Swagger Inn: Thread 94 - Cumpleaños feliz! It's Santi's 37th birrrrthday...

[MadamedeChevreuse]

Bring your steak and guacamole sandwiches and raise a glass of cheeky Chilean red to the hottest musketeer of them all!

Let's play pass the parcel. When the music stops, Team A gets to take off a layer.

Ready...go!

Evening

Seems like everyone ran in here while I was eating dinner

one last rule? No nasty personal attacks. But full on violence over HBFs is allowed. Hell, it's positively encouraged in the Athos queue.

Bloody hell helen that looks nasty. Luckily I don't react to bee stings, in fact they don't seem to hurt me much at all. Which is fortunate for the ungrateful little buggers because one stung me last summer when I was mowing the lawn, even though I was carefully avoiding mowing the bees on the clover

Sits next to WW hmmmm........... look at the pretty.....

Rule another:

• if you can look at the pretty thread decorations without being distracted, then there's something seriously wrong with you

Yay, well done on the social organising front anne. Bless publishing types, they just need a little push. And go for it with the studying. You are wench!

Have just watche GoT twaas good, and now I think I need an early night to make sandwaiches for lunch tomorrow, tidy up kitchen etc etc etc

Night wenches

Night ww

Evening wenchery!

Two key things happening in the House of Comtess. 1) ds1 hasn't shaved for a few days and has a pitiful teen stubble. We have decided to be kind and there is a group pledge not to take the piss (exam kindness). But it's gonna take some time to get going. Bless him. It's funny to see how much it is paining the pisstakers not to say anything.

2. Mr C appears to be on the horn in a big way. Just unstacking the dishwasher after dinner he's leaned in and whispered 'do feel free to shag me at any time'.

3. big guffaws at roooooles. Um. Yep. My big rule is usually used to measure the length and breadth of my utter love and devotion of youse lot. And Tom. And Tom's cock. Obvs.

4. fucking hell Helen looks like a blow up doll hand.

comtess - that is just an invitation to come onto him at either a really embarrassing moment, or a really inconvenient one, surely?

(Disclaimer : I'm single. I may not be the best person to be handing out advice on the subject)

Oh Madame thanks ref the paella instructions. I don't put chorizo in normally anyway so that's alright. Interesting re crunchy bits ... I think I keep stirring like risotto and don't leave well alone by the looks.

By the way. This is a lazy admission. You can get bags of pre chopped soffrito mix in Waitrose. Yup. #entitledbiatch.

Ooh, Comtess that reminds me, I need to take my scale rule into work tomorrow.

Wou;d Livia need the 1:25 or the 1:50 scale to measure the Cardinal's trouser department ? Cos, it's, you know, only 1/25th the size of a normal one

Is it safe??.....has Liv run out of pic allowance yet?

Helen bleugh, that's impressive

I rather the like the roooolz....a bit like the 7 deadly sins in that book that kept getting mentioned at school....although I'd rather adhere to the Flying Spaghetti Monster's "We'd really rather you didn'ts"

.

• Thou shalt not covert another team's Musketeer

• Thou shalt not leave the chaise in such a state that it requires constant Febrezing or...

• Thou shalt buy thy own Febreze

• Thou shalt not leave Athos without hydration

• Thou shalt keep thy tongue always in thine cheek

• Thou shalt not cover thy neighbours Arse or tits , unless it is to deliver a firm parp

• Thou shalt not commit bestiality, unless you are Liv, in the dungeon...who knows what she gets up to down there

Sorry Elk, you're on a hiding to nothing with the first on your list

Also BTW, Febreze stops being effective on costumes after a while - vodka spray is the way to go

Oh, and Madame (I knew there was something else), Phwoar!, that paella sounds bloody lovely.....will save that one for another day, but not Wednesday , as Drinky's coming to stay - yay!

They'd better not be blood vodka spraying those costumes....think of the sweat, think of the very Muskie essence!! .... It'd be like taking a beautiful piece of patinated antique furniture and scrubbing it with Jiff. Nooooooo!!!

Newsflash!

Omg! Nigel Farage is still ukip leader!!!!

Can this world get any more cruel???

Madame and have you also seen that George Galloway is contesting the result in Bradford West ? Ahahahahahahahahahahaha

Ooh Cinn you're damn right. I'm not havin' rule one. Cos I do like a little Santi on occasion as Sparkle herself might say 'as a warm up act'. So I need to covet on occasion. So that cock won't fight. .

Elkery, you're having a Drinky later in the week? Lovely!

Still here - FMLackOfEarlyNights/Willpower.

Comtess - DH sniggered at your description of my hand. I can confirm the fingers won't bend comfortably beyond holding a mug. And not even that much really.

Elk YY to the Flying Spaghetti Monster and his Noodly Appendages and [smug]

Night all, am off to kitchen hayloft.

Is he now cinn. What a pathetic ballsack.

Also, it's a very minor thing, but my local constituency re-elected a Labour MP, wiith a significantly increased majority, and one of our immediate neighbour constituencies chucked out their Tory MP and elected a Labour one. Not that it makes any difference, but hey

Madame Fair play to you - Malcolm Tucker is bloody awesome! I'm impressed!

No I haven't run out of picture allowance yet - it turns out that if you use your phone (not the app) you can post loads I think

Cinn As a member of the PC Banana Brigade (yes, that is actually a group of fangirls who admire his more obvious assets, I can assure you that the only way of measuring it is with one of those wheels on a stick that they use for measuring roads

I cannot fucking abide Febreeze. Or any air freshner beyond an open window.

I can't even get cross about Farage. The whole fucking election has made me deeply despair about people. Even in Wales. You know? Fucksake. Unbearable.

Elk No bestiality, honest! We aren't total sickos you know

Cinn. It's some conciliation to know you're immediate area is actually awake.

I'm just shocked about anyone voting Conservative in Wales. Where I grew up it was like being called a scab. My grandparents would be aghast.