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Original poster

what are the most absurd bits of advice you've received as mums

106 replies

hushshessleeping · 16/10/2006 22:42

dd's great grandmother on dh's side has helpfully advised me 'not to stoop'when pregnant, to tie a cord around the top of my stomach so the baby wouldn't go too far up, to 'stretch' the baby's neck so it doesn't stay too short, to harden up my nipples using methylated spirits. She's from Guyana. She also told me that putting salt under her baby's tongue soon put a stop to his biting. It's a wonder the MIL and uncles ever survived!!

OP posts:
phantomrantum · 17/10/2006 18:38

My HV suggested that my DS' slightly tanned skintone was the result of too many pureed carrots.[hmm} Well, it IS possible that if I fed him copious quantities of carrots at every meal, all time, it might have done. At 6 months he liked a bit of carrot, but not quite that much.

Original poster
hushshessleeping · 17/10/2006 20:40

I've had the 'you must feed her water' too despite breastfeeding - on my side of the family everyone is cool, though, as everyone bfed, so it was just expected I would do the same

OP posts:
Rookiemum · 17/10/2006 21:00

This is a great thread. From an old friend who was my CM when I was young I was told not to pick the baby up too much as he would get used to it. As rookiebaby was 6 weeks old at the time and as such unable to self perambulate I felt it was safest to ignore it.

From my cleaner at 6 weeks I should put a digestive in his milk to help him sleep, the sad thing was I was so sleep deprived I rung up my DH who wisely refused to buy them for me.

nebthenoob · 17/10/2006 21:25

MIL's best ones are about being a wife, not a mother - 'never let your husband look in your handbag' (if I had a handbag, presumably) and 'your dd1 is more of a whiner than my girls were - but then I don't think I let them whine....' How do you stop a four year old whining?

nulnulcat · 17/10/2006 21:56

sleep when baby sleeps yeah right and the housework fairy cooking fairy washing fairy ironing fairy and shopping fairy will all come and visit!

flick babys feet when they sleep when feeding - why? how would you like it if someone did it to you!

most of the stuff my mum tells me im amazed that me and my siblings made it into adulthood and she wonders why i wouldnt leave dd with her as a baby!

but she knows what she is doing coz she used to be a nursery nurse and it never did us any harm!!!

MrsSchadenfreude · 17/10/2006 22:07

Give her a bottle, not that breast nonsense (accompanied by cat's bum expression as said it), then you know how much milk they've had.

Put her in her pram in the garden to scream. That's how she gets her exercise (baby two weeks old).

You were on Junior food at 6 weeks (oh really? Perhaps that's why I'm fat then). She wants something solid, not yourmilk (cat's bum face again).

Put egg white/bicarb in the bath water to soften the skin (Romanian doctor).

"I've got some nice milk from the farm for her tea!" (milk unpasteurised in wooden bucket, baby few months old - errr, no thanks, I know you mean well and all that, but...!)

themoon666 · 17/10/2006 22:11

Reading some of these, it's a wonder the human race survived at all. I remember my gran saying she fed all three of hers mince beef and mashed potato at 6 weeks. 'they loved it with plenty of salt on'.

acnebrideofFrankenstein · 17/10/2006 22:22

'don't eat too many grapes, they'll make your milk acid' genuinely adorable midwife from the postnatal level

'don't eat too many grapes, they'll make your milk acid' yoga-teaching aunt on father's side with 5 bf kids

slight problem as i'd just inhaled two trays of grapes brought in my the other side of my family for whom they are trad gift for new mums

Mirage · 17/10/2006 22:43

themoon66-Mil did that as well! She used to tell me everytime I spoke to her,to give the dd's potato,mince & gravy.If it wasn't that it was crushed up Farleys rusk in a bottle to make them sleep..She even gave me step by step instructions on how to crush the rusks up.

I seem to remember the wind taking baby's breath away being another of her favorites too.

MacdogOnElmStreet · 17/10/2006 23:01

my HV visited at 10 days and told me to wake my (bf) dd every 3 hours for a feed as she was obviously lethargic due to low blood sugar.
dd was feeding for an hour at a time and thriving!!
quite happy feeding every 4 hours thank you very much!!

tutu100 · 17/10/2006 23:32

the only person who encouraged me breastfeeding in the beginning was my mum. Everyone else suggested giving ds formula to make him sleep longer, and help his wind problem because he is obviously having trouble digesting your milk. If he's having trouble with breast milk i dread to think how he would have been with formula. However I think I have taught those around me that you never say anything even slightly critical about a mother's breastmilk. I do not believe that anyone can produce poor quality breastmilk. Also my nan kept suggesting I wasn't producing enough milk. I had so much I'd lose 3 ozs on the side I fed from 2nd. Quantity and quality were not a problem. It's other peoples attitudes.

fridascruffs · 18/10/2006 09:42

To give a teaspoon of whiskey, in water I think, to DS/ DD to make them sleep (from birth). (It worked). (OK OK I didn't do it, really!)
I got the sugar water thing too.
Give them formula because they need 'extra'.
Give them a dummy; WHY won't you give her a dummy. Because she won't bloody take one!
Give her ice cream to soothe her gums (teething).
Wash their clothes separately from yours.
(Because DS is getting cold after cold now that he's attending a creche): He gets an awful lot of colds- are you SURE you're wrapping him up warm enough? (Because babies/ toddlers should be roasted like turkeys at all times but especially when they're sleeping; it's a wonder my brother and I escaped cot death.)

slackstockmistress · 18/10/2006 09:59

From my mum-
If baby has a cold, rub Vaseline on the bridge of his nose.
Wrap a penny in a scorched rag and tie it to his cord stump so that his belly button is nice and neat (could you be arsed?).
Put some flour on a baking tray and scorch it in the oven. Mix this with a bottle and it will fill the baby up. She did this with my sister who now has, surprise surprise, a gluten intolerance.
If you get heartburn while pregnant, that's the baby's hair coming.
If you have a bleed while pregnant, that's the 'extra bit' coming off, so you are going to have a girl.

Surfermummystomb · 18/10/2006 10:16

When dd was 3 DAYS old I told the midwife that I was concerned that I wasn't bf properly as dd wasn't sleeping and crying all the time, She told me to get strict and described controlled crying.

kandi · 18/10/2006 10:26

From my lovely Nan talkingabout when dd had a temperature. 'Run 2 baths, 1 hot and 1 cold and dunk her in one from the other'. She did this with her 4 kids, I'm surprised it didn't kill them off!!

Also from Nana, 'don't try to stop her when she starts trying to walk as they will walk anyway.' Apparently she was concerned about bandy legs

Bugmum · 18/10/2006 10:32

My mum's lovely Jamaican friend, who is always buying little bits for DS, told me when he was newborn to get a little bottle full of glucose to give him every day, so he'd grow up big and strong. Apparently, it's traditional in her background. Blimey, he's have grown big anyway, if I'd listened to her advice...

r3dh3d · 18/10/2006 10:33

"You mustn't pick the baby up, it spoils them and then they want attention all the time". This, from a midwife in hospital after I'd just got the baby back from SCBU after an emergency section. I hadn't held my baby since they took her away from me in theatre. She actually refused to pass me the baby.

TootToot · 18/10/2006 10:35

These are just brill!! I've been laughing out loud for the past 5 mins! Thanks everyone - you've cheered me up!

fortyplus · 18/10/2006 10:36

HV told me to eat Mars bars to make milk sweet so awkward baby would like it better. Didn't believe her but ate the Mars bars anyway. Put on a stone...

I had the one about the cord getting wrapped round baby's neck if I hung out the washing. Totally ignored it - cord was wrapped TWICE round ds2's neck but I don't believe there's a connection.

Tickling baby's feet when he'd finished proper feeding and was just 'comfort sucking' worked for me - don't think I'd flick his ears though!

Boys' foreskins really DON'T detach till about 2.5 years - not 7 though except for my ds2 who's 11 and his has only just done it. Had annual hospital visits since he was 5 and they always said it would do it in the end - he had to try to pull it back himself in the bath every day. A few months ago we heard a great yelp followed by crying from the bathroom - ran upstairs to find ds2 horrified at big shiny purple blob that had just been revealed...

LieselVonTrappDoor · 18/10/2006 11:34

Bandage up boobs to stop milk coming through.

Donbean · 18/10/2006 11:36

if you pick up your new born every time it cries....it will become spoilt

fortyplus · 18/10/2006 11:43

LieselVonTrappDoor - OUCH!
Mind you, I am the person who went to sales at Brent Cross Shopping Centre waearing a coat, got too hot so took it off in John Lewis, when my mum pointed out that I had 6" diamete wet patch where boobs had been leaking!

grannyboots · 18/10/2006 12:36

put cabbage leaves in your bra to help sore boobs.

i used to get a teaspoon of whisky given to me in my formula, to help me sleep.

if it's itchy it's starting to heal - midwife said no that 'if it's itchy there's probably an infection'

fortyplus · 18/10/2006 12:48

CABBAGE LEAVES IN YOU BRA REALLY DOES WORK - BUT IT HAS TO BE SMOOTH WHITE CABBAGE NOT A WRINKLY GREEN SAVOY!

Oops soory - accidentally pressed caps lock & can't be bothered to delete it all - didn't mean to shout at you

MissGolightly · 18/10/2006 12:49

These are fantastic! Just had a great time reading them while DS naps.

I had the one about heartburn during pregnancy meaning the baby will be hairy (he was, very).
I was told by my MIL that I should drink a glass of wine before the last feed of the night to make DS sleep better.
Told by EVERYONE to give him water in case he got dehydrated. Err, what's milk then? A diuretic? Although possibly that was supposed to cure the hangover caused by my alcoholic milk.
Your bump is high, it will be a boy ("it" was)
Also tried the chinese gender predictor on another website along with the rest of my antenatal class. I was very sceptical but did it just for fun and guess what? It was right for everyone in my group! Spooky...