If you are the woman I just insulted in Matalan, I am so sorry, it just came out wrong

[FrannyandZooey]

What I meant to say was "You look stunning, you really should buy that."

I have no idea why it came out as "Ooh I was wondering who that would suit; it looked so awful on the rail..."

If it helps at all I have been in a state of advanced cringing all the way home because of it.

if oyud left the second bit otu it woudl have bene better woudlnt it
lolol

(franny i don't think that's so bad... perhaps i am just an arrogant madwoman but if someone said that to me i'd take it as a compliment)

anyway, what did you buy?

and if i was to ask you to sell me some baskety bits and bobs for some of dd's birthday presents would you be in a position to help? there are still some plastic items in her treasure basket.

Oh yes, dear aitch, pls email me, I have a few lovely bits at present

(blimey, her birthday, how exciting)

Right, I have surveyed what I bought in the cold light of day and some of it is going to have to go back. But I got:

little fluffy knitted wrap thing to drape round your shoulders, black with a bit of sparkle in, £5

sort of capelet thing, tiny short cardi with asymmetric buttons at neck, £7 (should have been £14 but there is a pulled bit so I asked for money off )

Pointelle type cardi again with asymmetric buttons, £12, think this is going back as although nice it is not very warm, as holey and very cropped sleeves so a bit pointless really

Tweedy brown cut off trousers with a big turn up, and a slightly goldy sparkly effect. I really like them but can I wear sparkly trousers for every day? I think I can If not they will have to go back. £18

A sparkly scarf thing that is going back

The most beautiful peacock green necklace and bracelet in a sort of Rennie Macintosh
style, totally fab. The jewellery at Matalan is just gorgeous atm and about half the price of Accessorise. Erm these were £11 for both.

Oh and I am going back today to get boy's pyjamas, wrapping paper and look for stuff for dp. If I see the woman again shall I hide?

Explain to me what is wrong about plastic in a treasure basket? Surely it is still a different texture/material and part of everyday life now.

(and pmsl @ your comment. Priceless !!)

Frances, you are going to have to get yourself a new accent. You cannot get away with doing such non-English things, with an English accent.

How do you feel about sounding American? You could be from Seattle maybe?

Australia's a bit of a good one, too, although I fear people are working out that it doesn't really exist.

Soupy, plastic objects all tend to have the same texture, smell, and taste. It's not so much that there's anything inherently wrong with plastic itself - just that giving your baby only plastic objects to play with (which is what many babies experience) is the equivalent of giving your child processed cheese on white bread for every single meal.

The treasure basket is designed to give a rich variety of sensory experiences - you can't get that from plastic objects.

NQC I think I will just go back to not talking to strangers in changing rooms. It was doomed from the beginning

Hmm, but you've got to admit, your whole "being English" thing isn't very convincing.

Thinking about it, I think American is a better bet for you than Australian. Could you be from California? Washington State?

Do you ever feel the urge to discuss your periods (or your mooncup) with women you don't know, while in a public loo? That would be a giveaway that you are actually American, rather than British.

Ah, tht's Ok then. The long plaited plastic bath scrunchie thing sits well with BabyDragon's woven wicker ball etc and has a vastly dfferent texture to the plastic teletubby she's rather fond of (but which is not in the basket I hasten to add)

"your whole "being English" thing isn't very convincing"

do you reckon? Have always thought I am terribly terribly British (uptight, etc)

I just say embarassing things in a Mr Bean style, that's all

Soupy I have plastic bath scrunchies in mine too, also mirrors in a plastic frame. I am sure you can see the idea, though - there is a great exercise where you put plastic objects in a drawstring bag and explore them by touch alone. Then do the same with objects from the treasure basket. It is quite revealing.

Uptight about what?

You are clearly not English. You don't mind talking to strangers, you enter into confrontations (e.g. Pizzagate), and you say what you think, never mind if that's the opposite of what everyone else thinks. Oh, and you don't drink booze. Not English.

There must be some sort of website out there that helps people work out their nationality ...

Yes, but, Hugh Grant ......?

you have a point

However I don't like olives or blue cheese, remember? I must be English.

lol

Hugh Grant?

Yes ... but you don't like meat. And the vegetables you like, do they need to be boiled to a pleasingly grey sludge? No.

Not English.

Re: olives and blue cheese ... I know this will come as a shock to you, but ... how do I put this? Not all Forn kwisine is the same. It's not all "curry with olives and blue cheese". Believe it or not!

i'm still PMSL at the thought that everyone is finally catching on that Australia doesn't really exist...

Yeah, I don't know what Hugh Grant has to do with this. He's English, though, that's for sure. Well, the characters he plays are, anyway.

There are plenty of foreign countries where they eat unspicy food, although most of them (from what little I know) like fish rather a lot.

Could you be a mutant vegetarian Icelandic person? Oh, no, wait, they're antisocial, and they drink a lot ... Nice scandihoovian body attitude etc, though.

They are, though, aren't they?

Australia is not a real place. It's a reeducation centre in North London.

They take the asylum inmates who can't really reintegrate, too loud, unable to pass as normal human beings, teach them to talk funny, and then set them loose.

"It's not all "curry with olives and blue cheese""

you lie, crazy foreign lady

ROFL

you are making a LOT of sense today, NQC.

You're right.

It's all "curry with olives, blue cheese and squid". :-P

Glad to hear it, aitch. I didn't manage to convince suzywong, when I met her the other week, but that's not stopping me!