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Original poster

What do you want to be called in hospital?

48 replies

JennH · 30/04/2004 21:52

Got shouted at by a patient for calling them by their first name today. Said it was disrespectful. I get this ocassionaly and don't understand..

I call everyone by their first name (often don't know how to pronounce last name!) also it seems friendlier to me, I would rather be called Jenni than Mrs H.

What would you prefer? Does it depend on who is calling you it (Dr, nurse, HCA etc)

OP posts:
fairyfly · 30/04/2004 21:54

Mis Hotfox

wobblyknicks · 30/04/2004 21:55

I'd rather anyone called me by my first name in hospital. When I was in hospital with dd they always called me Mrs ..... which felt really cold, then when I was in with gastroentiritus they got away with not calling me anything and that felt just as bad if not worse. Think most patients would really appreciate being called by their first name, I'd ignore the troublesome few if I was you. Bet if you called them Mr/Mrs there'd still be some who'd object.

Tissy · 30/04/2004 21:58

I would want to be called Mrs X. unless I was particularly friendly with the other person...a nurse I had met more than once or twice would have that honour, but not every Tom, Dick or Harry!

Janh · 30/04/2004 21:59

Strictly speaking, I thought people were supposed to be asked when they're admitted what they want to be called, and then have that written on the card on their beds. However I have been through this procedure and what was on the card has been ignored completely.

Not everybody wants to be called by their first names, especially by people who don't actually know them. I hate it when people do it on the phone and I'm not that keen face-to-face either. Prefer formality meself (must be my age!) Sorry, Jenni! (Signed, another Mrs H)

Ghosty · 30/04/2004 21:59

Although never offended if anyone calls me by my first name, I would always call someone Mrs * or Mr * until I was asked to call them by their first name ... unless it was someone I met casually and socially obviously.
Especially in a professional context ie ... parents of kids I taught ...
And especially older people ... I think the older generation definitely see it as a 'respect' thing ...
I was brought up to call my parents friends and my friends' parents by their surnames ... Even now I call some very close family friends Mr and Mrs ... they always laugh at me but I can't bring myself to call them by their first names ...
That's my take on it anyway ...

Tissy · 30/04/2004 22:00

Meant to add that it also bugs me if salespeople address me by my first name because it happens to be written on my bank card, that does not give them the right!! Maybe I'm just old-fashioned!

roisin · 30/04/2004 22:01

I prefer Mrs Jones. I think it's maybe just from spending time in schools, I think a stranger calling me by my first name is odd.

I went to a new GP surgery, and they called appointments by first names, except for pensioners (I didn't know this), and was wondering why they kept calling for a child called Roisin, and no-one was responding! It just never occurred to me that they would call me Roisin rather than Mrs Jones, as I'd never met the receptionist before in my life.

I wouldn't shout at anyone, it just wouldn't seem right somehow.

Lisa78 · 30/04/2004 22:01

Ma'am

Lisa78 · 30/04/2004 22:02

seriously Jenni, I don't mind being called by my first name, I think its older people who think youngsters such as yourself, should call them Mrs X

Posey · 30/04/2004 22:12

I would always prefer to be called by my first name, by the nurses etc, although I think if the consultant saw me I'd find it more apprpriate to be called Mrs X (not really sure why)

My mum was in hospital last year, aged 68, and said she found it odd being called by her 1st name and would've preferred to be Mrs X.

libb · 30/04/2004 22:14

For me it depends on who is calling me and why - I agree with Wobblyknicks, in hospital it is fine as it feels more relaxed and puts you at ease. I think anywhere where you want to feel more relaxed is fine.

However, a while ago I had a man calling me by my first name whilst ranting at me for having the audacity to post his driving licence via Royal Mail (oddly enough we don't hand deliver each licence we deal with). I didn't appreciate the sarky tone that came with my name and told him so.

I guess it is each to their own and one of those things we have to learn from experience. I hope you have a better day tomorrow. xx

Original poster
JennH · 30/04/2004 22:15

In my experience the older people ask me to call them by their first names

I am quite surprised actually, our standard policy is to call people by first names. I often spend 12 hours a day with people so I think I know them quite well!

Hope I have not managed to offend everyone I look after (and if requested I would always call people what they want!)

OP posts:
sexgoddess · 30/04/2004 22:16

I don't have a problem with people calling me by my first name (Sex) as long as they don't have a problem with me doing the same. On the whole people I have a day to day relationship with or people I would see regularly (ie. doctor's receptionist) can call me by my first name.

I don't like salespeople calling me by my first name at all as I have not intention of forming a lasting/trusting relationship with them. When I go to the bank they staff say "Thank you Mrs Goddess" which I like.

carla · 30/04/2004 22:17

By my first name. Both pregnancies. No doubt.

Lisa78 · 30/04/2004 22:24

Dunno then Jenn, why'd s/he shout at you - seems to me, they were being disrespectful by shouting at you

eddm · 30/04/2004 22:55

I do not like being addressed by my first name by someone who expects me to address them as 'Dr' (or 'Mr' if a surgeon) or does not give me their first name in return. That does sound snotty, doesn't it? Actually, I'm generally happy to be called by my Christian name but the doctor thing really pisses me off. Not that I've ever had a problem with authority, or anything...
Can be a problem the other way round, too. Had a hard time complaining about my community midwife because she'd only used her first name, which is fairly common. I had no idea what her surname was.

eddm · 30/04/2004 22:57

When I speak to my bank's call centre, the call handler always asks 'can I call you xxxxx' which I like.

eddm · 30/04/2004 23:02

Another thought (sorry to monopolise): I really, really hate it when hospital/community health staff call me 'mum'. I AM NOT YOUR BL**DY MOTHER. Another issue of respect, I think. Indicates they a. can't be bothered to remember my name, b. assume I call myself 'mum' (it's mummy, thanks very much) and c. there's just something darn patronising about calling you 'mum' ? makes me feel like they are patting me on my head.

toddlerbob · 30/04/2004 23:04

As I've had ds in tow for all hospital things nurses just call me "Mummy" and sort of talk through ds; "we're going to give your mummy some medicine now". One of my doctors comes out and calls my first name, the other calls me Mrs Bob I don't mind either. Older people do seem a little sensitive though and if there was a significant age gap (say 20 years) between you are them I would probably go with Mrs X until invited to call them something different.

toddlerbob · 30/04/2004 23:05

eddm - posts crossed - great minds think alike!

Original poster
JennH · 30/04/2004 23:18

Eddm, I am only called Jenni, prefer the people I look after don't have immediate acsess to my surname (although if asked i give it).

If I was being called Mrs H. i would expect to call others Mrs...

OP posts:
Nutcracker · 30/04/2004 23:29

First name, all the time.

carla · 30/04/2004 23:44

Precious

hoxtonchick · 30/04/2004 23:45

At my GP surgery you tell them what you want to be called & they write it on the computer & call you that. Relevant to me as my name is shortened & I was ignoring them when they called the longer version. If I am talking to one Dr about another I try & use their full name (ie first name + surname) so as not to imply they have a higher status. Uppity, me.....

suedonim · 30/04/2004 23:49

Using a first name is a sign of intimacy, esp for older folk, and I guess that's why some people don't like to be addressed that way. I'd have thought that in a hospital it would be up to the patient, not the staff, to decide how they should be addressed, the same way as nowadays we like to choose whether we are addressed as Miss, Ms or Mrs.

Ghosty, ikwym about the Mrs and Mr. I was brought up like that. If we were very close to people we could call them aunty and uncle. I still have an Aunty Peggy who I cannot think of as plain Peggy, it sounds so wrong!

I prefer being MrsX when dealing with official stuff, but just about anything is better than being known as The Dog's Mum!