Pedants: What "Facts" Have Annoyed You Lately?

[NotQuiteCockney]

I keep going into a nice baker, which has sourdough breads, with a big sign saying they're "yeast free". They're not bloody well yeast free, they just don't have added yeast.

I'm also unduly annoyed by things that are chemical-free, when that expression just doesn't make any sense ...

Make me feel like less of a freak! Share your pedanty annoyances. (No greengrocer's apostrophe stories, please ...)

Amusingly, it wasn't even Dan Quayle's error, from what I remember - it was an error on the flashcards .

Still, made him look a right tit.

I like Harpsi's 'this door is alarmed', reminds me of 6th form college where someone had written under one of those signs 'at the price of eec butter' which shows you how long ago that was ...

these are great. I particularly like Kettle Chips being made 'without science'. so it's not science that causes the potatoes to go crispy when dunked in hot fat? weird. and I actually quite like the idea of being given someone else's choce of tea or coffee - it would be much more fun, you could size up the person sitting in front of you, decide whether they look like a coffee or a tea person, and wait with baited breath to see what the person behind you thought of you - hours of entertainment on an otherwise boring flight. and let's face it the drink is usually so bad that I can't be that bothered to make the choice for myself.

Yes,these are brilliant.
Would that the majority of consumers were as cynical and hard nailed as you lot.
What irks me is the 'helps with' tag.

So you have shampoos that 'help maintain shinier hair' or toothpaste that 'helps create fresher breath'

Helps what in the name of buggery??????

Like these. Particularly "use both lanes".

The cosmetic adverts irritate both DH and I with their pseudo scientific claptrap.

The general lack of understanding about how statistics is used to correlate risks, e.g. there is a 30% chance of rain tomorrow" is a probability statement about a single event, i.e. it will either rain or not rain tomorrow. Also, the sloppy reporting of crime figures fuels people's fears of becoming victims of crime when statistically they are very unlikely to be so, e.g. a 100% increase or doubling of a problem that affects one person in two million will still only affect one in a million.

The general lack of understanding that everything in the universe is made up of chemicals and that the most complex chemical factory on earth is the human body. I feel the hair on the back of my neck stiffen everytime someone says smomething illuminating like

"food in supermarkets is packed full of E-numbers". Well, amino acids, vitamins, fatty acids and even oxygen (E948) have E numbers.

but speedymama, chemicals are BAD. end of.

I better stop drinking water then!

DH pointed out something I'd noticed and gone about - on the Rice Krispies it has a bit saying 'The goodness of rice'. . What goodness, exactly? Especially once it's been popped.

I hate notices that start with "Polite notice" WTF???

Pseudo science in cosmetic ads 'microlipospheres'. That would be small balls of fat then.

I'm glad that cosmetic ads telling you "60% of women agreed it vaguely works" now have to tell you the survey sample size ( albeit in tiny letters)
They've usually asked about 20 people. Erm, so that means 8 women out of 20 thought your product did bugger all...

'This product makes your hair 60% more shiny'

Show me a unit of shine and how you measure it.

Those Polite Notices are to try and fool you into thinking they say Police Notice...

(DH has just finished a trial for a moisturiser and the leading questions they ask in the questionnaire are just astonishing - it's all 'My skin felt smoother' Strongly Agree/ Slightly Agree/ Slightly Disagree/ Strongly Disagree - so what if it felt smoother after applying the product than it did before; but not as smooth as if you'd used your normal brand of moisturiser? hmm?

I think we may have provided them with some quotes they won't use in adverts for it...

Caboose - go here scroll down to "Analyzing the laser-light reflection from human hair fibers. II. Deriving a measure of hair luster"

is big money science!

i bought some peanuts and on the back you guessed it - it said this product contains nuts ... well duuuuuuh. and i bought some soap that looked like cakes and sweets and on the box warning this product is not edible" lol!!

Is that why it says "polite notice". I am always boggled by the polite notices. Where are the "Fecking Rude Notice" signs?

It's funny how you become immune to adverts, or at least to advertese. I remember seeing some adverts for Migraleve that made relatively clear claims about it actually working. When DH started getting migraines, I bought Migraleve, and lo and behold, yes, it actually works.

The near miss thing really really irritates me.

Mrs BAdger - you have opened my eyes

DS's scooter has a sticker on it which says 'Caution: this toy will move in use".

"This train terminates here". Spontaneous combustion or pre-programmed self-destruct? Very frightning.

Oh god, there was a big heavy plastic boat toy at a playgroup, with a hole in the bottom for feet ... and it said it wasn't a flotation device.

my lo saw an ad in a mag for a cleaning product that promises "tougher cleaning" - no thank you!!

these aren't quite "facts" in the spirit of the OP - they're just incredibly stupid notices (courtesy of New Scientist)

• on a bicycle wing mirror: warning objects in mirror are actually behind you
• on a toy: suitable only for children over 5 in the USA and over 3 in the EU ( god I love that one)

the worst fact-type one was the kiddies' breakfast cereal claim that tests had shown it to "aid concentration"**compared with no breakfast or breakfast comprising only sucrose.

my asterisks disappeared - but you get the idea

whiskas ads used to have the buyline 8 out of 10 cats who expressed a preference does that mean the 10 cats in 10000 do you think?

on a completely different note when I look at bottles that say still water I find that reassuring.

Estate agents who say a house is 'literally moments away from local shops'.

So how long is a moment?

In fact estate agent blurbs in general drive me nuts. I find myself correcting the awful grammar and spelling with a red pen .. can't help myself