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Swagger Inn (the Snug)

999 replies

SisterHelenoftheEternalCatchUp · 04/01/2015 18:38

The snug is now expanded and open for anywenches wanting to blether away without inflicting their ramblings on the innocent Hmm participants of Telly Addicts.

Musketeer worship is still a pre-requisite to entry of course....

Swagger Inn (the Snug)
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NonnyMouseMcNamechange · 15/02/2015 16:46

Some plot to be going on with...

----
The journey had been full of unexpected stops. Treville had told them she would set the route and the pace, but apart from the first night (when Kate and Athos had reached the inn, mud-spattered and tired as night fell) they'd been surprised to find themselves bypassing the inns on their route to stop at small farmsteads where Kate had been greeted as a long lost daughter, and had then pitched in with whatever task was to hand. There was no indication that anyone was aware of her status in court, or even the title she held in her own right. Apparently she was perfectly competent at milking cows and churning butter, but was kept firmly away from anything involving sewing. And all the while she was listening to the local news and gossip, looking for patterns and anything of importance.

Their presence had been explained away as being a convenient substitution for Martin, with them being on route somewhere beyond her home. To their surprise and slight alarm, they had been expected to earn their keep as well, and had become unexpectedly proficient at mending fences and stacking a hayrick. Any protest they might have considered making had been silenced by a single withering look from her. Although D'Artagnan had muttered more than once that if he'd wanted to work on a farm he'd have stayed in Gascony. Porthos had chopped logs with no complaint, Aramis had been happy enough to be sent hunting for rabbits, and Athos had worked with the air of someone who found the whole situation extremely tedious, but was far too polite to complain. They had all wondered if she could be persuaded to stay at an inn where they could relax with a drink paid for with money rather than labour - although they freely admitted that the standard of food was better on the farms.

Between stops they settled to a routine of Athos riding alongside her in silence while the others took turns to find out as much about her as they could. Thus Aramis had discovered that she had been named for her grandmother who had come to France with Marie Stuart and stayed, but had no living family; D'Artagnan found that she had taken to stopping at the farms rather than inns after seeking shelter from a storm with Martin - who was her usual companion on these trips; and thence found out that Martin had worked in her family's stables for as long as she could remember. Porthos had long debates about the best knives for throwing, and fished endlessly for information about Norah - he had been surprised to find that Kate had know Norah for longer than him. Athos was amused at how often she sidestepped the questions she didn't want to answer and turned them around, leaving her inquisitors puzzled as to how they had ended up talking about themselves and not her. He was also surprised to hear her describe herself as being 'adequate' at using the sword that hung at her side, having got the impression that she was more than competent - another query to be filed away for later. Kate had kept them entertained some of the more outrageous rumours and gossip from court - often about herself.

Eventually on the last night she took pity on them, and stopped at a farm only long enough to exchange news and have a brief drink before carrying on to the next town to find an inn.

---

The town was busy with a carnival setting up, and they were lucky to find an Inn with enough space for them all. Eyebrows were raised as she emerged from her room with her hair up, the battered coat swapped for a cloak, sword gone, and wearing a dress - looking indistinguishable from the other respectable young women they'd passed in the town. She shrugged "There's a distinction between refusing to conform and rubbing people's noses in it. It would be foolish to needlessly upset people in my local market town." She smiled slightly. "Fun, but foolish." She glanced at Porthos "You may get some comments too - try not to let them provoke you."
Once settled they went to investigate the forthcoming entertainment. In the streets, players were advertising their shows, spinning through the crowds and playing tricks on people unfortunate enough to get too close. A harlequin capered through the street, saw them and danced towards them, his chequered costume and ribbons catching the breeze as he spun closer to Kate, who swore quietly under her breath.

"My Columbine!" he cried with exuberant delight. She raised her eyebrows as he revolved around her, grabbing her hand and spinning her with him. "My light, my heart. The square at 7 - you will meet me there?!" Kate pulled her hand free and attempted to sidestep, but found him in front of her again. Her companions watched, amused, but rested their hands on their swords as he continued to block her path. He dropped his voice flirtatiously "I have news..." then seized her hand and knelt at her feet "They say the Lady of the Woods is to remarry, I am bereft - my heart is broken. I shall become your Pierrot."

She glared at him, murmured "It had better be bloody good...." then tripped him as he stood, snatching his staff away as he fell to the ground, pressing the point down into his chest. "My heart is not yours Harlequin, and neither is my purse or its contents." She held out her hand and he ruefully exchanged the purse for his staff, then stood up and tumbled away through the crowd "Adieu, my love, my dove..... until tonight..."

She moved away, shaking her head in exasperation, shooting a sideways look as one dressed as Pantalone bowed deeply to her as she passed.
"What was that about?" "You know them?"
She glanced back at the players. "I'm familiar with the company, they pass through regularly. And they are an invaluable source of news and rumour. Unfortunately they know they are too."

They skirted round the market square, the caravans drawn to the side, backing onto the temporary stage. Street sellers were calling out their wares, excited children running through the crowds. Kate sighed heavily as she looked at the caravans. "I'll need to stop and see them. I'll see you later."

He looked round the square, nodded towards a building on the corner. "I'll be in the tavern." They all ended up sitting around a table outside, watching the passing townsfolk where Athos had a clear line of sight to the caravan where Kate was sitting with two of the troupe. She returned half an hour later looking troubled, but shook her head in answer to the question in his eyes.

As they walked back to the inn, a slight man in inconspicuous clothes fell in beside Kate, olive skinned with hair and eyes black as pitch. Kate waved the Musketeers away and carried on walking. She didn't look at him, merely murmured a greeting. "Corbeau."
"My Lady of the Woods" he looked straight ahead, his tone was amused.
"What news then?"
"What's it worth?"
She raised an eyebrow "I'll tell you when I know what it is."
He shrugged "Then I will see you tonight. The square at 7." He turned to leave.
"I won't be there."
He paused and turned back, looked at her and frowned slightly, then smiled. "But we have a new story - the great romance of the lady and the soldier...it is most amusing." Her flinch was barely noticeable, but he narrowed his eyes and looked searchingly at her. "My lady is not amused?"
She ignored the question "Do you have news or not?"
"I could not say."
"When have I ever not given you fair value?"
"Why will you not come tonight?"
She sighed and turned away, resuming her walk along the street. "I haven't the heart for it Corbeau. And I have others to think of now as well, who may take offense more easily than I."
He followed her again "You would have us change the performance for the sake of your pride?"
She snorted and shook her head. "I would not presume. I will simply not be there. They can laugh behind my back. God knows they have for long enough now."
Corbeau stopped, looked at her as she turned back to wait for him. She seemed more tired than the ride would account for - a tension that he had not seen so close to the surface since her husband's death. "We could change it for a price...?" She resumed her walk and waved him away but he returned to her side. "I hear there will be a carnival in Paris when the Dauphin is born. They say that some troupes will be invited to perform for the King...?"
Kate paused, gave him a measuring look. "I can only recommend you, there are no guarantees. I haven't got that much influence. And it would have to be a show fit for a King. If my companions enjoy it I'm sure they will spread the word too."
A sudden grin lit his face "Come tonight, it will be wondrous fit for a King." Kate nodded briefly, then the smile left his face as he leant in close to murmur. "They say that the orphaned son has returned, swearing vengeance against his father's killer. Keep a knife at hand my lady, and stay close to your protectors. I would be heartbroken if your recommendation did not reach Paris." At that he spun away, hurrying back to the troupe to make the necessary changes to that night's performance.

LaComtess · 15/02/2015 19:56

Ooh lovely Nonny thank you. Interesting new plot potential here! Thank you Wine enjoyed reading that.

SisterHelenoftheEternalCatchUp · 15/02/2015 21:37

Oh! When did that arrive!? I must learn how to spell intreguing intriguing plot development

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MadamedeChevreuse · 16/02/2015 10:01

Nice plot nonny! You are a great writer. Tbh I think I prefer plot to porn! Confused I love a good story.

MiladyBeaWinter · 16/02/2015 16:32

Ooo so Kate is a Scottish wench then?

Nice going Nonny. More please!!

WickedWenchOfTheNorth · 16/02/2015 18:17

Nice work Nonny. Now bring on more filth please Wink

FurFoxAke · 16/02/2015 19:15

Ooh, this is exciting! Well done nonny Flowers Wine Cake

SisterHelenoftheEternalCatchUp · 19/02/2015 10:02
OP posts:
LiviaDruscillaAugusta · 19/02/2015 13:41
DrinkFeckArseGirls · 21/02/2015 20:41

is thi sstill dying going?

Flopsy28 · 21/02/2015 21:25

Hellooooooo snug! I've missed you but it's taken me so long to catch up everywhere else. But I'm back now .
Yo drink! What's on offer to, Erm, drink?

Lyndie · 21/02/2015 21:28
DrinkFeckArseGirls · 21/02/2015 21:38

Bloody Marguerite with Rochfort for a snack.

SisterHelenoftheEternalCatchUp · 22/02/2015 18:29

Meanders in... and out again. Grin

OP posts:
FolknNorah · 24/02/2015 18:39
NonnyMouseMcNamechange · 24/02/2015 21:04

Previously - plot and potential trouble ahead... plus requests for less plot and more, erm... filth.

----
Kate stood frozen in the afternoon sun, blood draining from her face as she watched Corbeau hurry away. "Kate?" She heard their voices as if from a distance "Kate...?" An aside to someone else "Go - find out what he said."

Her hand shot out, grabbing Porthos' sleeve as he turned to leave. Her voice sounded distant to her own ears "No-one goes near him." Her eyes snapped back into focus and she turned on her heel, walking briskly back towards the inn and the privacy of the room. They exchanged uneasy looks and followed.

.......

The room was scarcely big enough for one, but they were lucky to have got it with town so busy.

As he walked in as she turned, straightening up, skirts dropping back to her ankles; her sleeves hung long, angled to a point that almost covered her hands. He raised an eyebrow as she sat down on the bed, hands clasped and resting on her lap, shoulders rigid with tension. There was slightly more colour in her face than there had been as she'd watched Corbeau leave, but she was still very pale.

"Talk to me. What did he say?"

She shook her head, struggling to find words. "The one in the stables..." She stopped, eyes closed and he remembered the comment that Martin had cut off mid sentence - 'She still won't talk about...' He sat down next to her and waited. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. "The one I killed in the stables. I made an orphan of his son. He was sent away to relatives to try and protect him from the scandal. Apparently he's back and talking revenge." She looked at him wearily. "He can't be more than 16 - I don't even know what he looks like anymore."

"He's here, in town?"

She shook her head again "I'd imagine so, but I don't know."

He rested his hand on her leg then lifted it off, gave her a puzzled look, and as she shrugged slightly he reached down and moved her skirt aside. The boots were the ones she had worn in the Cardinal's office - complete with the knife slipped in the side. Her indrawn breath was barely audible to him as he ran his hand higher, a confusing mixture of desire and concern battling for supremacy as his fingers brushed across her skin and then encountered another knife strapped to her thigh. He fought off the urge to continue his fingers' upward exploration, relieved that he appeared to have retained enough self control not to throw her down onto the bed, despite what certain parts of his body were demanding.

He pulled back, dropping the hem of her skirt to the floor. "How may knives are you carrying?"

She sighed and unhooked the sleeves from her thumbs. Both wrists had leather supports strapped on, concealing short blades; she reached up to pull a pin out of her hair - the point viciously sharp. Then finally a fan from her pocket concealing a sharp blade joined the pin on the bed.

"Kate..." He looked at her - it seemed an excessive number of blades, but for all he knew this was her normal precautionary tally of concealed weapons if she suspected there might be trouble. The tension in her shoulders was a fair indication that she was worried, but he was at a loss as to how to proceed. Certainly she was unlikely to take kindly to being told she didn't need the knives - that they would protect her. She met his eyes, looking wary and he smiled slightly, considering at the array of weapons available and running his fingers across the shape of the knife under her skirt. "Really, you could just say 'Not tonight, I have a headache.'"

She looked at him, face expressionless. He held his breath - on reflection that might have been an extremely stupid thing to say considering she was reacting to a threat from the son of a man who'd raped her.

To his immense relief a small smile ghosted across her face before she looked away.

"Kate, we could move on, stay somewhere else...?"

She shook her head "No, I can hardly recommend a performance I haven't seen. And that's the price of their news. So we stay." She leant forwards, elbows resting on her knees, head dropped to gaze down at the floor. He looked at her, distracted by the stray wisps of hair escaped and lying against her neck... and her neck - he reached out and brushed the back of his hand against her skin, absorbed by the feel of it smooth against his fingers as he trailed them down and then across her shoulders, then began to work on the muscles - rubbing and massaging the tension from them. She let out a groan of pleasure and turned away from him, leaning back against his hands and squirming with contentment under the pressure of his thumbs digging into her muscles.

He looked at the fan and the hairpin on the bed "You'll be fine. You're as fast with a knife as anyone I know, and he'd have to past us first anyway. We've got your back." He kissed her neck, self control faltering at the feel of her skin against his lips. "I've got your back."

She closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh on satisfaction as he worked on her shoulders "Back, front, sides... keep that up and you've got any bit of me you want."

"Really? Any bit?" His lips brushed against her ear.

"Mmmmm" She leant her head back as he brushed his beard against her and nibbled down her neck. She reached back to run her fingers through his hair and he abandoned all pretensions of self control.

"How about this bit?" Breathing increasingly uneven, his lips reached her collarbone, then one hand left her shoulders to wrap round her waist, pulling her closer, before tracing the outline of the concealed knife and starting to pull her skirt up. "And this?" His other hand wrapped around her, trying to work its way inside her bodice. "Any bit I want?" The bodice fell away as she released the lacing and he cupped a breast, the nipple hard against his hand. She drew a shaky breath at the touch of his fingers teasing through the material, anticipation building. His voice was thick with desire "If you don't mind..." his fingers squeezed and a dart of pleasure shot through her body, "...if it's not too greedy, I'd rather have all of it in one piece rather than bits...?" Her fingers dug into his leg as his hand brushed upwards against her inner thighs.

Heat flooded into her and she tried to twist in his arms to push him down onto the bed, but he tightened his grip, pulling her onto his lap so he was pressed hard against her back.

"Christ, Kate..." his breathing was ragged as he bit gently on her shoulder, his fingers slipped inside her, and she whimpered, hips driving against his hand, tilting to allow him deeper. Tension of an entirely different kind building within as he massaged and pressed down on her. He closed his eyes, relishing the feel of her - the warmth and wetness surrounding his fingers, whole body squirming in his arms, small whimpers escaping her as she moved against him, desperate for release, as he pulled back and pressed her down onto the bed next to him, both their hands fumbling with his breeches.

The hairpin and fan fell to the floor as she tore the knife from her thigh, pulling his lips down to hers, moving beneath him to draw him inside, clothes pulled roughly out of the way. His fingers caught in her hair and pulled her head back, exposing her neck to his lips as he nipped and nuzzled against her, beard scratching against her skin as she met his thrusts with increasing urgency, the bed creaking under the onslaught.

One of the leather bands on her wrist caught on his hair and he grabbed both her wrists, using one hand to pin them both to the pillow above her head before returning his attention to her neck and lips. He lifted his head as he felt her start to shake beneath him, watched with satisfaction she arched beneath him, lost in desire. He felt her tighten around him, pelvic muscles contracting and was tipped over the edge as she fell back against the mattress with a dazed expression on her face. He collapsed against her then rolled over in a tangle of legs, holding her tightly as she burrowed into his arms. They lay in silence on the bed, hearts racing.

Aramis paused outside the door, hand poised to knock and smirked slightly at the muted noises coming from within. Silence fell, and he knocked on the door.

It was Kate's voice that replied "Who is it?"

He remembered her opening the door of her room at the palace, knife in her hand, and stepped back slightly. "The Provost is here, he's asking for you."

Kate swore under her breath then called a reply "I'll be down in a minute." She sighed and dropped her head back onto his shoulder momentarily, then lifted her head to look up at him, hair falling across his eyes... she smiled and brushed it away, then squirmed upwards to kiss him as he pulled her close again. "Well, it could have been worse - any earlier and I'd have bounced his head off the wall for interrupting..."

He pulled a face "He shouldn't have been interrupting anything- I'm sorry, it wasn't the best moment to drag you into bed. I did mention that you have a very bad effect on my self control."

She stretched against him and shrugged slightly "Did you notice any objection? I'm more than happy to be distracted by you - or had you not noticed? Besides, you'll know if I'm not."

She sat up, pulling clothes and hair straight, and replaced the concealed weapons before she left the room: a picture of respectability other than a tell-tale flush to her cheeks and a bruise from his teeth concealed beneath her shawl.
---

FolknNorah · 24/02/2015 21:31

OOOOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOooooo

That was marvellous as always nonny well done wench! Wine
Grin

LaComtess · 24/02/2015 21:57

Oh god brush your beard on me!!!!!!!!

Lovely stuff Nonny. Hurrah!

WickedWenchOfTheNorth · 24/02/2015 22:08

Absolutely fucking brilliant Nonny !!!

SisterHelenoftheEternalCatchUp · 25/02/2015 07:48

hhnngggggggggggg

How am I meant to concentrate on anything now?

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LaComtess · 26/02/2015 22:58

Bara Brith

This is a v traditional recipe I always use. The zest is v important IMHO. Enjoy

1lb self raising flour
Pinch of mixed spice
6oz Muscavado sugar
1 egg
1tbsp orange zest
2tbsp orange juice
1tbsp honey
½pt cold tea
1lb mixed, dried fruit

Soak the dried fruit in the tea overnight. Mix together the sugar, egg, orange juice, zest and honey, add to the fruit. Sift in the flour and spice, and mix well. Pour into a buttered loaf tin and bake @ 160 for about 1¾ hrs til golden brown.

Enjoy with a massive cuppa. Grin

SisterHelenoftheEternalCatchUp · 01/03/2015 22:49

I shall try it when I have made and eaten the banana bread that I need to make before the black bananas walk out of the kitchen by themselves.... Grin

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NonnyMouseMcNamechange · 03/03/2015 18:58

Time for Tuesday-night smut, apparenlty. No need to do a previously - it's only about two posts up there ^

--------
---

The Provost was waiting with a slight frown on his face as she came down the stairs, he bowed slightly, a warm smile spreading over his face as he saw her.

"Lady Caitlyn, you are well I hope?"

Kate inclined her head to his bow and smiled politely, murmuring non-committal pleasantries, then looked at him enquiringly.

He sighed, the smile fading. "I... could we speak in private?"

She looked at him searchingly. The bar area was full of conversation and there was little chance that anything he said would be overheard unless he decided to shout. She hesitated, wondering whether to suggest stepping outside or try to find a quiet corner somewhere.

He shook his head "Never mind - I heard you were here and though you should know..." he paused and Kate finished his sentence for him.

"Albert's son is back and muttering about revenge?" He looked startled and Kate smiled grimly "Not to worry - you're only the second one to tell me, but you know how people like to pass on good news. Doubtless I'll hear about it again before the day is through... thank you for the thought though."

"What will you do?"

Kate nodded to the corner. "I have an escort, they're under orders to get me home safely, and I have my own defences."

He nodded, still looking troubled. "If I can be of any assistance?"

She shrugged "What does he look like?"

"Brown hair, brown eyes - nothing to mark him out. Hopefully it will come to nothing - I know that his uncle is doing his best to enlighten him to the realities of the situation - persuade him to drop the matter, but he's young and headstrong. I didn't want you to come across him unawares." He looked around the inn, noticing another musketeer coming down the stairs "You’re surely not staying here?"

She smiled slightly "It has a roof and a floor, and space for us all. It will do for the night - you may have noticed that the inns are quite busy. "

"No, this won’t do at all. No, you will stay with us tonight. Charlotte will be delighted to see you. "

Kate shook her head "No, I’m dressed for travel, not company. Besides I promised them a night at an inn. "
He gave the musketeers a dismissive glance "You can borrow a dress and a maid, and they can stay here if they wish. I imagine they are used to such surroundings. "

Kate shook her head again. "They stay with me – they have orders to escort me safely home. "

The musketeers sat with half an eye on the conversation while Athos warned them that there was potential trouble from her neighbouring landowner, and trying to guess what was being discussed with the provost. There appeared to be some sort of disagreement. Eventually she looked up at the ceiling and raised her hand in mock surrender, joining them at the table looking distinctly irritated as the Provost left.

They looked at her "And...? "

"I’ve just been badgered into having dinner at the Provost’s house, which will inevitably mean staying for the night. "

"So…?"

"So you get to escort me there after the performance, then you either stay as well - because I tried using you as an excuse to get out of it and got told that space would be found for all of you as well; or you can come back into town, have a few drinks and pick me up in the morning. "

"Is he trustworthy? "

Kate looked surprised and smiled at Athos "Oh yes. That’s not a problem. It’s just the tedium of negotiating local politics and having to make polite conversation all evening whilst trussed up in a borrowed dress."

............

They were leaning against the wall of one of the buildings surrounding the square, Kate having been less concerned about having a seat near the front than a solid wall at her back. The troupe played the story out, drawing the audience in with a performance interspersed with juggling, music, dancing and acrobatics. Kate shot Porthos an enquiring look as he sighed slightly "Norah would have loved this."

She smiled "If they come to Paris you can take her to see them."

He smiled at the thought. "We went to one once, a couple of years back."

Kate grinned "I know" He looked at her, surprised. "I dragged her out of her shop so I could have someone to go with. Then you turned up while I was buying some food so I bowed out gracefully - no-one likes to play the gooseberry." She shrugged "I think she had more fun with you than she would have done with me." Her tone was blandly conversational, but there was an broad grin on her face. Porthos recalled how the evening had ended and returned her grin, then stood, lost in recollections of that evening as Kate turned back to the performance. A young woman tumbled along a rope tied between trees, appearing to defy gravity and float through the air whilst a whistle serenaded her, mimicking birdsong

............

He had gone to Norah's shop straight from court duty to find it closed, and no answer to his knocking. He searched through the crowds at the carnival in hope rather than expectation of finding her there, but had been delighted to see her sitting alone on a bench wearing a pretty summer dress with a light shawl over her shoulders. It had been a humid summer evening, and the rain had started to fall soon after he arrived. Norah's shawl had been no protection from the downpour and he'd taken off his jacket and given it to her, but by then she was already soaked through. His jacket at least disguised how the material clung to her skin - all but see-though above her bodice.

They had dived into the shelter of some trees to wait for the rain to ease, laughing and joking while other carnival goers ran for nearby taverns and inns. He remembered pulling the jacket tighter around her, and wrapping her in his arms as they watched the rain splashing on the ground. She had leaned back against him, idly run her hands across his forearms, then turned to look at him - blue eyes briefly meeting his, then drifting down to fix on his shirt, moulded to his body by the rain, and she had reached out to trace the seams and the outline of his muscles with her fingertips, tickling slightly as she did so. He'd seized the lapels of his jacket, pulled her close and kissed her - felt her body warm and pliant in his hands as they stumbled against a tree - Norah crushed between him and the rough bark. He had kissed and tickled her in retaliation until, breathless with laughter she had begged for mercy.

The laughing and joking had faded away to be replaced by burning desire as their kisses increased in intensity and he had buried his hands in her hair, pulling her close against him to feel her quivering in his arms as anticipation built. Eventually he had laid her down and taken her beneath the trees - the urgency of their mutual hunger for each other overruling any thought of removing clothes. He had been whispering her name as he thrust into her and their orgasms had been simultaneous - powerful enough to leave them both shuddering and gasping for breath in its aftermath. He remembered calling her name out and then holding her in his arms afterwards, shocked by the strength of his emotions. She had avoided him for weeks after that, refusing to answer her door when he called, or meet his eyes on the occasions he did track her down - let alone take him into her bed. Aramis had laughed at him - accusing him of 'mooning around like a lovesick puppy' and he had all but given up hope when he called on her one last time and she'd finally met his eyes with a shy smile, unable to maintain her pretence of indifference any longer. It had taken all his self control not to take her on the floor of her shop, but his persistence and patience had been rewarded as she had been the one to initiate the kiss that had led upstairs to her bed.

He smiled to himself , then a kick brought him back to the present as he realised they were all looking at him. "Good to see you were paying attention." The comment was drily amused as they returned to escort Kate to the Provost's house - Porthos walking somewhat uncomfortably at the rear.

FolknNorah · 03/03/2015 19:28

PPPPPPHHHHHHHHHWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRRRR

PPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHWWWWWWWOOOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRRR

That's when (in SF) she realises how much she likes him isn't it? Aaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
And
PPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHWWWWWWWWOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRRR

LetUsPrey · 03/03/2015 19:52

Bloody hell fire!!!!!!

Nonny you are absolutely fecking amazing