As a Mother, I have mastered the art of................

[LadyDooM]

Sorting arguments while sitting on the toilet.

reading books out loud whilst thinking of something else entirely

Me too Harpsichord. Cooking whilst supervising homework, sleeping whilst simultaneously watching a dvd....

Catching someone elses vomit

Please place the "'" in the correct place below ... thank you

Message withdrawn

Was that directed at my post ghosty? Am feeling so fluey my grammatical skills are fading fast...

cleaning up the most revolting bodily fluids without flinching

spotting a poo in a nappy a mile off

....I have mastered the art of improvisation (eg. this empty plastic bottle and windscreen scraper become toys when we're stuck in a traffic jam for what seems like hours, this muslin cloth is a sunshade/bib/peek-a-boo toy/flannel)

Changing a nappy with my eyes shut at 4am.

Holding holding poo.

making up stories about Mr Bump and his adventures. at a rate of at least two a day for weeks.
new adventures required daily.

Having the reflexes of a cat, quick enough to snatch any projectile from the air inches from baby's head.

Feigning relaxed and positive encouragement while hiding inner anxiety.

reciting memorized stories that have been read over an over without fighting for the control of the book.

having a sixth sense that i must shout "step back from the tv." While doing dishes.

sounding sincere when you "accidentally" ram somone with the pushchair when you have asked to get past and they don't move. "Oh I'm sorry, I'm a bad driver!"

Smiling serenely when inside I'm screaming.

NO bluejelly ... I would NEVER presume to correct someone else ... glass houses and all that
I was directing it at my own terribly written post with the missing apostrophe

Saying "Mmmm? Really? That's amazing!" with real interest when I have absolutely no idea what has been said to me ... mostly it is enough to satisfy DS .... but DH is catching on

Sleeping 6 hours or less at night!

Sounding like I know what I'm talking about when kids ask me a question From: homework, Why is a circle called a circle, what does God look like? etc

Saying 'Don't worry darling, it was an accident'
while clearing up cereal/milk/paint/sugar/wee/shampoo/etc for the hundredth time. Before breakfast.

operating on no sleep
patience

Going from actualy fainting at the mere picture of a spider or crane fly in a picture book to actualy holding one(crane fly) that ds has handed me politlely and nicely with a beautiful smile on his face saying here you are mummy!Without fainting

juggling(sp?)

Ignoring other peoples' noise. I used to be badly noise phobic and get myself in a real state. Now I'm just glad it's not some noise I have to deal with.