myth created by journalists?

Oh yes, I live in SW London and we are surrounded by them. I overheard one woman chasing her daugher around the playground shouting, 'you must have water for energy darling, you must have water'. Some of the mums at nursery literally compete with jewellary, buggies, cars. One woman told me that her daughter would be potty trained in a week when she was 18 months old. I don't think she achieved this as she never mentioned it again.

My mum is a teacher and she does tell me a lot of shocking stories about very pushy parents (state school). She isn't shocked or even necessarily bothered by it.

However, it is a really good school and locally reknowned for being good, so I think it attracts pushier parents who are looking for the very "best" for their children.

I suppose the problem is that we can't all be special, we can't all push everyone else to the back of the queue while our individual needs are met 100%.

There was a big story about this sort of Mum in New York about a year ago - it was the cover story of the biggest city magazine there. My guess is that the Times writers are simply looking for a different angle on parenting and have "lifted" and/or adapted the concept from NYC - where the competitive mums are really scary.

omg I am bringing up a tosser.

ds goes to chess club because he wants to and because he is a geek. Oh well.

Ooh ooh......I've just though of one!!! Her 'girls' are now in their early 20's but when they were little she would chose their friends for them. Sent them to private school so that they would only get the chance to meet the right kind of children (made me laugh as I went to a private school and there were some right dodgy characters there...).

I do know some who recite a litany of after-school activities that their kids do. Don't think of them as alpha mums though ....just feel exhausted even talking to them..

Message withdrawn

But OLive what 7 year old is really into Chess? Bit odd I think.

What about a mum taking a bottle of Lucozade sport for her son before a cross country race? 'Drink up dahling it will make you run farster than the other boys'

to my shame I cannot play chess

I do not think it strange for a 7 year old to play chess no

or to do clubs for that matter

if they WANT TO

it is this pushy pushy thing that the article goes on about

What on earth's the matter with sending a seven year old to a chess club? It's not necessarily a sign of competitive parenting - some children actually like the game .

I'm afraid I have come across some pretty dreadful alpha mums (I don't think I'm one myself, despite a liking for chess ) but then I am in London.

Northerner, my 7 year old is into chess!!

I don't know how he found out about it, we don't all sit around playing it at home or anything, but he just really enjoys it. (he also plays football on a Saturday morning - because he wanted to.

(why would a pushy mother want her child to play chess - it won't get him a scholarship or anything will it? )

yes, most of the mums I met when I was in London were Alpha mums. Perhaps it is just a London thing?

I think it is a London/Southern thing

or maybe because all the journalists are based there that is all you hear about

now my article would say "gosh, I wish people would stop talking to me all the time and being nice and friendly, what's with these decent human beings and their lovely children?"

Must admit I was quite worried when dd started school in Sept that I would come across some mums like this but ALL the mums in reception seem fine (so far) maybe stuff will emerge but I was pleasantly surprised, we're all going out for a drink soon.....I blame the journalists (says the journalist )

Meant to say I'm in London - but near the centre not the suburbs. You have to be hard core to survive etc etc

I am an alpha mum

Stop taking the piss

beta

Yes I am better thanks for asking

I am surrounded by them here. Their HQ's are in SW London !!!

There's a really thriving chess club at dd's primary school (ds has just joined the one at High School, but that seems to be mainly so he gets to stay inside and play games at lunchtime). No alpha mums to speak of- one or two who are slightly competitive, but nothing like the article (which I read too- will try and link)

I am a failed alpha mum. Would like to be, but lack the spine to coerce the little monsters into cooperation.

oh definitely a southern thing and only in posh areas. usually mums dressed in boden who drive 4 x 4's whilst chatting on their mobile phones.

To put Olive out ofher misery

Yes I am on the London/Surrey borders and that explains a lot. Whenever I moan about how competitive the other mums are, my Northern friends/family just look at me like I am mad.

Glad to know I am not the only one who thinks this could be a London thing.