Pedants: What "Facts" Have Annoyed You Lately?

[NotQuiteCockney]

I keep going into a nice baker, which has sourdough breads, with a big sign saying they're "yeast free". They're not bloody well yeast free, they just don't have added yeast.

I'm also unduly annoyed by things that are chemical-free, when that expression just doesn't make any sense ...

Make me feel like less of a freak! Share your pedanty annoyances. (No greengrocer's apostrophe stories, please ...)

Surely pentapeptides being too big is a Good Thing? I really wouldn't want random cosmetic ingredients getting absorbed by my skin ...

oh I really wish I had one

this thread has really tickled me, keep them coming!

"Buy FlakeyScalp Dandruff Shampoo. Nothing works faster."

I'll use nothing then, seeing as it'll work faster.

Oh and "designer" - designer clothes, designer bags, yada yada yada...as opposed to all other clothes and bags which presumably just morphed into existence without any kind of design process.

Bugger all passes though the skin, most 'moisturisers' act by creating a barrier that slows water loss.

You may as well find something cheap, bland, that you like the smaell of, and use lots of it.

The rest is all flim flam

My fave correlation cock up is on the Chruch of the flying spagetti monster (well worth a visit btw)

The guy who owns the site shows a positive correlation between declining numbers of pirates and global warming!

arrgghh ha me harties!

"Up to" really bugs me. "Buy our product and you will receive a full-body massage from up to twelve naked supermodels" -- so that would include zero, then. Not the world's greatest marketing pledge.

Another one that gets me is nappies...you know they go thoruhg the whole boy/girl nappy and then back to Unisex....and everytime they sort of pretend it's an all new theme, lol...hm!
All the mascara ads....all those promises, eh!

Oh yeah what's the latest from Pampers? 'Our Activefit nappies are rubbish, buy our Naturalfit now.'

Nourishing shampoos and conditioners - hair is dead! Same for nails.

most beauty advertising is a load of Boswellox.

"Aqua" on moisturisers instead of just calling it water.
Looked at list of ingredients on one of mine yesterday and noticed something called "maris aqua".
FFS.

On the same line as designer clothes, there are "architect designed" houses. Presumably in contrast to all the other houses designed by fishmongers and roadsweepers.

Ah yes, "architect designed houses"

Although I'm not convinced some houses aren't designed by fishmongers or roadsweepers....
But that's an entirely different debate

Oh, actually, most new developments (you know, estates, with rows of houses) aren't architect-designed, they're just designed by the builders, from what I know. Which is a bit surprising, but not really if you look at the houses.

Still, it's a sad state of affairs.

Yeah, I hate the aqua, too. I really avoid beauty products (I own no makeup, I have some moisturisers, that's it), but I do see the alarming adverts.

But then, you can say any old crap in a lab coat and it'll sound convincing, won't it?

Oh, I thought the 'aqua' was just to make it internationally understandable - most of the ingredients being names of chemicals which are pretty much the same in any language, so if they buggered it up by putting 'water' they would have to bother to translate it.

'Homemade' is used a lot to describe food that's not.

Also food that has a nice reassuring (ficticious) name attached to it. For example who are Sarah Lee, Aunt Bessie etc???

I can't take those letters you get from catalogues with the ridiculous stories the make up to get you to order.

'At a recent meeting your name was mentioned by our MD to receive blah..' and then they stick on a pseudo 'handwritten' post-it note with 'Urgent' written on it to add authenticity.

I'm not 5; I know this did not really happen.

Oooooooooh now I actually think of the word pentapetides, it makes sense what it is!!!

Thankyou!!!

pmsl at any old crap in a lab coat sounding convincing - I use this at work a lot if people are disturbing me for no good reason - students, telephone sales people, DHL men etc. Works especially well if you have serious intelligent glasses to peer over too.

Does that not really happen TG??? Have I not been specially selected to win £100000000 when I order 25 things????

Tinygang - so agree on homemade.

And re. names, let's not enquire too closely into the life story of Uncle Ben, eh?

MrsB, a shaved head has much the same effect, but with more menace and less authority, so to speak.

How do you use your lab coat with telephone sales people, though?

hmm Uncle Ben - not very pc I'm sure

I find good old vaseline fab for cracked skin - though it's a petrochemical so I could be absorbing some nasties I suppose. Actually as a lab chemist I wear gloves because more things get through the skin barrier than you would like to think, although mostly they do just work on the epidermis & give you chronic contact dermatitis & a bad long term prognosis for cell damage

Lol Sorry Flamesparrow. I bet you'll win the million now and prove me wrong!

NQC imagine the combined effect of lab coat, glasses and shaved head...

Telephone sales people always think they're speaking to an admin type, so saying 'I'm sorry, you've been put through to the laboratory - we're a busy research lab and don't deal with sales calls' tends to do the trick.
Adding 'I had to take off my RNA-free gloves and put my experiment on ice to answer this call' makes everyone get to the point quicker too...