what are the most absurd bits of advice you've received as mums

[hushshessleeping]

dd's great grandmother on dh's side has helpfully advised me 'not to stoop'when pregnant, to tie a cord around the top of my stomach so the baby wouldn't go too far up, to 'stretch' the baby's neck so it doesn't stay too short, to harden up my nipples using methylated spirits. She's from Guyana. She also told me that putting salt under her baby's tongue soon put a stop to his biting. It's a wonder the MIL and uncles ever survived!!

MIL told me to give dd Ribena at 6 wks old, because she might be thirsty. Thus started a war which is still running 7 years on! She makes a point of telling me she's bought a new bottle whenever she has dd, 'specially for her'. Luckily dd hates it and coke (which mil graduated to recently). She's a bloody ex-dental nurse, too!

Eat lots of cream and butter to make good quality breast milk (from perfectly rational colleague.)

The day after DS was born, an unwanted visitor said, "remember, his foreskin won't be retractable until he's about 7"

To massage dd's bumhole with my finger to make her poo. Not only is that eeewwwww, probably quite uncomfortable, it was also never necessary -thank goodness!

All from dh's helpful side of the family - 1. don't overstimulate dd as she might die; 2. don't be too clean as dd might die; 3. don't let dd get bored or cry too much as she might die of dispair. Luckily I wasn't suffering from pnd (all excellent pieces of advice came in the first 2 weeks!)

lol Fogi
How utterly bizarre.

I have another - don't blow on her face/tickle her feet, she'll have a seizure.

I didn't find the veiled threats that my baby would die if I didn't take their wonderful advice utterly bizarre more like utterly bloody outrageous to talk in such a way to a hormonal woman! Luckily I stopped listening to them ooh about 2 minutes after I met dh.

MIL had ds for an hour when he was tiny so I could go to dentist.On my return she announced she had given him "a bit of water with sugar in " as he had seemed a bit thirsty.I had left a bottle of EBM.Crazy woman.

Ah yes wrinklytum - I had fogotten that bit of advice I received (again from dh's family), to give dd water with sugar in or cows milk as soon as possible. When I said this would not be happening I was informed that they'd give it to her when I left her with them - dd has never been left alone with them to date!

Don't let the baby see itself in the mirror???

If someone knows a good reason for this I'd love to know

lact8 that's an old wives' tale. if a baby sees looks in a mirror they'll see the devil.

Thanks hairymclary!

That would be me without my makeup on then? (My talents at one handed make up application are v impressive)

I remember my mum telling me to give DD some water with a bit of sugar in... I never did.

Also, I remember when I was weaning DD onto mashed carrot and she didn't want to eat, my gran said she used to take the salt cellar and sprinkle each tiny spoonful liberally with salt to get the baby to eat!!!

And I remember the daft one about mirrors and the devil too. And something about hairbrushes and the stray hairs... something about the devil recognising the child from the thrown away hair??? I might be wrong.... just a distant memory of some silly idea.

To absolutely NOT let my child wear shoes until they had been walking for at least 6 weeks.

This, on the day we first took DS our in his orthopaedic shoes and splint, which had been put on straight after he came out of major surgery and 10 weeks in plaster to ensure that his foot would be heal and be held in the right position to learn to walk....

sympathise with you blu, but my dh's grandmother insisted dd wear socks during the heatwave, personally I don't believe in socks indoors, toes need space to wiggle

Mil told me when dd was 4 days old, that a good way to get a decent nights sleep was to give her the yolk of a soft boiled egg!? but only from 2 weeks.......err, ok crazy lady, I might be a first time mum, but thats just odd and quite possibly dangerous!

All those people who cheerily told me to "sleep when the baby sleeps".

... And presumably leave the toddler to cook her own dinner, change her own nappies, and amuse herself with the kitchen knives.

I lost count of how many people told me to sleep when baby sleeps!!!!

Will the fairies make the baby bottles???

Who will do all the housework and look after other children???

Mmmm, excellent advice!!!!!!!!

When baby sleeps you run round like a mad woman, and get as much done as is humanly possible, before the little darling wakes for the next feed.

Also got told to put baby rusk or baby rice in with baby's milk to make it sleep through the night.

I think not!!!!

Don't worry, he will grow out of it (Autism)

"Put some marmite in his food, for god's sake! It must be so bland ..... poor thing, it's a wonder he eats any of it!"

And a classic ... a phone call at 5pm one evening when DS was about 2 weeks old, "Are you dressed in something nice? Have you cooked dinner yet? Mr Ghosty will be home soon, have you put make up on?"

Oh, how I larfed - well, I would have done if I hadn't been in the depths of despair with the start of PND .......

My mum (whom I love dearly) said those things to me ... and 2 years later said the same to my sister ....

Re. the marmite thing she said to DSis "I don't know WHY you and your sister insist on feeding your babies such bland food!"

To be fair (and now feeling guilty about being mean about my mum) she WAS and IS fantastic about lots of other parental advice stuff.

If dd had hiccups, to put a red thread on her forehead.

This from mil - love to know the reason behind it.